
Recipe for runs- put the top offenses of their perspectives leagues in the same series mixed in with pitching staffs that are ranked near the bottom of MLB. Outcome- 20 total runs scored in the 1st game alone. I head down to the Brick Cit House tonight to watch a pair of lefties duel it out (rookie Andrew Miller for the Tigers vs. Grand Pappy Moyer for our Phightins), so I hope I see some offensive fireworks again, this time solely by the Phils.
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Tantalizing:
*Yo-Yoel Hernandez was pretty much an unknown commodity when he came up to the Phils early this season, and his first impression was not a good one (homerun surrendered to first batter faced). However, he has calmed down nicely since then and has become a decent reliever posting a 2.70 era, 0.75 WHIP, and issuing no walks in his 13 1/3 innings pitched. In a bullpen that reeks of crap, he comes out smelling like a rose.
*As mentioned earlier, our offense is tops in the NL, due largely in part by the bats of Chase Utley (.960 OPS), Ryan Howard (.915 OPS), Fence-Face Rowand (.885 OPS), Greg Dobbs (.867 OPS), and Jimmy Rollins (.860). OPS is one of my favorite stats, and although it doesn't give you a complete snapshot of the player's abilities it does tell you his tendency of getting on base and slugging the crap out of the ball...two very important things in the game of baseball in my opinion.
*King Cole is the man. He currently leads the NL in wins (9) and strikeouts (104), and put his 3.47 era and 1.16 WHIP into the fold and you have a potential Cy Young on your staff (that is if Jake Peavy stops ruling the world for the next few months).

*The Flyin' Hawaiian now has 21 stolen bases on the season, and hasn't been caught in 18 straight attempts. Victorino's speed coupled with his outstanding defense make him an exciting player to watch and an easy guy to root for.
*Six-Finger-Ant has been a pleasant surprise, and I believe he deserves more respect for the job he has done. Yes, Alfonseca had a stretch of two terrible weeks, but other than that he's been a bullpen savior with 3 wins, 5 saves, 7 holds, and a 3.49 era.
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Torturing:
*Like I said above, OPS only gives you a snapshot into a player's skills, and that leads me to the reigning NL MVP Ryan Howard and his .915 OPS. That's a great OPS, and he now has 14 jacks, which isn't bad considering he's missed about 20 games due to injury, but there is concern with his batting average (.238) and his k's (63 in 49 games and 168 at bats).
*Pat Burrell may be WSBGM's boy, but he sucks. I've defended him for years, but it's now come to a point where there really isn't any defense for him. The man is making about 13 million dollars this season to play a shoddy leftfield and bat .216 with little power (8 homers). The only things he does well anymore is draw walks (52) and throw from the outfield (5 assists).

*Our pitching staff sucks, and here's why- Gavin Eaton and his erratic performances (5.42 era), the letdown known as Freddy Garcia, Jars of Clay Condrey, the crapfest of lefties Matt Smith and Fabio Castro, Jose Joe Table Mesa (I can barely believe I'm typing those words), Francisco Rosario, and...please hold applause...a MLB leading 85 homeruns surrendered. Once again, thank you Pat Gillick.
*For as outstanding as some of our players have been offensively, there have been some dismal performances as well- Rod Barajas (.207 avg), No-Hit Nunez (.637 OPS), Wes Helms (.631 OPS), and Jayson Werth for not being worth much at all.
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Look Alike:

I think I found a logical explanation for why Chase Utley is awesome...his mother was implanted with Michael Jack Schmidt's super-sperm. Seriously, look at Utley's father (middle) and compare it to this picture of Schmidt...hmm?
~Carson