I set sail this morning for a week long vacation at the beach, and it couldn't come at a better time with the Phillies causing me nausea with their on-field performance, and the All-Star break is next week and I don't give a flying two-fisted conquistador about it (it doesn't matter!). While I'm out of the office, Corey will be holding down blogging duties, so to our thousands of fans (ok, more like 12), have no fear, you can still get your Phillies fix here. Before I leave I'm going to make some predictions (some bold, some cold) and see which ones are true upon my return.
*The Phillies will ungracefully slip to sub .500, but Manuel will get a vote of confidence from fellow Mensa member Pat Gillick that his job is not in jeopardy.
*No-Hit Nunez will test positive for a performance enhancing drug, because if Neifi Perez is doing stimulants then you know Honest Abe hasn't been so truthful. So watch out Nuni, because urine...oops, I mean you're in a lot of trouble.
*The AL will prevail over the NL in the mid summer classic winning their 42nd All-Star game in a row.
*Ryan Howard will defend his Homerun Derby title and go on a 2nd half tear (sound familiar?).
*Jose Mesa will surrender a run during the All-Star break. If fact, Mesa will be credited with the NL's loss even though he's not on the squad...because he f'n sucks!!!
*Six-Finger-Ant will finally give birth. Get out of me belly!
*Charles Fuqua Manuel (sorry, can't say his full name enough) will make a piss-poor decision that negatively alters the outcome of the game.
*Brett Myers' and Tom Gordon's returns will be delayed yet again...estimated arrival June of 2010, consider them on backorder.
*Pat Burrell will be in the midst of a 23 game hitting streak (already at an astounding 2 games).
*Patty G will acquire some turd torpedo from the waiver crap heap and try to convince fans that said player will make a difference.
*Our bullpen will continue to have less value than a wheat penny.