Last year Scrooge McCorey went bah-humbug all over the blog in his version of the 12 Days of Baseball. Corey makes it no secret that he detests Christmas- the presents, the carols, the decorations, the festivities...all of it. Me, I'm the polar opposite, as I'm overly enthusiastic in terms of the Holiday Season. We're like the Ying & Yang that helps balance the blogsphere. Anyway, a year has past and I feel it's time to update last year's edition, so here's Santa Carson's rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas.
On the 12th day of the season,
the Phillies gave to me...
12 over-produced Jim Thome bobbleheads,
11 painful Freddy Garcia starts,
10 measely rbi from Rod Barajas,
9 errors from Wes Helms at 3rd base,
8 inches of Greg Dobbs' sideburns,
7 straight wins over the Mets,
6 fingers of Alfonseca,
5 Pat Burrell illegitimate kids,
4 walks for Chris Coste,
3 playoff losses,
2 middle fingers for Jose Mesa,
1 Ryan Howard stolen base,
and 0 homeruns from No-Hit Nunez.
Phillies PhastPhorward Phriday:
After being relatively quiet on the player movement front for the past month, Patty G has spiked the eggnog with the signings of Chad Durbin and Geoff Jenkins. In my opinion, the Phils are now 2 Durbins too many, but hey- at least he's insurance for the 5th spot in the rotation. Jenkins is a smart move, despite 2 years and $13 million, as he's a perfect bosom buddy for Jayson Werth in right field. Like an elf in Santa's workshop, Gillick may be done tinkering with the Phillies 2008 roster. I still see room for improvement though, namely in the areas of 3rd base, relief, and 5th spot in the rotation.
1. Jimmy Rollins (S)
2. Shane Victorino (S)
3. Chase Utley (L)
4. Ryan Howard (L)
5. Pat Burrell (R)
6. Geoff Jenkins (L)/Jayson Werth (R)
7. Greg Dobbs (L)/Wes Helms (R)
8. Carlos Ruiz (R)/Chris Coste (R)
Eric Bruntlett and Chris Snelling. Crackhead, Chris Roberson, is left like a booger on your finger- ready to be flicked off.
1. Cole Hamels (L)
2. Brett Myers (R)
3. Kyle Kendrick (R)
4. Jamie Moyer (L)
5. Chad Durbin (R) or Adam Eaton (R)
1. Brad Lidge (R)
2. Tom Gordon (R)
3. J.C. Romero (L)
4. Ryan Madson (R)
5. Clay Condrey (R)
The last 2 spots in the 'pen will be some combo of Chad Durbin, Adam Eaton, JD Durbin, Shane Youman, Mike Zagurski, Travis Blackley, Lincoln Holdzkom, or Fabio Castro. If the bullpen stays this way, I will give Sir Patrick an atomic wedgie so bad that he'll need his underwear surgically removed from his anus.