Sunday, June 03, 2007

What type of Phan are you?

Yesterday I had my punk-card pulled on me by fellow blogger Corey and rightfully so, as he had this to say about my post- "Don't let your bipolar, PMS-like mood swings cloud your vision from the truth that this team and organization, while not perfect, are far from pitiful and far from the worst in the league. There are 13 teams with worse records this year and a win tonight would put them 4th in the NL Wild Card chase with 2/3 of the season to play. This giving up and "throwing in the towel" garbage is bullsh*t." I agree Corey, I ride the highs and lows with extreme emotion, because that's the type of Phan I am, Bi-Polar. Now I pose the questions to all the WSBGM's, what type of Phan are you?

This Phan is angry as hell when something goes wrong (swept by Diamondbacks) and happy as a pig in its own poop when something goes right (swept the Braves). Loves the highs (Howard's MVP) and hates the lows (Gavin Floyd), and is overjoyed at the peaks (2 games above .500) and depressed in the valleys (below .500). Lives and dies with every pitch and swing. Synonyms- reactionary, over-the-top, fanatical, manic, obsessed. Symptoms- frequent head and stomach aches, hoarse throat from yelling, poor sleeping habits, and a family ready for an intervention.

This Phan watches the Phillies for what they are, entertainment. Likes it when they win, but doesn't get overly concerned when they lose, going with the phrase "ya wins some, ya lose some". Synonyms- realistic, rational, down-to-earth, sensible. Symptoms- easy-going enjoyable life not dictated by the outcome of a sporting event.

This Phan is always looking on the bright side of things (we have a solid nucleus of players), seems to find the "silver lining" in everything (Yoel Hernandez dropped his ERA). Doesn't get down when the team is playing poorly, instead stays upbeat and points to the future as a positive (we can still get the Wild Card). Synonyms- a romantic, idealist, buoyant, cheerful, sanguine. Symptoms- smiles, healthy, friendly, and delusional.

This Phan is simply pissed off. So what if Rollins hit 9 homeruns, he's our leadoff man. Moyer is too old. Hamels will get hurt. Charles Fuqua Manuel makes Paris Hilton look like a genius. This Phan is mad no matter what, that is unless the Phils actually manage to get to the postseason. Synonyms- irritated, fuming, heated, livid, un-freakin-happy. Symptoms- high blood pressure, ulcers, lack of friends, bloody knuckles and broken remotes.

What type of Phan are you?
Angry free polls



Jacobin said...

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this quote from Fuqua on the greatness of Hamels because I would have had to clean the laugh-induced spit off the monitor:

"Hamels even makes me a good manager, doesn't he?" Charlie Manuel said.

Fuqua is right! Hamels is so GOOD that he can overcome having Charlie Manuel as a manager. Wow, now that is some high praise.

I had a hard time voting. I think I'm an angry bipolar fan with streaks of level-headedness when I cool down. The one thing I'm not (probably because I was born and raised in the greater Philadelphia region) is a sports optimist.

GM-Carson said...

Honestly- when I'm evaluating players I'm level-headed. During the season I'm bipolar. During spring training I'm an optimist (remember 92 wins predicted?). Generally speaking though, I'm angry.

GM-Carson said...

No-Hit Nunez is back, no hits in his last 14 at bats. It was nice to have Sometimes-Hit Nunez here for a month, but now it's back to the same old bag-of-crap we've come to dislike so much.

Corey said...

nice post.

BenJah said...

that was a good's a tricky question b/c, as jacobin put so well, there's a lot of all of them in us. this site is pretty angry though, but that makes it more fun to read.

maybe gillick shouldn't be such an optimist. maybe we'd do better w/ a GM from the philly area, rather than an old school hack.

GreggyD said...

I don't necessarily think that being bi-polar is a bad thing. I think it's a more realist point of view honestly. If the team sucks, you have every right to be mad and if they're doing well of course you're going to be overjoyed with them.

And just fyi, if anybody is so much of an optimist that they get some sort of silver lining about anything regarding Yoel Hernandez, they need to be smacked upside the head and brought back down to earth.

I ride the Phillies emotional rollercoaster every single season and this time it's no different. Cole Hamels has instilled some hope in me right now and let's hope we can at least salvage the next two games against the Giants and finish this homestand 3-4.

Bob D said...

I sense Greg does not like me when I thought that atleast Hernandez is pitching good and lowered his ERA. Jacobin great quote from Manuel"Hamels even makes me a good manager, doesn't he?".
I will turn either Bi-Polar or Angry if as Greg put it"smacked upside the head and brought back down to earth."

GM-Carson said...

Shane-F*ckin-Victorino baby! That's what I'm talking about. His damn hula doll is getting laid tonight!

Maria said...

Shane Victorino<3333

GM-Carson said...

And we sit at .500 once again. This time I'm happy to get back to levelground. I'm a bipolar Phan through-and-through.

Jarex said...

I suggest a fifth phan option: The Pessimistic Realist (PR), also known as the Realistic Pessimist (RP)

The PR (RP) has been a Phillies fan his/her entire sentient lifetime, meaning, if they are 30 or under, they have never known of the Phillies to have won anything outside of two NL championships (1980 is way too far back to conjure memories); even in these high moments of Phillie-dumb, they, the PR(RP) are returned to the depths of what never was. Therefore, the PR (RP) doesn't get too high when they win three in a row on the road, for this astute Phan realizes that his/her beloved Phillies are only 3 games away from getting swept at home. Furthermore, while the PR(RP) eagerly anticipates each spring training, he/she can be heard by April 10th saying, "This is why I hate baseball."

Jacobin said...

It's awesome that Victorino came through on the day they were giving out his hula doll. I think the greatest moment of the day was watching Molina's reaction to Howard crushing that fat pitch. The ball was still on its way out and Molina was already throwing a phantom punch in disgust.

Nice move by Manuel letting Madson hit for himself. It's amazing how this guy always seems to let relievers in that extra inning so we can watch them give up some runs. Thank God the flyin' Hawaiian ended the game in the bottom of the ninth, because if it went extra innings we would have once again seen Manuel having to use starting pitchers as pinch hitters.

Jacobin said...

One other thing, "Five-Inning" Freddy had no room to bitch when Fuqua lifted him for Zagurski. If he wanted to stay in the game, he should have been making his pitches.

GreggyD said...

I agree with Jacobin. There was no reason for Garcia to get upset. He has not lived up to expectations at all and should be more disappointed with himself then anything. Manuel made the right decision. said...

I'm sooo on board again.

Is there a category for gullible morons?

SirAlden said...

Sanguine. Delusional.

SirAlden said...

Braves lost. Mets lost.

das411 said...

I'm with jarex on this one.

and can we definitively say after today that Victo is just flat out BETTER than that no-talent assclown Bobby Abreu? Leave out the huge huge salary, the outfield arm that one has and the other doesn't, even the clutchitude we saw today, and even beyond all that who would you rather have?

BloodStripes said...

Victory Vic's clutch homer was all-time. Good to see it on hula doll day. Awesome.

When the Phils have a winning record and are playing well I am a Level Headed phan with some optmimism. But when they are crappy and below .500 I get a bit Bi-polar. Sure it can be tough being a Phillies phan but being any kind of fanatic fan can be tough. Its all part of it. Sometimes you wonder why the hell your a fan at all.

GM-Carson said...

I like the gullible moron suggestion.

By the way, at this stage in their careers, I'd much rather have Vic than Bobby.

GM-Carson said...

Priceless quote of the day from Aaron Rowand: "They'll have to hand out leis more often."

*That's KWality!

Brett Myers starts a throwing program most likely today and Tom Gordon played 90 feet catch on Sunday. We need both of them back so we can ixnay Clay Condrey at least.