Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Rectum Award

Corey kicked off the WSBGM's award ceremony with the Barbaro Award, which was jubilantly handed out to Joe Table; and yesterday Manuel was slapped with the "Best Speech of the Year Award". Mesa and Charlie aren't the only Phillies receiving a GM-y this offseason, as Rod Barajas is next in line to be adorned.

Barajas will be graciously accepting the Rectum Award...I heard he got a 25k bonus negotiated into his contract for it. The Rectum Award is given to the Phillie that "Rect-um, damn near killed um". If you can all recall the supposed "defensively gifted" Barajas' display of nonchalantness during a few plays at the plate last season that lead to some dubious outcomes (i.e. Brett Myers prolonged stay on the DL and lost games). Before Rod even put on the Phillies uniform I was labeling him one of the most hated current Phillies, because his signing meant back to th minors for fan favorite Chris Coste. Turns out I was correct in my assessment of him all along, as he never really did anything useful with the stick or behind the plate. Therefore, Barajas was the only player nominated for the Rectum Award and was unanimously voted the poop-eatin' victor.



GM-Carson said...

There is a lot of reports around the Internet and local sports media outlets about the Phils courting of Randy Wolf, so it seems like a forgone conclusion that he will be agreeing to a contract shortly. I know there are better options out there, but for 1 year Wolf is a decent pick up.

Still need relief help and 3rd base and outfield are still cloudy.

Bob D said...

despite the cost, it looks as if Rowand will likely return. I think the Phils will ante up the $$$ for him. It just makes sense to resign him. If they take an Andruw Jones or a few of the others, the Phils give up a 1st round pick since they were one of the top 15 teams. If the White Sox pick up Rowand the Phils get a sandwich pick and a 2nd round pick - thus they lose out in the draft. It just make great sense to bring him back.

GM-Carson said...

You might think it makes "sense" to bring Rowand back, but it's going to be for a ludicrous amount of "cents". Rowand will not duplicate last season, and signing him long term for big money is foolish. I think he will be productive another 2-3 seasons, and even that is not a given. His track record does not suggest greatness, but that's what kind of contract he is demanding.

SirAlden said...

One day we will be cheering GM Gillick for the what He got for eating Jim Thome's contract.

WE got Fence-Face's best season of his career, that was crucial in the run for the NL East title.

We got a spot for Ryan Howard to play, so in effect we got Ryan Howard.

NL East Title with Rowand's help - Check
Ryan Howard - Check
Fabio Castro Model Dictator - Check
Type A Sandwich Pick for Rowand - Check
Type A 2nd Round Pick for Rowand - Check
"Throw is harder like a man you fag" Floyd off the team - Check
and possibly
Type B Sandwich Pick for Garcia - Check if we have Poker Nerves and offer him Arbitration in the next 3 days.

Not to often you can have 6 or 7 Checks with one trade.

GM-Carson said...

Personally I think Gillick got rump-pounded in the Thome trade. We're still paying Jimbo to hit bombs for the ChiSox next season...ridiculous!

Jacobin said...

All this talk about rump pounding, rectums, eating feces, and wasted salary... and no mention of David Bell to this point?

GM-Carson said...

Jacobin- sure smells like that fairy David Bell to me! Damn feathery hair and aching back.

Jacobin said...

I understand Mr. Bell is spending his time out of baseball by detecting testicular cancer in other men by putting their balls in his mouth.

SirAlden said...

The Tarp

Jimmie Rollins a Warrior

And from CourierPostOnline

One More OUT

Steve takes it in the Balls for the Phillies

SirAlden said...

Ok lets keep Thome.

No NL East Title No Rowand - UnCheck
No Ryan Howard Traded to the Pirates - UnCheck
No Fabio Castro Model Dictator - Un Check
No Type A Sandwich Pick for Rowand - UnCheck
No Type A 2nd Round Pick for Rowand - UnCheck
"Throw it harder like a man you fag" Floyd is on the team - UnCheck

and no possible
Type B Sandwich Pick for Garcia - UnCheck if we have Poker Nerves and offer him Arbitration in the next 3 days.

7 unchecks and 20 million more expended.

We save 10 Million on Garcia and Expend 30 Million more on Thome so we had no cash for Lohse or Iguchi etc. (20 million more expended)

SirAlden said...

No Ryan Howard Bobblehead Doll - UnCheck.

SirAlden said...

Great link from Baseball Musings, it talks about how Roger Clemens studies what kinds of pitches different umpires call for strikes consistently.

GM-Carson said...

The reason I dislike the Thome trade is because the Phils ate and are still eating so much of his contract. I understand paying some of it since Thome was coming off of an injury, but the man had been a rock solid producer for years and then 1 injury drops his value? I think Gillick could have paid less and possibly gotten more in the trade.

furiousBall said...

I hope we resign Rowand, he's a good ballplayer and his batting stance makes me wonder if he crapped himself

GreggyD said...

What worries me is the number of zeroes that are going to be on Rowand's contract along with the number of years. We all know that Rowand had a career year last year and I don't know if he will ever top that effort again. I definitely like his hard nosed attitude and the leadership that he brings to the clubhouse, but if his offensive production slips, we will all be wondering why we shelled out so much cash for an someone that we're stuck with for several more years. I can hear the complaints rolling in already, just like they have done with Burrell for years now.

GM-Carson said...

Do I want Rowand back? Yes, but...

I would only want him back for a 3 year contract at no more than 10 mil a season. This means as a GM I would be unable to sign him based on his contract demands in terms of money and years.

Almost everyone agrees Fence-Face is a hustler and plays the game the way it's meant to be played. All indications are that he's a great clubhouse pressense too. These are great qualities, but giving 5-6 years at 70+ mil is just plain stupid in my opinion. It would help short term, but most likely really be a bitch in the long term.

SirAlden said...

It was a huge injury with 10s of millions of dollars still owed...

If he had come back the next year and been unable to over come it, the Phillies would have had to have eaten the whole contract...

It was a balance between a salary dump and a trade... pay half price get some talent, going out into the future it may be a steal.

If there was anyone knocking down the door do you think he would not have talked to them?

Ryan said...

What about offering something similar to offer made to Mike Lowell to Mr. Rowand, 4 years 48 million?

GreggyD said...

Rowand will want more years and more money than the team offered Lowell, especially since Torii Hunter set the market value so high when he signed with the Angels.

Chris said...

Wheels has his say on the addition of Tom McCarthy!!!

BloodStripes said...

How can someone like Rowand knock back a 4 year 48 million dollar deal or something similar? Is a mil or two really gonna change his life? What about people like us with real jobs earning peanuts compared to that? We are the ones keeping our respective countries afloat. I am sure Rowand works very hard to be the player he is and I really like watching him bust his arse on the field but for fucks sake millionare boy sign with a contender! Sign with the phucken Phillies!!!! Whatever happens you are rich so sign up dickhead!!!

BloodStripes said...

Excuse my outburst but this salary shopping is a joke. Millions of Americans and Aussies work their arses off for 40, 50 years and still die poor due to shit pay and whatever else. If Rowand likes Philly and wants to play on a contending team then he should stay in Philly even if it means a few mil less. Instead of 8 houses and 10 cars maybe he could go without a Ferrari or two and just sign with the Phightin's.

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