It's 3:30 Sunday morning and I can't sleep following a horribly crappy Phillies loss. Needless to say, I'm full of ideas...
*Send Tom Gordon back to the DL and keep him there. We don't need him, I don't want him! He's nothing but a washed-up piece-of-sh*t collecting 7 million dollars. Phillies.com has the headline "Bullpen lets one slip away"...I beg to differ, Tom Gordon gave one away because he f'n sucks! Last night was only his 15th game of the season, but already his 4th blown save.
*Replace our manager's, Charles Fuqua Manuel, brain with someones that isn't clinically retarded. Cole Hamels had only 89 pitches through 7 innings, but Manuel felt the strong need to pinch-hit No-Hit Nunez for him. Nuni's pinch-hitting stats as a Phillie: 1-15 in '07 and 5-39 in '06, which equals an utterly abysmal 6-54 (.111 avg) in 2 years as a pinch hitter. Good call Charlie, I personally would have let Hamels bat for himself and pitch the 8th, but then again he may not have made as good of contact that Nunez did in grounding into a double play to end the inning.
*Feed Chris Roberson some food! The kid looks like a crackhead on a hunger strike...seriously lets take him to a Chinese buffet or something and then release him from the organization because he sucks! But wait, who would Manuel bat leadoff then? I know this team has suffered some injuries, but I never thought I'd see the days when Dobbs, Werth, and Roberson were leading off for this offense...what a sick, cruel joke.
*Pull Fence-Face out of his nose-dive. I'm sure Rowand has good diving form being that he has absolutely no shoulders, which makes for a seamless entry into the water with little splash...judges love that, but we need his bat to come back to life as he's 1 for his last 20.
*Prescribe me some sleep medication, because catching some shut-eye is far better than sitting here bitching about this hapless squad.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! You're a bumbling backwood bumpkin inbred retarded moron dumbass piece of rotten donkey dung!