Sunday, June 03, 2007

Hey Chief, You Suck

File under: Bad Off-season Acquisition.
I don't care if they did get rid of Gavin Floyd, this still has turned out to be a poor move. Garcia has started 10 games, and quite frankly, has been nothing short of pure garbage in most of them. The noted "innings eater" has gone past the 6th inning only once. He looks old, tired and disinterested. He's got Jamie Moyer's fastball and Gavin Floyd's mound presence. Not so good combination.

Here is his game log for the year. And for the bulimics in the reading audience, you're welcome:

Apr 17 NYM L 1-8 L 0-1 4.2 8 3 3 2 6
Apr 22 @CIN W 9-3 W 1-1 5 4 2 2 0 3
Apr 27 FLA W 6-5 4.2 7 4 4 2 8
May 2 @ATL L 3-4 L 1-2 5 7 4 4 2 2
May 7 @ARI L 3-4 6 5 2 2 0 2
May 12 CHC W 11-7 6 8 3 3 2 5
May 17 MIL L 2-3 L 1-3 5.2 7 2 2 2 5
May 23 @FLA W 8-7 6 5 3 3 3 4
May 28 ARI L 4-5 L 1-4 8 7 3 3 2 9
Jun 3 SF W 9-8 5.1 9 5 4 2 5

Add to it Garcia's third inning grounder to second base where he made a right turn towards the dugout and stopped running BEFORE Ray Durham had even thrown the ball, and you have yourself the makings of Philadelphia's next anti-hero. If there's one thing this fan base will not stand for, it is not performing to your ability while looking lazy and apathetic at the same time (unless you're Bobby Abreu, then some people will still like you.)
When A Joke Isn't Funny...
So this whole "Ryan Madson as closer" business is for real. Are we watching the same team that Fuqua is? In what bizzaro-universe does Ryan Madson look like a respectable option to close games? I almost dueced in my trousers when that squirrelly bastard brought MadDog into face Barroid, who he got out only by the shear mercy of Vishnu. I find so much comfort in the dependability of his pitiful performances, that getting Barroid to ground out gave me chest pain. Of course, like a tablet of nitroglycerin he walked two in the ninth and the Giants tied up the game. Sweet failure, sweet relief...
HULA !!!!!!
On the day the Phillies gave away the ugliest piece of memorabilia in the team's history, doll model Shane Victorino slammed a ninth inning home run to beat the Giants. Great for Shane and the Phils, but I can't get past this doll. For starters, it looks nothing like Victorino. Maybe a 12 year old Vic, but not Phillie Vic. Second, I find the grass skirt, lei and ukulele to be a little too much "ethinic stereotyping." What's next, Charlie Manuel doll in overalls with a corn-cob pipe, on bended knee proposing to a figurine of his sister? Stupid. Then again, maybe this giveaway is just a few years late, because a Vicente Padilla doll with oversized hat, poncho and tequila bottle would be pretty cool...
Don't Go There, Jack Taschner
Priceless response by Benjie Molina to the 1-2 pitch Ryan Howard took over the centerfield fence. Hopefully that will be Youtube'd soon. Until then, enjoy the last big homer by Howard.


BloodStripes said...

Hilarious post! Haha! The Fuqua doll in overalls and corn cob is just too much. LOL!! Fuck he is a dumb-ass.

Put a turbin on Freddies head and he could pass as a member of the taliban.

GM-Carson said...

Freddy Garcia is an official bust.

Then you look at Justin Germano dominating for the Padres...damn this organization sucks at evaluating what they already have.

Joe Table was just released by the Tiggers...we should bring him back to "close" game. (Just kidding)

GM-Carson said...

Priceless quote of the day: "They'll have to hand out leis more often." by Aaron Rowand

BloodStripes said...

Germano is one of the fantasy sleepers of the year so far and he is a no-talent-ass-clown. Bloody Phillies! Bloody Freddy! Work harder you bastard.

BloodStripes said...

The Phils have the worst ERA in the NL. Yep thats you Freddy.

BloodStripes said...

Gio Gonzalez has 82 Ks in only 59.2 innings and an ERA of 3.17 with Double-A Birmingham.

GM-Carson said...

Honestly, if I were Gillick, I would have done the Freddy Garcia trade too. I knew he wouldn't be Cy Young, but I didn't expect him to be the fat Sid Fernandez either. At least the Headcase Known as Gavin Floyd is no longer if Philly.

BenJah said...

personally i like rowand's idea. i've been to dozens of philly games, and i never got leid there. before maybe...and certainly after. but never during

GM-Carson said...

From the immortal words of Rodney Dangerfield in Caddy Shack "We're all getting laid".

GM-Carson said...

From FoxSports- Phils starter Freddy Garcia has pitched more than six innings just once in 10 starts this season. He is 1-4 with a 5.11 ERA. "It bothers me," Garcia said. "But I'm a professional. I can't think about how I pitched today. . . . That's not professional. I'm going to think about what's going to happen next." Garcia, the team's marquee off-season acquisition, is making $10 million this year. He will be a free agent after the season. "I'm trying my best," Garcia said. "After the season, we'll see what happens. I'm not concerned about it. . . . Whatever happens, happens. If I don't come back here, I'll be playing somewhere. . . . I'm not thinking about being a free agent. Right now, I'm trying to pitch better. If they don't want me here, somebody will want me. "Any pitcher can have a bad year. If you see last year, a lot of people didn't have a really good year and went to free agency."

*My Take- Shut up you whiny bitch!

Pat Gillick's immediate reaction? He smiled. Then he chuckled. "Do I look that foolish?" the Phillies' general manager said yesterday at Citizens Bank Park. Yesterday, the Boston Globe mentioned the possibility that the Seattle Mariners might be for sale. And if the Mariners are for sale, there are rumblings that Gillick could be head of an ownership group. Gillick, whose three-year contract with the Phillies runs through 2008, sold his Toronto home in the off-season and bought a home in Seattle, although he spends the majority of the year living in Philadelphia.

*My Take- Patty G is a fool.

If the Phillies are willing to try to get Mike MacDougal straightened out, the reliever could be a centerpiece in a White Sox deal for Aaron Rowand. The Phillies desperately need bullpen help and are letting teams know Rowand could be available in the right deal. The speedy Michael Bourn seems ready to move into a regular role in Philadelphia's outfield.

*My Take- trading Rowand for McDougal would be absolutely retarded. Rowand is having an awesome year and McDougal isn't even reliable.

Phils righthander Tom Gordon said he is not concerned about his role in the bullpen once he returns from the disabled list. It is believed that once that happens - and there is no timetable for his return - he will be the setup man for Brett Myers. Gordon has not pitched since May 1 because of inflammation in his right shoulder and an upper respiratory infection that put him in the hospital last month.

*My Take- Gordon should be concerned if he'll even be able to pitch effectively ever again.

GM-Carson said...

I was just joking around when I mentioned the Phils being interested in Jose Mesa earlier in this thread, but's Rumor Central is reporting the Phils actually do have some interest...BOO!!!

Jacobin said...

I think Garcia should really be referred to as "Five-Inning" Freddy, because that's about all the innings he's been eating (if only Lieber ate innings like he packs down donuts).

Anyone see the Sheffield article on ESPN today? Where he explains how latino players are more easily controlled than black players and that is why there are less black baseball players now than in decades past. The article really does a bang up job of illustrating that steroids do not increase the "brain muscle." Sheff is a douche bag moron. It's nice to see that the Balco Boys are pretty uniformly assholes. Sheff takes a stand against racism by going off with a diatribe of moronic, racist hate speech!

GM-Carson said...

Way to go Lieber, gave up a bomb to a shitty hasbeen (Klesko). Offense flat and sucky against a lefty, who would have thought.

GM-Carson said...

Looks like we got the hapless bunch of losers today playing as the Phils. They really do suck sometimes.

The real Jon Lieber is back, and he sucks! 5 runs in the 5th inning and no outs...this game is over. Back to under .500 within hours.

Jacobin said...

Lieber gave up five runs in an inning last time out too. How many more days until Hamels pitches again?

GM-Carson said...

Lieber's big innings are killing us. Freddy Garcia flat out sucks. Moyer is old and reliable, but nothing special. Eatons...waste of money. Only one that can be counted on is Hamels. Wish Myers was in the rotation.

Jacobin said...

It would be nice if Myers were in the rotation. It would also be nice if we had a real manager, all the pitchers we let go in the off season, and an actual accountable owner rather than the "Gang of Seven."

GM-Carson said...

THis team sucks with the bases loaded. Today only 1 run when the bases were loaded and no outs...that's pathetic. I wish I knew the stat for bases load in all situations (2 out, 1 out, and no outs), because the Phils have to be one of the worst teams in baseball based on my observations.

Jacobin said...

I agree with you Carson, this team has been abysmal with the bases loaded (well with runners in scoring position in general). What is amazing is that as of this weekend this team was leading the league in runs scored... also leading the league in men left on base! How potent would this team be if it could cut down on the strikeouts? How many times do you see someone on second or third with no outs and the team proceeds to strikeout twice to make it man in scoring position with two outs!!!

GM-Carson said...

Strikeouts aren't bad. What the hell are you talking about? At least that's what the Phans on PhilliesPhansPhorum would say. Strikeouts are unproductive outs that put no pressure on the defense...k's suck!

Jacobin said...

What? Is the rationale there that by striking out one avoids a double play?! You can move a runner up or let him tag by putting the ball into play and making an out. By watching three strikes go by you, nothing can be accomplished! The way to get on base and to drive home runs is to put the ball in play. You can't count on the other team issuing five or six walks an inning!!

p.s. - Yoel Hernandez sucks.

SirAlden said...

6 of Gracia's 10 starts were not total garbage. Not lights out but not garbage.

@CIN 5 4 2 2 0
@ARI 6 5 2 2 0
CHC 6 8 3 3 2
MIL 5.2 7 2 2 2
@FLA 6 5 3 3 3
ARI 8 7 3 3 2

After 3 good starts against Mil, Fla, and Ari, his last start against SF was awful, I was hoping he was coming back from injury and building up his arm.

We will see over the next 3-4 starts if he is toast. He wants a contract this fall so he will certainly be trying.

Mr. Donut eaters last 3 starts are what we should be furious about not Garcia (3 of his last 4 starts he kept us in the game).

Do you have a picture of Leiber on the couch eatin' donuts?

Skeeter said...

Every now and then I like to watch the game and contribute online at I haven't been online much this summer, but was able to do this during yesterdays game. When the cameras showed Alfonseca running in from the bullpen, I commented by saying "Alfonseca runs like a fairy"....because he does. I got an email last night from I guess the moderator of the board that I thought you guys would appreciate. Here it is:

You posted:

"wow...alfonseca runs like a fairy"

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. If by "fairy" you mean homosexual - then I should delete your post and caution you to lose the bigoted language. If by "fairy" you mean Tinkerbell...well, how does such a "fairy" - who generally flies - run, anyway?

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here - but make no mistake, we do not tolerate language that is demeaning to "targeted groups" on our if your "fairy" reference was to gays...lose it.

Apparently I'm a homophobe for saying fairy. I thought this was hilarious.

Jacobin said...

WOW! Well, if by fairy you meant he runs like an ass pirate, I'm not offended. But if you were making a Tinkerbell reference, you may upset the people at Disney who have a propensity to sue anyone to protect their copyrights (despite all the documents they shredded in relation to a lawsuit regarding the rights to Winnie the Pooh, and that most of their "classics" were based off of public domain stories...).

Anyway, you should tell that moderator that he is being incredibly anal. Oh damn, maybe he'll think by saying "anal" you could be referring to something homosexual rather than a Freudian classification that the insensitive among us apply to assholes that should just shut the hell up.

GM-Carson said...

I stopped going to because most of the guys on there are pretentious assholes who think everything they say is golden and far too politically correct. In fact, I counted the word "snarky" (which I hate) used 24 times in a 200+ comment thread once...I have no time for those fairy screwing ass pirates!

GM-Carson said...

Larry Andersen cracks me up. When Fransden got yet another hit, Larry asks, "Why is it that .200 hitters look like Babe Ruth against the Phillies?". Franske (sp?) response, "I'm not sure".

Today's effort = total shit!

Los said...

Who would've thought that this whole Freddie Garcia experiment would go oh so wrong? He is rapidly transcending down to Pat Burrell status ... not an easy task.

das411 said...

Actually isn't Freddy just about exactly what one would expect so far out of a starting pitcher version of Bobby Abreu?

And re: Joe Table, why not at least bring him in until Myers and Gordon are back? Would you really rather see Condrey at the back end of the bullpen instead of Mesa? And maybe we can get him back on the end of the stadium security video, that would be 2002-03 levels of awesome! Almost like Gillick seems to have thought Garcia would be!

GM-Carson said...

Quite honestly, I would rather see Jars of Clay Condrey pitching for the Phils than Joe you remember how bad Mesa was for us?!