Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Thirsty Thursday

Time for a new weekly segment titled "Thirsty Thursday," where I compare some of our favorite Phillies/Pirates with beer. I'll roll one or two out a week, but since it is the first post, I'm going for the trifecta. [I should do a six-pack, but I don't feel like typing that much.] Here we go.

Ryan Howard / Delirium Tremens - Delirium Tremens (DT) is a Belgian beer that was voted Best Beer In The World at the 1998 World Beer Championship, only 9 years after its introduction to the market, not unlike Howard's MVP award in only his first full season. And this sort of quality doesn't come cheap, as a case of DT will run you a pretty penny and Howard's after-arbitration contract will likely be the richest in Phillies history. Not only is DT tasty, it is a strong Belgian ale, checking in at 8.5% alcohol. It gets its name from the episodes of shaking, confusion, disorientation and agitation that can result from alcohol withdrawl, symptoms which often afflict pitchers when Howard steps into the box.

Adam Eaton / Budweiser - When I was in London, all the young, white-collar yuppies were drinking bottles of Bud at 4 or 5 pounds a bottle while passing up the 2 pound pints of ale and bitter. Talk about absolute and relative overpricing and stupids suckers willing to pay for it. That about sums up Adam Eaton as a Phillie. Moreover, Anheuser-Busch uses rice to brew the beer because it's cheap, and the resulting product often leaves its drinkers with a headache and sick feeling in their stomach. Sound like an Adam Eaton start to anyone????

Abraham Nunez / Coors Light - This was probably the easiest comparison of any. Girls Light and it's minuscule amount of flavor and alcohol is by far the weakest of all beers. No punch. No power. Like Nunez, it is worthless to have around, yet mysteriously, it's at every bar you go to and people still pay money for the stuff. Paying $2 million for Nunez when a league minimum utility player gives you the same production is the same as buying Coors Light when it comes out of the sink/faucet for free. Someday people will just drink O'Douls instead, and someday Nunez will be gone from the Phillies.
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Game Recap
I guess I can't call him Kyle Lohse-r, as the Phillie newbie had a respectable game and picked up his first win for the good guys. Fence-Face provided the power, Iguchi had two more hits, and Myers struck out the side in the ninth for the save. Overall, a pretty satisfying game.

I don't watch enough Florida Marlins games to even pretend to have an answer to the question, "What the hell is wrong with Dontrelle Willis?" On a cursory glance, he seems to have good velocity and good movement with his slider, but is wildly inconsistent. It also looked at times like it was a chore for him to go out there and throw, a far cry from the excited, emotional pitcher we've seen in the past. Like I said, I don't know what is wrong with Willis, but maybe the Marlins should consider hiring Joe Kerrigan to work with him. He relates well to struggling young pitchers...

Corey

39 comments:

das411 said...

Ahem.

--two more hits for Jayson Werth tonight, eh?--

GM-Carson said...

Das411- it's like you root for the shittiest players on the team. You always hype the bullpen when they actually do well 1 out of every 9,734 times, and now you're praising Jayson Werth. What gives? Sure, I'm glad the bullpen doesn't blow every lead and I'm glad Werth is playing decent right now, but they've let us down many times in the past and will probably continue to do so pretty directly again.

Corey- I love this new installment. We've now got Thrusday and Phriday covered with beer and old timers...sweet!

GM-Carson said...

By the way, just like Coors-Lite, Abe Nunez is the watered-down version of a Major League Baseball player.

GM-Carson said...

On the post-game wrap-up, Mitch Williams had this to say on intentional walks:

"I hated intentional walks. Heck, give me a shot at him...50/50 chance I'm gonna walk him anyway."

That's just classic!

BloodStripes said...

Mitch. Too good!

Beer and baseball. Great combination.

Phillies are dominating Florida at home. Keep it going next game boys while NY and Atlanta slug it out. A sweep now would be big.

BenJah said...

i think willis is still ok, but the league has seen him now and he needs to mix up his pitches better. pure stuff will only get you by for so long before you actually have to learn to pitch. couple that with playing on a lousy team with no future, and it's not really a surprise that he's struggling.

phillies and beer....does that make moyer and yuengling a team?? the oldest brewery, really good, but simple.

Jacobin said...

I love that we're taking it to the Marlins thus far, but despite Gillick's "3 and 3" comment it will not be anywhere near okay to sweep the fish and then get swept by the Braves. The Atlanta series looms large, and we have to seize the opportunity to put the Braves behind us rather than get pushed further under the water this far into the season.

GM-Carson said...

We're getting lucky in the Braves series this weekend, because Hudson and Smoltz won't be pitching against us. Taking 2 out of 3 is crucial and a sweep would be sweet!

D-Train still has the ability to be a very good pitcher, his focus is just all over the place right now, it's like he has ADHD out there.

GreggyD said...

It's pretty bad when a pitcher goes to intentionally walk someone and the throw to the catcher goes far astray. Dontrelle Willis is the constant talk on the trading block every season..."Will he get traded or not?" I personally think he will snap out of this funk which has him 0-9 in his last 13 starts, but I have to wonder, was Dontrelle really THAT good or were hitters just so baffled by his windup, delivery, and slider? It looks like hitters have figured him out, and he's not having fun on the mound at all anymore. He seems like he's forcing pitches as if the game is riding on every one of them.

Doesn't bother me though...one more win for the Phils!!!!!

Corey said...

very funny you compare moyer and yuengling, i made an almost complete list yesterday and that was the first thing i thought of for moyer. premium, not lager though.

Corey said...

ahem - if the season ended today, jayson werth's average of .267 would be the highest of his career. what an extraordinary talent.

i admire your "no player left behind" approach to player support, das411. letting crappy players know they are crappy is probably not good for their self esteem. while most people rock utley or howard jerseys, i'm sure you look good in your david montgomery, danny sandoval, and ed wade memorabilia.

my only question, is how do you find time to watch the phillies in the midst of a compelling wnba season, as its extreme crappiness must have crack-like control over you?

oh, and barry bonds took steroids.

Jarex said...

From the diary of Charles F. Manual (a little Frostian, if I dare say):

Right now it's not
early;
matter of fact,
it's getting late.

Corey said...

poignant. add manuel to the long list of great american writers - emerson, hemingway, jack handy...

GM-Carson said...

Love me some Jack Handy, he has a great collection of deep thoughts.

Jacobin said...

One of my various degrees concerns Literary Criticism, and I must say that adding Charles Fuqua Manuel to the canon of American Literature would be insufferable. Though, in the revisionist tone of canonization that has been rampant in the literary world over the past few decades, it might be en vogue to include him in the canon to give equal representation to retarded hillbilly sports poets.

Let us hope that this season's conclusion is different than the desperate and defeated closing lines of thetalented and depressed T.S. Eliot's The Hollow Men. "Not end with a bang, but a whimper."

GM-Carson said...

Jacobin- you crack me up. I needed a good chuckle, thanks for that.

Jacobin said...

Breaking news...

The Philadelphia Inquirer is reporting:

The Phillies announced today they have acquired infielder-outfielder Russell Branyan from the Cleveland Indians for cash considerations.

General manager Pat Gillick said a move will be made prior to tonight's game to accommodate Branyan on the 25- and 40-man rosters.

Branyan, 31, began the season with San Diego and hit .197 with seven home runs and 19 RBIs in 61 games before being released on July 28. He was signed by Cleveland on August 7 and assigned to triple-A Buffalo, where he appeared in one game.

A left-handed hitter, Branyan has a career average of .229 with 118 home runs and 293 RBI in 688 games for Cleveland (1998-2002), Cincinnati (2002-03), Milwaukee (2004-05), Tampa Bay (2006) and San Diego (2006-07). He has played 284 career games at third base, 149 in left field, 71 in right field and 41 at first base.

Branyan, who will wear No. 4 with the Phillies, has played in the postseason with both Cleveland (2001) and San Diego (2006). In six career playoff games, he has hit .250 (4-16) with one double, one triple and three RBIs.

Jacobin said...

I realise I said the same thing on Beerleaguer about today's pickup, but I thought I'd repeat it here.

I know some of us joke occasionally about trading talents such as Rod Barajas for a bag of warm manure, but it looks like instead of trading a player for that crap we paid some money for it.

Bob D said...

I sense a Wes Helms release into the stratisfear. Makes for a more versatile bench. With Bourn, Victorino, and Utley all due back before the playoffs I believe Gillick is setting this team up with many options for a post season roster. That means a post season roster could jepordize players such as Roberson, Nunez, Werth, Helms, unfortunately Coste, and more likely Barajas. But my bet is Helms goes today.

Maybe David Bell will resign also.

GM-Carson said...

Wow, didn't think we needed Russell Branyan...wait, yep, still don't think we need him. I hope he does well since Patty G went out and got him, but really he's no better than anything we've already got. He has power, but barely makes contact. I doubt the Phils release Helms because he's under contract for next season too. Probably send Roberson back to the minors because Brayan can play outfield in a pinch. This deal is stupid!

furiousBall said...

I don't get picking up Branyan... he strikes out so much, it's like he thinks he's going to win a prize if he does it enough.

kind of like me and masturbation

said that out loud didn't i?

Corey said...

not sure if this is appropriate, since furisusball brought it up...(pun!}

where the hell does an infielder-outfielder play? is that the positionthe sencond baseman moves into when they put the shift on for big papi/thome/howard/etc?

branyan is a great move...for me to poop on!

Frank said...

Speaking of late season acquisitions...

Jamie Moyer: He’s been in Philly for about a year now: 31 starts- and he’s won a whopping 15 of them.

With apologies to Cole Hamels, he’s probably been their best starting pitcher results-wise over that span. And Moyer has gone a long way, along with dumping Abreu’s outrageous contract, to keeping Gillick’s record of player moves from being real questionable.

Corey said...

"...keeping Gillick’s record of player moves from being real questionable." - and that's giving him the benefit of the doubt.

GM-Carson said...

Turns out Branyan's only minor league game with the Indian's (Buffalo) was against Ottawa, and he went 0-4 with 3 k's...ouch...Ottawa sucks...Branyan sucks worse!

When masturbation loses fun, you're f'n lazy!

Jacobin said...

Yeah, I don't see the point in picking this guy up unless they want another never-gonna-make-it 30-something in their minor league system... but since they are going to make a move so he can be on the 25/40 rosters, it seems he will be striking out for the big team.

BenJah said...

wait.....we picked up another useless player?

and there ISN'T a prize for wackin' it???

Jacobin said...

Well, it sucks to lose the game. We need to win the Braves series this weekend... 1-2 or 0-3 just won't cut it.

And, although I haven't seen who is losing a spot on the team because of the Branyan acquisition, it appears from Charlie's comments (and how ingenious they are as usual) that a pitcher will be leaving the big club (Clay Condrey for the sixth time?).

"We need another position player," Manuel said. "Basically, what Russell gives us, he gives us a guy off the bench who can hit the ball out of the ballpark. I think he's also a guy when a manager's sitting over there and he's going to make a move, he'll play a part in his thinking. He strikes out, but at the same time, he's capable of hitting the ball out of the ballpark.

He can hit a home run, or he'll strike out... considering he is a career .112 pinch hitter (and overall was hitting below .200 this season) and applying the Fuqua logic, we should see Branyan strike out 9 times and get a home run on the tenth try. Wow. Sounds like a solid addition.

Bob D said...

This was actually a great move by Gillick. He will strike out so much that the heat will be off Howard and the amount of times he strikesout. We will all forget that.

Maybe Carson will do a Phlashback Phriday tommorow to remind us of someone who struck out alot.

BloodStripes said...

Shithouse move.

GM-Carson said...

Corey and I watched the game together while partaking in some brews and the Arby's 5 for 5.95 deal. Basically, thank goodness for the beer and food, because the game sucked. As soon as we saw Myers in the 9th, each of us said it was a bad idea, and then -boom- 2 runs, lost game...we were right as per usual.

BloodStripes said...

Depressing loss. It was tough.

Good thing you had some beers and good company.

As usual we are looking for Hamels to bring us a win after a loss. Speaking of Hamels. Phantasy league bro. Check it.

BloodStripes said...

There is an email in there somewhere as well mate.

GM-Carson said...

Gas-Can Geary was sent down to Ottawa to make room for Russell Branyan on the 25 man active roster and Zach Segovia was designated for assignment to make room on the 40 man roster. Branyan isn't worth losing Segovia over. Segovia is nothing special, but Branyan is anti-special.

BloodStripes said...

Haha.....anti-special. I like it.

I'm not defending Branyan but to give him the benefit of the doubt with the strikeouts. As a pinch hitter you are up there to swing. He may get fooled but at least he is swinging. Anyway, Segovia has future right? He's a keeper for the farm.

GM-Carson said...

Forget Russell Branyan's career .229 average, forget that he's struck out 734 in only 1827 at bats, but do not forget that his career pinch-hitting avearge is an Abe Nunez-like .112. That's no typo, point one one two is his average as a pinch hitter...un-f'n-belieavable that we actually want this loser on our bench.

BloodStripes said...

A buck twelve. Now that is crap. Exceedingly crap. A few more AB's and he'll be hitting a half dollar. Yeah....real good move Phils.

GM-Carson said...

Don't get me wrong, I hope Branyan's comes up big with the Phils and has some clutch pinch-hits or even maybe a good start or two at 3rd base, I just don't see it happening. This pick-up makes no sense to me at all. If I were GM, I would have passed on Branyan. I would have never signed Nunez, Barajas, Eaton, and Werth either.

BloodStripes said...

Maybe the Phillies know something we don't. Lets hope he gets a few hits.