Monday, August 20, 2007

Phillies Make Me Crazy

A man with spare time is a dangerous thing. A Phillies fan with a blog of his own and spare time is almost scary. Without further ado, I bring to you...

All right stop collaborate and listen.
GM-Carson is back with my brand new edition.
Phillies got a hold of me tightly,
Seem to be losing both daily and nightly.
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know.
We do have a manager that is a bit slow.
To the extreme I rock a keyboard like a vandal.
Light up a monitor and wax Gillick like a candle.
Rant, go rush to the stadium and boo.
They're killing playoff dreams like a poisonous mushroom.
Deadly when you hear Nunez's at bat melody.
Better hope Myers doesn't commit another felony.
Love 'em or leave 'em, Alfonseca keeps gaining weight.
You better close your eyes, because some of them can't play.
If there was a problem, Yo I'll solve it.
Check out the hook while DJ Corey revolves it.

We should be GM's baby...too true, too true!

The Phillies make me crazy, that's the only explanation I can offer for this.

~Carson

42 comments:

GM-Carson said...

From Yahoo Sports- Shane Victorino went 1-for-4 Monday night with Class-A Lakewood in his first rehab game. Victorino, who is rehabbing a strained right calf, is expected to play at least one more game with Lakewood.

GM-Carson said...

The Walking Wounded from Phillies.com-
• Chase Utley has been given clearance to increase his workout routine, including swinging the bat. Utley received clearance after visiting Dr. Randall Culp today.
How much swinging will depend upon the tolerance level, both comfort and strength of his right hand. In addition, he can increase his throwing program without wearing a splint.

When he returns to active playing will be determined later in the week.

• LH reliever Mike Zagurski (right hamstring strain) and RH reliever Yoel Hernandez (sore right shoulder) underwent MRI exams today. Results are expected tomorrow.

• C Rod Barajas will continue his rehab assignment with the Lakewood BlueClaws tonight. In his first two games there, Barajas went 4-for-4.

• OF Shane Victorino is also scheduled to play tonight in Lakewood. Rain washed out his assignment yesterday. The BlueClaws are hosting Hickory in a doubleheader tonight, weather permitting.

• Phillies begin a 10-game homestand tomorrow night, three with the Dodgers and Padres and four with the Mets. Attendance is expected to range between 38,000 and 41,000 for each date. For 58 home dates, the Phillies are averaging 38,483, sixth highest in the NL. Home total (2,232,003) ranks seventh.

• The Phillies have had 15 different players on the disabled list at one time or another this season. Of the players who have been on the roster all season, 10 haven't been on the DL: Burrell, Dobbs, Helms, Nunez, Rollins, Rowand, Ruiz, Alfonseca, Hamels and Moyer.

Bob D said...

What happened to Yoel Hernandez that he needs an MRI?

I hear the Mets may be on the verge of getting Jeff Conine.

GM-Carson said...

Other Random Reportings-
Ryan Howard's August- 25 k's .188 average. I am literally laughing looking at Howard's August #'s. It just goes to show how extreme he can be in regards to hot and cold. When he's cold- he can't hit a lick, barely makes contact. When he's hot- bombs away!

The Mets got Jeff Conine for two low level minor leaguers. Mark my words- Conine will haunt us in a Mets series, he always kills the Phils.

Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports is reporting Johnny Damon could be traded to the Phils this offseason. At first I say "NO WAY!" He's certainly on the downside of his career and makes a ton of money. But what if the Yanks pay most of his contract? Then I'd still politely say "No Thanks" unless he regrew the beard.

Bob D said...

Rather keep Rowand than have Damon, or have Bourn in CF than have Damon and use the $$$$$$ on a bullpen.

Bob D said...

Hernandez was placed on the DL and Fabio "Model Dictator" Castro was recalled.

Good news: it is possible that Victorino and Utley could be back this weekend at the earliest. Victorino is the most likely to be back while Utley is still a little questionable. However, Bourn is not likely back till at least Sept 1 at the earliest.

Jacobin said...

The Damon thing is total speculation based off of someone figuring the Phillies will need a centerfielder after the Yankees grossly overpay Aaron Rowand this offseason.

GM-Carson said...

It's unbelievable the amount of injuries the Phillies players have been sustaining lately. I don't really care about some (Barajas, Eaton, Zag, Yoel), but others truly do hurt (Vic, Ut, Bourn).

I'm glad the Model Dictator is back, because it's time for him to dominate again.

SirAlden said...

Take Damon if the Yankees pay 100% of his contract, we put him on the bench as the 4th outfielder,

and.......!

His wife is forced to be a Ballgirl...!

http://www.espn.go.com/media/pg3/2005/0402/photo/damon6_500.jpg

SirAlden said...

FABIO WILL LEAD US TO THE PENNANT!

SirAlden said...

25-14 here we go!

90 Wins Baby.

90 Wins.

michael said...

bob d, to answer your question yoel has a strained shoulder. yeah i heard that johnnny damon "rumor" its pretty obvious its made up. but i definately don't want him if it was 2000 and we were getting him great but you just look at his stats and health the last 2 years to see how much of a decline he is going through. sorry no thanks.

Maximis said...

Beautiful song.

I am just surprised that Jeff Conine is on a team that isn't Florida or Baltimore. Me and my friends once had a running conversation that if you ever lost Conine in the MLB ask yourself: Is he on the Marlins? If the answer was no then he was on the Orioles by default.

But yes, he is nasty against the Phils.

Maximis said...

By the way the Eagles cut Jeremiah Trotter today...how does everyone else feel about this?

Maria said...

I can't believe they cut him. Press Conference at 1:30. I guess on a 55 man roster, they couldn't find one spot for him.

Padre and Mets play each other today. Who to root for? Division or wildcard?

Jacobin said...

Okay, this is a baseball blog! That being said, I was pretty stunned by the cutting of Trotter. But what do I know? It's hard to argue with the Eagles considering the success they've had over the last seven or eight years, but once again they seem to want to go with undersized middle linebackers.

But back to more important things... there have a lot of real and unfortunate injuries on the Phillies this year, but does anyone really think the Eaton and Barajas stints on the DL would have happened had either of them not been playing like shit?

Maria said...

I think the Eaton injury was completely made up. they needed a reason to get him out of the starting rotation and have JD Durbin replace him.

Jacobin said...

I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but in 2005 at this point in the season the Phillies were sitting with a 65-58 record and were 4.5 games out of first and 0.5 games out of the wild card lead. Where are we today? ...sitting with a 65-58 record, while being 5 games out of first and 1 game out of the wild card. History repeats itself?

GM-Carson said...

E-A-G-L-ah, who gives a shit? I care about the Phils, F' the Eagles (for now).

Eaton's injury screams "fictious", but I'm ok with that. Barajas may have really been injured, but once again I don't really care.

Persoanally I'm rooting for the Wild Card because catching the Mets will be damn near impossible, but truly we just need to win and stop losing to shitbags like Pittsburgh and Washington.

GM-Carson said...

I can't believe nobody mentioned that ultra-gay picture of a Cory Carson cd. I looked up "Corey & Carson" via a Google search, and this jazz douchebag musician was one of the links it gave me. We're way cooler than him!

Bob D said...

Carson, to jazz musician fans Corey Carson is way cooler. But to us Phillie bloggers we like this site much better.

Eagles? Are you talking about a baseball team here? And this Trottier guy better be a pitcher.

Wonder if this game will be played with this rain.

Maximis said...

Ok, point taken. No more mention of the Eagles.

Hopefully if the game isn't rained out in Philly the boys wont pull another Sunday Performance in which they get 8 runs scored on them in one inning right before a rain delay.

Los said...

Those are some fresh lyrics you laid down there!

Sid Fernandez thinks that Alfonseca is fat.

Maria said...

How many times must we load the bases with no outs and not score a single run? (after Pat's walk)

And who's going to pitch tomorrow?

GM-Carson said...

Phils barely hanging on to the 5-4 lead. Kendrick has pitched ok, but has given up some meat-balls. The Phils offense should have way more than 5 runs, they're stranding too many guys on base tonight, and it'll probably come back to bite us on the butt.

I don't mind Eagles talk. I was just joking around. I do hate the E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles chant at a baseball game. I yet at the nutsacks who do it.

GM-Carson said...

This injury to Cole has me frightened. He can't go on the DL, if so we're totally screwed!

GM-Carson said...

I wish this ump would call some f'n strikes that the Phils pitchers pitch. Quit squeezin' us a-hole!

GM-Carson said...

Once again Charlie Manuel making too many pitching changes. These guys aren't horrible pitchers, but if you constantly keep rolling the dice with them nearly every game of course they're going to falter be sheer law of percentages. Leave Kendrick in or if you really need to take him out then leave Mesa in, but nope, we're on to our 3rd pitcher of the f'n inning already! I hate Manuel, he uses reliever like they have replaceable LEGO arms...stupid bastard!

Maria said...

Charlie Manuel can not manage a game. He brings in Mesa to pitch to Furcal and he ends up walking him anyway. Might as well have left Kyle Kendrick in there. He wasting pitchers, just trying to get one out.

GM-Carson said...

This rain is ridiculous right now. They need to call a rain delay, this is bullshit that these teams are still on the field.

GM-Carson said...

This is why I feel like punching people in the face when the defend Manuel. I can understand if they don't actually watch the games and simply look at the Phils record and all the injuries they have, but I do watch nearly every game and the man constantly over-uses his bullpen, or tinkers around too much. I HATE CHARLES FUQUA MANUEL!!!

Maria said...

He looks like a smart manager when his dumb moves work.

Maria said...

Depending on results, Cole could miss about 3 weeks/4 starts.

This is the second worst injury the Phillies could have.

Bob D said...

At least someone agrees that making so many pitching changes is just dumb. Rumor has Utley in Lakewood this weekend and Victorino in Philly this weekend. Also Bourn a week away from a Rehab assignment and Zagurski out for the season with Madson back for the last week.

Jacobin said...

Ryan Howard steals second base... how pathetic is the Dodger's catcher to not throw him out? What's next, Pat Burrell swiping home?

An injury to Cole Hamels means we'll be seeing Gavin Eaton sooner than anyone would like. This f'ing sucks.

Bob D said...

Durbin to start tommorow. Hamels thing may only be "dead arm" and not an injury at all. They will know more after an MRI tommorow.

Bob D said...

BTW Maxims,I was just kidding about the Eagles comments

Bob D said...

The Howard steal was awesome - element of surprise - and it was all off the pitcher as he was halfway to second by the time the pitcher threw the ball.

Jacobin said...

Victorino is expected back this week, Utley might be back by next week, but the word on Bourn is another two to three weeks...

Why'd the frigg'n Mets have to have a ninth inning comeback tonight? I hate those bitches.

das411 said...

...who needs Cole Hamels when you have JAYSON WERTH???

Bob D said...

Now they say Vic may be back for the next game (Wednesday)??? Go figure - I guess if Hamels gets put on DL

Jay said...

OH no he didn't!!!

Please never EVER EVER do Vanilla Ice AGAIN!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Linking your blog on mine shortly.