Monday, June 25, 2007

Starting Options

With Willis and Buerhle too expensive, Carrasco and Happ too inexperienced, and Durbin too crappy, I think the Phils should look to some former staff aces to fill in the back end of the rotation. Here are the guys I think are the best options to make a few starts:

Joe Roa - With long wavy hair parted down the middle and a look that screams "sexual predator," Roa was one of the great Phuccos of the Larry Bowa Era. (He pitched for the Pirates in spring training of '05 and started four games in AAA, that's good enough for me.) Roa posted a respectable 4.04 ERA in '02 for the Phightins and he hasn't pitched since being released by the Pirates, so his arm should be well rested.

Paul Abbott - Abbott was atrocious for Philadelphia in 2004 (1-6, 6.24) but he does have playoff experience with Seattle. Combine seasoned veteran that "knows how to win" (obviously everyone who makes the postseason falls into this category) with the fact that he pitched in Seattle, and you know Gillick would love to sign this guy to start a few.

Carlton Loewer - Remember when Carlton took over mananging The Peacock from Will and charged people to use the bathroom, then used the money to buy a handheld metal detector, "Less flatwear theft means lower prices for you, our valued customer." I love that show. I say bring him back and make him do this dance after every strikeout.

Matt Beech - 53 starts for the Phils, and a 5.37 career ERA. He pitched in the minors with the Rangers, Yankees, Red Sox, Reds and Tigers but never made it back to the show. He has spent the last two years in the independent Atlantic League, winning 7 games for the powerful Bridgeport Bluefish last year. Glad he's been keeping in shape, it's his time to return...

Adam Bernero - This one is a little bit of a stretch, considering that Bernero is property of the Red Sox and will miss all of 2007 after undergoing Tommy John surgery. However, he proved in his one start last year that he has enough dominant stuff to get through 5 innings even without elbow ligaments. The power is in the Amish-like facial hair. Diamond in the rough is only way to describe this fireballer.

Danny Cox - This is the guy I think has the best chance to make a return. Cox pitched for the Phillies in 1992 and sported a hardluck 5.40 ERA. He was released by the Phillies, signed by the Pirates (hello Phucco!), then released again. However, this unappreciated talent and fu-manchu was snatched up by one great GM, as Cox signed a free agent deal with Toronto. Not coincidentally, the Blue Jays won the World Series. That GM: Pat Gillick. Genius.

Gavin Floyd - I think it's time the Phils realize they gave up on Floyd too soon. He's ripping it in AAA (3.22 ERA, 70 K's to 23 walks.) With the Sox interested in Rowand, it may be time to reaquire the Bulldog.
Love Triangle
After seeing Carson's glowing report and picture with Jayson Stark, Chris Wheeler may be a little jealous...



Corey said...

i'm reposting this from yesterday, because it's funny and was posted late in the day. it deserves to be at the top of the comments:

Jacobin said...

Here's my imagined conversation in the Phillies front office regarding the need for a starting pitcher:

Rube Amaro Jr.: With the donut eater out, we really need another starter.
Fatty Arbuckle: What about putting Myers back into the rotation?
Patty G.: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) What, admit we were wrong to put him in the pen?
Rube Amaro Jr.: Yeah, we know more than the fans. And we're always right. What about brining someone up from the farm system?
Fatty Arbuckle: Shit, you nuts? The farm system is a mess. We've been calling kids up from AA.
David Montgomery Burns: It's too expensive to fly them in from Ottawa. It only costs us $20 to buy a bus ticket from Reading for the last two guys we called up.
Fatty Arbuckle: Who the hell ran the farm system into the ground anyway?
Rube Amaro Jr.: *cough*cough*
Fatty Arbuckle: Shit... never mind. We didn't have draft picks to stock the system with anyway. Really, who can blame me... not my fault.
Patty G: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) Zzzzz.... zzzz... zzzz...
Rube Amaro Jr.: Oh, it's the old man's nap time. Damn. PAT!! PAT!!! WAKE UP!
Patty G: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) Eh? Wha... Cito, is that you?
Fatty Arbuckle: Well, can't we trade for someone? How about Dontrell or Buehrle?
Rube Amaro Jr.: Who'd we trade for them? Marlins will want minor league prospects, last time I checked we don't have any of those.
Patty G: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) The White Sox really want Joe Carter back.
Rube Amaro Jr.: You mean Rowand.
Patty G: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) Oh yeah, him too. Keep forgetting I'm with the Orioles now.
Fatty Arbuckle: Maybe we could package Rowand...
David Montgomery Burns: Okay, give the White Sox a call and see what you can *GASP* *CHOKE* [he grabs at his throat]
Darth Vader, dark servant of the Gang of Seven Ownership Group: You will not take on salary. Don't fail me again, David Montgomery.
David Montgomery Burns: No trades for high paid pitchers!
Rube Amaro Jr.: Guess that means we'll call someone up from the minors.
Fatty Arbuckle: Reading is really tapped out. We could get someone from Ottawa, they're in Columbus right now.
David Montgomery Burns: That should be a pretty cheap Greyhound ticket, so what if it takes three or four days, we don't need anyone until Friday.
Rube Amaro Jr.: Who should we call up? J.A. Happ or J.D. Durbin?
Patty G: (on the phone from his home in Seattle) When I was a boy, my father wore a derby when he would drive us in the carriage to see the newfangled electric lights. Ha! How do they do such magic?
Fatty Arbuckle: Okay, Durbin it is.

Corey said...

confirmed. JD Durbin named as one of the starters for the twin bill against the Mets on Friday.

GM-Carson said...

Nice walk down memory lane Corey. And I'm digging the ambigously gay duo pic of me and're truly a great friend.

Remember how Joe Roa used to take of his cap and shake his hair out after every pitch...oh, so gay!

Jacobin- that was a great imaginary conversation. You may have just earned the right to do a few guest pieces on here this winter.

GreggyD said...

I couldn't believe that no one had recognized Jacobin's pure genius last night when I read it. Several comments had been left right after his with no recognition. He definitely has earned some guest pieces.

As for this little trip down memory lane, I enjoyed it very much. I remember listing a bunch of names earlier this season and going back and forth a bit with Carson about pitchers we should bring back. It's good to know everyone seems to enjoy recalling our favorite Phillies starters of all time.

GM-Carson said...

GreggyD- I don't know if I would call them "favorite Phillie starters of all-time" because that list would include the likes of Curt Schilling, Steve Carlton, Danny Jackson, Robin Roberts, Jim Bunning, and others along those lines. But it is fun to banter about these no-talent ass-clowns that once graced the field as a Phillie.

Bob D said...

OK we will not call them favorite but we will use the term 'memoriable'.

Jacobin must have bugged the Phils front office to get that valuable and accurate information. I bet there are conversations like that approx. 3 times a week in that room. Probably done over a box of creme filled.

GM-Carson said...

Thank goodness Jacobin didn't include Charlie Manuel in that coversation, because we wouldn't understand what the hell he was saying between the stuttering and hick speak.

michael said...

bring back the duck pond!

GreggyD said...

I am sorry that you did not pick up on the sarcasm of my comment when I said "our favorite Phillie pitchers." I am not the Ray Didinger of the Phillies, but I know that Dave Coggin, Joe Roa, and Carlton Loewer do not even come close to being mentioned with the names Steve Carlton, Robin Roberts, and Jim Bunning. Come on Carson, give me a little credit.

Yes, these pitchers are "memorable." They bring back the memories which cause us to smack ourselves and say "Good Lord, we should be GM's."

Jarex said...

In all seriousness (sorry, but I can't help thinking this thought for the last few days):

1) who on the Phillies current ML roster would they trade; and

2) who on the Phillies current ML roster is tradeable?

Would you move Victorino?

Jacobin said...

Today's post was great. The pic with Carlton dancing is an instant classic. I'd almost pay money to see Fuqua do that dance while on his way to the mound to change pitchers.

If another starter goes down with an injiury, I won't be surprised when they send Dallas Green out looking for Amanda Whurlitzer to step in as a starting pitcher and save the season. When Gillick said he didn't see this team contending until 2008, I had not realized that he was using precognition to divine the future to know that his bullpen moves would suck and that the starting six would turn into the starting three.

Bob Ford has a great line regarding the search for a fifth starter in his piece today in the Inquirer: The fifth starter? Right now it's righthander J.D. Durbin from the Ottawa Lynx. Forget complete games. They can't even find a guy with a complete first name.

And thanks for reposting my comment from yesterday. I'm happy to do whatever I can do to further the cause.

GM-Carson said...

GreggyD- I knew you were kidding. Hell, some of my "favorite" Phillies actually sucked or weren't around to do much for too long (Wes Chamberlain, Rick Schu, Steve Jeltz).

GM-Carson said...

This is the reliever I wanted to take a chance on instead of Jose Mesa- (From FoxSports) Lugging a duffel bag with the Memphis Redbirds logo, new Cardinals reliever Troy Percival came as hurriedly from the airport to Shea Stadium Monday as he did out of retirement to the big leagues. Percival, a former All-Star closer, will be activated today for the Cardinals, just a few weeks shy of the two-year anniversary of his last pitch in the majors. Percival made six appearances in 12 days for the Cardinals' Class AAA affiliate. The righthander got better with each outing, finishing with a 1.35 earned-run average and nine strikeouts over 6 2/3 innings. He said his fastball hit 95 mph in his scoreless inning Sunday.

Paul Lo Duca was adamant that he didn't want the suspension to keep him out of the four-game series against the Phillies that begins Friday but, according to one baseball official, the Mets might consider that the ideal time for him to serve it. The series begins with a day-night doubleheader and Lo Duca would almost certainly not catch both ends of it. If he dropped his appeal right before those games and began serving the ban, he would be missing the doubleheader but only one game that he would've started.

*Let him play, and hopefully one of our pitchers drills him in his earhole for that bullshit gay-ass dance and bat flip he did when we swept their asses in NY.

GreggyD said...

*Let him play, and hopefully one of our pitchers drills him in his earhole for that bullshit gay-ass dance and bat flip he did when we swept their asses in NY.

Thank you Carson for speaking on behalf of this great city. I think we are all in agreement with this opinion. Let him suit up so the pitchers can get at him and he can feel our wrath as the best fans in this country.

On another note, damn I wish we would have tried a little harder for Percival.

Bob D said...

Percivical only throws 95, we couldn't take him - he would make the other acquisitions look bad: Mesa, Rosario, Alfonseco, and a few others.

Hey I'll be at the game tonight - I'll be the one wearing the Phillies t-shirt

Jacobin said...

I was trying to find out how much the Cardinals are paying Percival because I figured the reason why the Phillies went with Mesa instead is because of how cheap Mesa is to them (about $250,000 -- note that Mesa's salary is $2.5M but because of how his release and subsequent pickup went, the Phils are only responsible for a prorated amount of the veteran minimum).

Unfortunately, I did not find Percival's salary information. However, I did notice that Pat Burrell's $13.25M salary is just a smidge more than Albert Pujols is earning this year ($12.9M). So, in the tradition of vast boredom, I was going to make a list of notable players making less money than Pat Burrell... but it seems more manageable to just list the 22 players that make more than Pat this year (are any of them worse than he is?):

1 Giambi, Jason $23,428,571
2 Rodriguez, Alex $22,708,525
3 Jeter, Derek $21,600,000
4 Ramirez, Manny $17,016,381
5 Helton, Todd $16,600,000
6 Colon, Bartolo $16,000,000
7 Pettitte, Andy $16,000,000
8 Schmidt, Jason $15,703,946
9 Bonds, Barry $15,533,970
10 Sexson, Richie $15,500,000
11 Abreu, Bobby# $15,000,000
12 Thome, Jim*# $14,833,333
13 Berkman, Lance $14,500,000
14 Delgado, Carlos $14,500,000
15 Guerrero, Vlad $14,500,000
16 Hampton, Mike $14,500,000
17 Martinez, Pedro $14,002,234
18 Drew, J.D. $14,000,000
19 Jones, Andruw $14,000,000
20 Tejada, Miguel $13,811,415
21 Furcal, Rafael $13,730,196
22 Beltran, Carlos $13,571,429

#: Abreu and Thome's contracts are both Ed Wade's fault.
*: the Phils are paying a good portion of Thome's salary this year too.

Los said...

So, we don't have any Mike Williams sightings? What about Roberto Hernandez ... he was just released by the Indians, right? Why not give him another spin ... this how low it's gotten for the Phils.

Pacman said...

Roberto Hernandez would be a great pick up. The Phils coud start picking up 40 year old pitchers the way the Detroit Lions draft achieving wide receivers.

The 7th inning stretch will be known as naptime.

Jacobin said...

Cooooooooooooooch!!!! What a night from the catcher! 3-4 with four RBI and he steals home (first Phillies catcher to steal home since Bo Diaz in 1982).

And don't forget Kyle Kendrick. While the kid's ERA isn't too impressive at 5.00, this team has won all three of his starts so far. He's not looking too bad as a fifth starter right now (although he's technically the fourth starter, I think).

Granted, we beat up on a bad Reds team, but we need all the wins we can get (especially against teams we should beat)! 2.5 games behind the Mets. Could the Phils find themselves in first at the All-Star Break?! The four games against the Mets this weekend loom large...

Jacobin said...

Umm... maybe I'm missing something, but isn't calling up Durbin supposed to plug the hole in the starting rotation? Why then this tidbit from

The Phillies still need a starter for Saturday's game, and J.A. Happ appears to be the leading candidate. The prospect started for Triple-A Ottawa on Sunday.

Am I to understand that we are going to tempt fate and pitch two AAA call-ups in the critical series against the Mets?

das411 said...

Ugh, Roa, thanks for ruining that final home opener at the Vet in '03...

but damn, what a nice game tonight! And isn't it odd, correct me if I'm wrong and all, but didn't the bullpen pitch well *again* tonight?

My vote for retread starter, fyi, is Jeff Juden. Dude would fit right in with all of the bases loaded awesomeness tonight!

Corey said...

i'm glad one person here likes the bullpen. fat girls need love too...

and while giving a shout out to "cooch" is never a bad thing, jacobin, i think you meant "cHooooooooch." or maybe you didn't...

and go iron pigs, big series this weekend against norfolk, errr, new york.

GM-Carson said...

The Phils are using J.D. Durbin in the day game portion of the day/night double header on Friday, as he's essentially taking Lieber's place in the rotation. But because of the double header we need a spot starter for Saturday's game (J.A. Happ). My guess is that the best performance earns them another one in the wake of Lieber's absence, while the other travels back to Ottawa.

Nice win last night, it was fun to put a "10 Spot" of our own on the opposition.

Jacobin said...

Err.... ooops... yeah, I meant Chooch. Oh well, it's a pretty funny typo.

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