Sunday, August 05, 2007

Full of Ideas

It's 3:30 Sunday morning and I can't sleep following a horribly crappy Phillies loss. Needless to say, I'm full of ideas...

*Send Tom Gordon back to the DL and keep him there. We don't need him, I don't want him! He's nothing but a washed-up piece-of-sh*t collecting 7 million dollars. Phillies.com has the headline "Bullpen lets one slip away"...I beg to differ, Tom Gordon gave one away because he f'n sucks! Last night was only his 15th game of the season, but already his 4th blown save.

*Replace our manager's, Charles Fuqua Manuel, brain with someones that isn't clinically retarded. Cole Hamels had only 89 pitches through 7 innings, but Manuel felt the strong need to pinch-hit No-Hit Nunez for him. Nuni's pinch-hitting stats as a Phillie: 1-15 in '07 and 5-39 in '06, which equals an utterly abysmal 6-54 (.111 avg) in 2 years as a pinch hitter. Good call Charlie, I personally would have let Hamels bat for himself and pitch the 8th, but then again he may not have made as good of contact that Nunez did in grounding into a double play to end the inning.

*Feed Chris Roberson some food! The kid looks like a crackhead on a hunger strike...seriously lets take him to a Chinese buffet or something and then release him from the organization because he sucks! But wait, who would Manuel bat leadoff then? I know this team has suffered some injuries, but I never thought I'd see the days when Dobbs, Werth, and Roberson were leading off for this offense...what a sick, cruel joke.

*Pull Fence-Face out of his nose-dive. I'm sure Rowand has good diving form being that he has absolutely no shoulders, which makes for a seamless entry into the water with little splash...judges love that, but we need his bat to come back to life as he's 1 for his last 20.

*Prescribe me some sleep medication, because catching some shut-eye is far better than sitting here bitching about this hapless squad.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! You're a bumbling backwood bumpkin inbred retarded moron dumbass piece of rotten donkey dung!

~Carson

18 comments:

GM-Carson said...

From a pissed off poster on BeerLeaguer- "I hate Manuel, I hate Montogomery, I hate Gillick, I hate Dubee, Steve Smith and still have lingering hate for Bill Dancy (honestly, is it that hard to find a DECENT 3rd base coach), I hate Ed Wade for screwing us over before Gillick came here and I hate Gillick again for making a pathetic attempt to try and make this team good again. I hate Nunez I don't understand how he is on a major league team right now. I hate Flash Gordon and his horrilbe theme song of saving the universe when he can't even save the game with 3 god damn outs. I hate that Burrell is batting 6th but Chris Roberson is batting 1st. I hate the bullpen. I hate the overuse of the bullpen/ I hate the mismanagement of the bullpen. I hate how every other team in the god damn league seems to have a better bullpen then us. I hate how they waste good efforts from Kendrick and Hamels. I hate Bobby Abreu for being a lazy outfielder and for going to the Yankees for absolutely nothing. I hate how in the Phillies year book somehow Milt Thompson and Charlie Manuel are similar weights...that's bullshit.

I hate life right now.

And now Eaton tomorrow.

I WILL NOW JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. g'nite everyone."

SirAlden said...

Have a cookie, and drink some chocolate milk GM Carson.

After lunch some soft serve with crumbled oreo's and gummy bears in hiding.

Then start drinking, Eaton is Pitching....

GM-Carson said...

I know I'm no MLB manager, but I thought leadoff hitters were supposed to get on base...Chris Roberson has yet to have coaxed a single walk in his career spanning 56 pathetic at bats.

GM-Carson said...

Funny you mentioned cookies SirAlden, as I had some home baked chocalate chips ones with my early morning coffee.

Bob D said...

I thought Roberson was our hero when he went 4-4 on his debut. That qualifies him to leadoff, hey maybe even bat 3rd.

Carson, even I was up at 3AM - but that was because I was working (or better yet - putting in my time) I think I'll go and bake some cookies today.

Los said...

Yeah - that game was a major gut-punch. The Phils left a lot of guys on base, the bullpen (Gordon) was awful - it was a game they should've won easily. Frustrating. So, I heard Manuel got a contract extension. Is this true?

Jacobin said...

I have not heard or seen anything regarding Manuel getting a contract extension. At this point, I would not be surprised if the team would give him an extension (he'll come cheap). But will it matter if they don't bring him back? If Manuel is not renewed, it probably means Jimmy Williams becomes the manager (an upgrade from Charlie? umm... probably, but not much of one). The one thing we could hope for is that they will find a third base coach that doesn't suck.

BenJah said...

the solution for the lineup is so simple you'd have to be retarded NOT to think of it -- which fuqua obviously is: bat iguchi leadoff, with rollins second and move everyone else up. dduuhhhh

this fucking team blows, but the management is worse

Corey said...

the top of the 9th is very un-phillie-like...

BloodStripes said...

Bloody awesome comeback Phillies. Smash these pricks while their down. As long as Fuqua doesn't stuff it up we can win it. GO!!

BloodStripes said...

No bench. Fuqua has already stuffed it up. Cmon Phils!

BloodStripes said...

Who loves Wes Helms now? Wooo, best double he has ever hit for the Phillies.

Finish off these chumps!

das411 said...

ROWAND!!!!!!!!

Clare must be lovin this game! ;)

BloodStripes said...

Awesome Phightin' win. What a nailbiter. Top way to end the trip. Come back home and get on a roll.

Jacobin said...

Unbelievable. To see this team come back from 5 down with 2 out in the top of the ninth was impressive. Adam Eaton deserves a loss for how shitty he pitched today (more of the same), but this team needed a win! It's very strange. Kendrick and Hamels pitched well enough to deserve wins and they didn't get them, and Eaton pitched like shit again and gets out of it without a loss.

Anyone notice that Charlie went with the lineup many of us have been screaming for since Victorino and Bourn went down with injuries?

Bob D said...

You gotta start wondering if they read this blog?

Wonder who will be cut/sent down when the injured come back. Utley, Bourne, Victorino should all be back in about a week or a little more from now. My guess is: Roberson, a RP, and either Nunez or Helms. Most likely Helms will go. Werth, Dobbs, Coste should all be safe. And watch for Barajas to be activated when rosters expand in September.

Jacobin said...

They're carrying 13 pitchers right now, which is too many. I know the bullpen has been poisonous, but the bench is way too short right now. I was surprised that they didn't bring Mateo up when they went with Condrey for the fifth time this year. I guess I don't understand the trade for him if they aren't planning on using him as a AA reliever.

GM-Carson said...

I ended up going to bed at 8 last night and just woke up (6:30)...I needed the extra sleep.

It was nice to win that game, but it's all a little too late in my opinion. They've wasted far too many opportunities this season and it's going to come back and bite them in the hind-end.

So, yippie a win, still lost the series...