Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Benson In HD, Oh My, Oh Me...

If you were annoyed by the repeated shots of Jessica Simpson in the stands during the Eagles-Cowboys game, you may not like to hear that the Phils have serious interest in signing Kris Benson to a one year deal. (What a Phucco he would be.) Such a deal would ensure consistent Anna Benson reaction shots during his starts, similar to the events of Sunday.

As readers of this blog know already, I'm all for this signing, and would gladly chip in some of my blogging income to supplement the Phillies offer if he's looking for big money. And if he does sign, I'll be at Best Buy looking for an big screen LCD TV to watch Anna in high-def. (Although that horrible armband tattoo does make her look like a New Jersey skank..)

Seriously though, I am in support of one year of Kris Benson. I would much rather take the risk on a back-end guy for a year than shell out big bucks for Silva, Lohse or Gavin Eaton...
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Poll Update
Geoff Jenkins was the clear cut winner over Mike Cameron for the Phillies outfield vacancy. The big differences: money/years and a 25 game suspension. And since Pat Gillick reads the blog daily (he posts under the name "siralden") this may sway him in his choice.
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3B Update
Currently, third base is a Helms/Dobbs platoon. Not quite ideal, but consider this: Mike Lamb signed a 2 year, $6.6 million deal with the Twins. Lamb is 32, a career .281 hitter with limited power (10-12 homers per year). There was talk of Lamb as a viable option/replacement in Philly (not much talk, but some...) but he's actually just an older Greg Dobbs. Dobbs went for .270 and 10 last year and had a slightly higher fielding percentage at third base. I try to refrain from comparing the Phils to Minny, but they are getting for almost league minimum what the Twins are paying 3 mil a year for.

As far as a FA signing, I'm not liking any of the options. Specifically, I think Morgan Ensberg is done and would be a huge mistake. I also don't want to trade for No-Hit Inge. I'd like to get Joe Crede, but at what cost? We'll see what Gillick pulls out...

Corey

30 comments:

furiousBall said...

i love Anna's titties and I mean that. both of them. equally.

Los said...

Kris Benson has to be better than Adam Eaton, doesn't he?

Bob D said...

Now Carson has bashed Jersey Girls --- "Jersey skank"????
Jacobin and Skeeter will no doubtabily will proceed to trash this blog tommorow. As they have said - go pump your own gas and sit on your own beaches next year.

BenJah said...

i'm also from new jersey and i dont appreciate the "jersey skank" comment, or any of the anti-jersey statements.

fuck you you fucking fucks!!

i guess guys will say anything to entertain themselves in boring-ass, country PA. go build a barn or something, you pricks!

BenJah said...

aw crap, i do have to give you credit for the hysterical gillick/siralden comment. that was a good laugh.

Corey said...

while benjah and skeeter trash the blog, i hope they also trash the use of the phrase "no doubtabily." nice work, bob d.

and you call that hypodermic needle pincushion a beach? i would rather spend my days on the banks of the lovely susquehanna river, soaking up the sunshine (and radiation from three mile island...)

SirAlden said...

"How did you know?! I always post from a bar with a fluid wireless ISP!"

"Busted." and

"Anna is Busty!"

Bob D said...

I have to say this has been one of the most entertaining posts in a while

GM-Carson said...

"We'll see what Gillick pulls out"...hopefully his cock and balls from your momma!

By the way Corey- nice NJ bash again, that's 2 posts in a row. I'm just glad we can all poke fun at each other without getting our g-strings knotted up.

Sign Anna and those tig ol bitties!

GM-Carson said...

Here is a list from Phillies.com about the non-roster spring training invitees: Savery, LHP: The organization's first-round selection in the 2007 First-Year Player Draft will be attending his first Major League Spring Training. He made seven starts for low Class A Williamsport last season, going 2-3 with a 2.73 ERA while holding opposing hitters to a .214 average. In five starts for Peoria in the Arizona Fall League, the 22-year-old went 1-1 with a 0.64 ERA, allowing only four hits in 14 innings. Savery held opponents to an .091 batting average.

Golson, OF: The 22-year-old split the 2007 season between advanced Class A Clearwater and Double-A Reading, hitting a combined .273 with 32 doubles, 15 homers, 68 RBIs and 30 steals in 136 games. A first-round selection by the Phillies in the 2004 Draft, Golson played for Peoria in the Arizona Fall League following the season.

Donald, SS: A third-round choice by the Phillies in 2006, Donald hit a combined .304 with 31 doubles, eight triples, 12 homers and 71 RBIs between Class A Lakewood and Class A Clearwater. He finished with the third-best average among the organization's Minor Leaguers.

Carrasco, RHP: At age 20, Carrasco went a combined 12-6 with a 3.86 ERA in 26 games (25 starts) for Class A Clearwater and Double-A Reading, including two shutouts and a six-inning no-hitter on Aug. 21 against Altoona. A native of Venezuela, Carrasco held Minor League hitters to a .224 average, allowing only 114 hits in 140 innings. In his previous two seasons, he went 24-12 with a 3.01 ERA and four complete games in 52 appearances (51 starts).

Mike Cervenak, 1B: Cervenak played for Triple-A Norfolk in 2007 and led the International League in hits (157), games (140) and at-bats (554). For the season, he batted .283 with 15 home runs and 78 RBIs. Cervenak, 31, has played in the Minor League systems of the Yankees (2000-02), Giants (2003-06) and Orioles (2007).

Ron Chiavacci, RHP: In 26 games (23 starts) for Triple-A Toledo in 2007, Chiavacci went 12-6 with a 3.39 ERA. He went 11-2 from May 25 through the end of the season and pitched at least six innings in 18 of 23 starts. A native of Scranton, Pa., Chiavacci originally was selected by the Expos in the 44th round of the 1998 Draft.

Darensbourg, LHP: Darensbourg, 37, spent the 2007 season with Triple-A Toledo and went 6-2 with a 1.72 ERA in 50 games. In 52 1/3 innings, he didn't allow a home run. He pitched for Magnalles of the Venezuelan Winter League and went 1-0 with a 2.53 ERA in 17 appearances. Darensbourg has spent eight seasons in the Major Leagues with the Marlins (1998-2002), Rockies (2003), Expos (2003), White Sox (2004), Mets (2004) and Tigers (2005), going 8-17 with two saves and a 4.96 ERA in 309 appearances, all in relief.

Tuffy Gosewisch, C: An 11th-round selection by the Phillies in 2005, Gosewisch played for Class A Lakewood and hit .224 with five homers and 45 RBIs in 92 games. In the Arizona Fall League, he batted .250 with one home run and six RBIs in 14 games for Peoria.

Tim Gradoville, C: Gradoville, 27, appeared in a combined 54 games for Double-A Reading and Triple-A Ottawa in 2007.

Paul Hoover, C: Selected in the 23rd round of the 1997 Draft by Tampa Bay, Hoover has spent 11 seasons in professional baseball. He's appeared in 15 Major League games with Tampa Bay (2001-02) and Florida (2006-07). In the Marlins' Minor League system this past season, Hoover, 31, hit .322 with four home runs and 25 RBIs in 38 games. He went 3-for-8 (.375) in three Major League games.

Brennan King, 3B: King will be in camp with the Phillies for the second straight year. The 26-year-old spent 2007 with Triple-A Ottawa, where he hit .277 with 10 home runs and 59 RBIs in 122 games.

Gary Knotts, RHP: Knotts, 30, was signed by the Phillies as a Minor League free agent last August, and he pitched at Double-A and Triple-A for the organization. He went a combined 2-4 with a 3.20 ERA in six starts, including three complete games and two shutouts, one of which was a one-hitter. In 86 career Major League games (38 starts), Knotts is 13-16 with a 5.45 ERA for the Marlins (2001-02) and Tigers (2003-04).

Lou Marson, C: Marson spent the entire 2007 season with Class A Clearwater, batting .288 with 24 doubles, seven home runs and 63 RBIs in 111 games.

Brian Mazone, LHP: Mazone began the 2007 season in the Phillies organization at Triple-A Ottawa and made six starts (3-2, 2.21 ERA) before having his contract sold to the Samsung Lions of the Korean League. In 2006, he led the International League with a 2.03 ERA for the Phillies' Triple-A affiliate in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

Outman, LHP: Outman, 23, split the 2007 between Class A Clearwater and Double-A Reading. Overall, he went 12-7 with a 2.99 ERA in 27 games (25 starts), including a six-inning no-hitter for Clearwater on July 7. He led all Phillies Minor Leaguers with 151 strikeouts. After the season, Outman pitched for both Peoria in the Arizona Fall League and the World Cup-winning Team USA., going a combined 1-1 with a 3.95 ERA in five games (three starts). He had 13 strikeouts in 13 2/3 innings.

Valentino Pascucci, OF/1B: Pascucci finished third among all Minor Leaguers in 2007 with 34 home runs for Triple-A Albuquerque. He also hit .284 with 27 doubles and 98 RBIs in 132 games. Pascucci, 29, appeared in 32 Major League games for Montreal in 2004.

Casey Smith, INF: For Triple-A Salt Lake, the 28-year-old Smith hit .290 with two home runs, 53 RBIs and 13 stolen bases in 109 games. He batted .379 (36-95) in his final 25 games of the season.

Andy Tracy, 1B/3B: Tracy, 34, spent parts of three seasons in the Major Leagues with the Expos (2000-01) and Rockies (2004). In his rookie season of 2000, he hit .260 with 11 homers and 32 RBIs for Montreal. Last season, Tracy, a left-handed hitter, played for Triple-A New Orleans and hit .271 with 23 home runs and 87 RBIs in 135 games. He's currently playing for Licey in the Dominican Winter League.

Brandon Watson, OF: Watson made news in 2007 with his 43-game hitting streak for Triple-A Columbus. For the season, he hit .313 with two home runs, 29 RBIs and 17 stolen bases in 103 games. The 26-year-old had a brief call-up with Washington in June, when he batted .278 in five games. Originally a ninth-round selection by Montreal in the 1999 Draft, Watson has appeared in 24 Major League games over parts of three seasons (2005-07) with Washington and Cincinnati.

Laforest agrees: Catcher Pete Laforest agreed to terms on a split contract for 2008. He'll earn the minimum $390,000 at the Major League side.

*By the way, the Mets scooped up relief pitcher Matt Wise...f'n Patty G is too slow at his old age.

SirAlden said...

I must say I am likin' Brandon Watson. lefthanded, speedy, born in 1981, outfielder, can steal, can field. Was blocked behind all the Cincy Reds OF Bashers, minor league +.300 BA every year.

Check out his Minor League Stats on Baseball Reference.

SirAlden said...

Wise was plus 10 plus 12 Era in August and Sept after hitting a guy in the head. He lost his Mojo to pitch inside.

GM-Carson said...

Brandon Watson is an example of a quality minor league signing. He could actually still end up being a decent 4th outfielder in the bigs.

In fact the Phils have made a decent amount of minor league inkings this offseason which should help keep Triple A competitive.

GM-Carson said...

Iguchi's deal was for 1 year at 3.85 mil, and the deciding factor to take San Diego's offer was living on the West Coast closer to homeland Japan.

Buster Olney reports the Phils have a 4 year offer on the table to Kyle Lohse. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for Loshe last season, but he's a constant underachiever (much in the mold of Eaton) and giving him big bucks for 4 years will be a huge mistake- I'd much rather have Benson, both Kris and Anna.

There's also word that Geoff Jenkins may soon be a Phillie.

Jacobin said...

Kris Benson wouldn't be bad. Anna Benson would be fun. But shouldn't we really go out and get Benson DuBois (Robert Guillaume)? I mean, if he could handle the lunatic Tate family on Soap and later keep Governor Gatling's mess in order, he should be able to serve as an interpreter for Fuqua.

Jarex said...

I remember the first time I accidentally went into NJ - we crossed whatever bridge that is that gets you to Jersey and as soon as we got about half way over it, not sure where we were, my friend and I smelled poop coming from the other side and thought, "Oh, we must be in New Jersey." Then we went to dig on some skanks.

GM-Carson said...

The Jersey bashing has got to stop! Seriously, it is the Garden State afterall, and all the shit/sewage goes to good use as fertilizer for that plant life.

Jacobin said...

How can New Jersey seriously claim to be the Garden State when it is the only state where every single county is considered "urban?"

Didn't George Carlin say something about it's the Garden State only if you're growing smoke stacks?

BenJah said...

i live in the middle of a 9 thousand acre federal wildlife preserve. the only trash we have is what NY and PA dump in the rivers that end up on our side of the bridges.

as for needles, dispose of them properly doc corey, and you wont have to see them on our beaches.

BenJah said...

and for the record:

anna benson is from atlanta, georgia.

Bob D said...

Benjah, you must live near me as I live on the East side of that Pinelands. The only trash we have is from all of those NY'ers who bring it down here. Some of those PA slobs are not too bright either.

BenJah said...

sorry, bob d, i live in north jersey....morris county.

can't hate on nj too much.....what about the 'new jersey reverse'?? eh?? oh, maybe PA women don't know about that move. too bad, fellas

Skeeter said...

haha, wow, I just checked todays post and comment section out and was able to read all of the hate going on. Mostly Jersey hate, which I am used to by now, so it's ok.

I want to add a few things:

- I never trashed the blog. It is an amazing site even if two dude-lovers run it...not that there is anything wrong with that.

- I bet Corey has been to the Jersey Shore, and although he won't admit it, he has had a great time and probably banged one of these "Jersey Skanks" on the beach...then later realized he contracted Herpes. It happens to the best of us buddy.

- The "Garden State" confuses me too. Although my mother did have a lovely garden in our backyard growing up.

- But mostly I want to end with this... All in all, Pennsylvanians and New Jersyians (Spelling?) really are fond of each other but they just won't admit it. But the one thing we can all admit is this: FUCK NEW YORK, especially the godamn Mutts....fucking chokers!

BenJah said...

what to go, skeeter. make peace by identifying the common enemy.

Ethan Michaels said...

By the way, I'm just starting a new blog.

http://modernrooters.blogspot.com/

Check it out if you've got some time and let me know if you'd want to exchange links.

BloodStripes said...

The Phillies just signed Chad Durbin. Thats two Durbins!

Corey said...

bloggign about chad durbin now...

and yes, skeeter, fuck new york. and good job taking their football teams...

BloodStripes said...

Fuck the USA...
Fuck Australia...
Fuck religion...
Fuck politics...
Fuck the lot of you!!!

Now thats off my chest. Maybe Durbin would be good in the bullpen.

GM-Carson said...

Skeeter- good point...Fuck New York!

charles said...

jersey skank.