Saturday, June 09, 2007

Hey Chief, You Suck (Part 2)

If Tampa Bay is baseball's equivalent to hell, then Kansas City must be purgatory. If the the Cubs are cursed, then the Royals are simply forgotten. What I'm trying to say is- K.C. sucks! Riding high after the sweep of the Mets, Freddy Garcia leaves us dry, yet again. For those of you watching the game last night in hopes that our Phils would begin another sweep in Dorothy's home are too easily fooled...these are the Phillies after all. The same Phillies that swept Atlanta then got swept by Arizona. I've come to expect this type of inconsistency and letdown, especially from the ballyhooed gem offseason acquisition of Freddy "Chief" Garcia who has been the biggest letdown thus far. After last night's sterling execution, in which he sweated more than a whore in church, Garcia's stat line now looks this- 1 freakin' win, a much-bloated like his gut ERA of 5.90, a Gavin Floyd like 1.60 WHIP, 12 homers and 74 hits surrendered in 58 IP, and a sparkling .318 average against. I and others were hoping he'd be able to straighten himself out against the Major's version of an all No-Talent Ass-Clown squad of Danny Sandoval's, but nay, Garcia made them look superior last evening. Hang your head in shame.

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Gillick Saves the Day:
Thank goodness for the genius known to mere mortals as Pat Gillick. He has given the Philadelphia Phillies all the tools they need to flourish in the NL East. As mentioned previously in this entry, Chief was an offseason acquisition, and other stellar names like No-Hit Nunez, Alex Gonzalez, Ryan Franklin, Sal Fasano, Arthur Rhodes, Rod Barajas, Adamn Eaton, Wes Helms, Rick White, Adam Bernero, Jose Hernandez, Randall Simon, Julio Santana, Jayson Werth, and Francisco Rosario have been able to don a Phils uniform because of Patty G. Well, he has come to the rescue once again, this time in the form of the sinister Joe Table. Yes, the same crap-bag that blew many a saves for the Phils a few years ago, except now he's older and crappier. He's so crappy that the Tigers outright released him and paid his 2.5 million dollar contract. This speaks volumes for the state of our bullpen, in which our general manager sees Mesa and his 12.34 ERA being an upgrade. I surely hope Clay Condrey (9.00 ERA) or Rosario (4.82 ERA) are banished, but it'll probably be someone with a bit of promise like Fat-Mike Zagurski or Yo-Yoel Hernandez that get sent to the minors instead, because that's the type of half-assed organization the Phils run.

So, after hearing the news of Mesa's return and watching the Phils lose to the lowly Royals, I'm not exactly amused...more confused. Therefore, I leave you with this inspiring message...

~Carson

10 comments:

fans said...

According to phillies.com Garcia has a sore shoulder and will be examined on Monday in Philly. I don't know if not having Garcia in the lineup will be good or bad.
Who would they put in there instead??

goDuke said...

I propose the Phils do the following. Take Garcia out behind the woodshed, and put him out of his misery.

das411 said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE TABLE RETURNS!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha wow this is not good...

Maximis said...

First off, I love your guys' blog. It expresses how I feel quite appropriately.

But come on! It's Joey Table! How could you not be at least minutely excited seein' Ole Joe again? And honestly, can he be any worse than Alfonseca?

Here is my rant about the ole boy... http://fortyminutesofhell.blogspot.com/

God Garcia is terrible.

Bob D said...

Garcia just went on the 15 day DL, and Mesa signed onto the roster.

Now the question is who starts in place of Garcia?

BenJah said...

maybe mesa could start in place of garcia......hahahha, sorry, i've been massively hung over all day. plus, my little league team lost it's playoff game in classic philly phasion AND my girlfriend and i broke up this past week after 2.5 years of pho-marraige.

so please, phils, for god's sake if not for mine: you are all i have right now, please don't suck quite so bad!!

Maria said...

Condrey could start instead of Garcia. Pretty much anyone who can get past the first 3 innings.

Good game by Lieber. The bullpen needed this rest. They've been pitching pretty much every night.

das411 said...

Wow does it get quiet around here on the weekends...great start by Lieber tonight. Every game like this makes you wonder more and more why they didn't just keep him in the rotation at the start of the season though...

BloodStripes said...

Awesome row of donuts put up by Leiber. Wow! Nine frosty ones with 11 punchouts and and a another donut for walks. Good job.

Grand-dad to keep it going sunday. Lets go Phils! 3 over .500. Do it!!

GM-Carson said...

Maria- I love your comment about any pitcher being able to make it more than 3 innings could effectively replace Freddy Garcia in the rotation. My guess is, they "option" Condrey (may lose him to waivers) and call up some doofus from Ottawa.

Jose Mesa is good for laughs, but those laughs are painful. When I saw he was released last week, I said it on here and BeerLeaguer that the Phils would be interested...I was only joking. I never truly thought Gillick would be dumb enough to bring him back.

Hopefully Grand Pappy Moyer can make the young KC hitters anxious and out in front of his stuff all day.