Tuesday, May 08, 2007

U-G-L-Y

U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you're ugly. Hey, hey, you're ugly! Ugly is how the Phils play baseball.

I hate Charles Fuqua Manuel. Freddy Garcia was having his best outing of the 2007 season, allowing 5 hits, no walks, for 2 runs over 6 innings, while throwing only 70 pitches. Naturally, our dunce of a manager sees the opposition is struggling with Garcia and needs an opportunity to score so the Phils can lose the game and brings in the relief unit (Alfonseca and Rosario). Outcome- Alfonseca and Rosario each surrender a run and lose the game 4-3. Manuel had this to say in his defense, "I didn't want to take him out." Well, then don't take him out you stupid slug! Once again, I freakin' loathe Unka Cholly.

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Does Anybody Care?:
*No-Hit Nunez apparently can hit after all, from the right side only that is. Nuni is a "switch hitter" that doesn't actually hit all that often. From the right side he's batting .615 (8-13) with an outrageous 1.461 OPS.
Don't get too excited, he's batting .125 (4-32) with an abysmal .347 OPS from the left side. Now, I know good ol' Fuqua isn't a mathlete, but you'd think he'd be able to see the difference in the numbers and play to Nunez's strengths more. Yep, that's right, I'm actually suggesting Nunez has a strength, but that's only because every thing else about him is so weak.

*Through all your years of watching Phillies baseball, have you ever noticed the Phillies pitchers knack for giving up hits to batters with horrendous averages? Through the years they've made Mark Lemke, Mike Mordecai, Eliezer Alfonzo, and a bunch of other chumps look like "Phillies Killers" and potential batting title contenders.

*Good News- Gavin Eaton is the starting pitcher for the Phillies tonight. Crap, that's only good news if you're a Diamondback fan.

*Bad News- Ryan Howard is injured and is out of the lineup until at least Friday. The Phils are calling it a "nagging left quadriceps muscle, and a strained ligament in his left knee"...which means he probably has a torn ACL based on their past honesty with the fans. I'm sure the Phils are going to miss his lofty .200 average and strikeout every other plate appearance.

~Carson

27 comments:

Bob D said...

Since April 29th Alfonseco has made 5 appearances and let up run in 4 of them. A total of 8 runs allowed in 4.2 innings with his ERA going from 0.75 to 4.86. Is this bad?

GM-Carson said...

No BobD, it's really freakin' bad! Our team overall sucks. We have 3 decent starters (Lieber, Moyer, Hamels). Our lineup is drastically inconsistent. Our bullpen is just plain bad. Myers and Geary are good, but Alfonseca, Rosario, Castro, Hernandez, and Condrey aren't. How I ever thought this team could compete this season is beyond me.

fans said...

Further proof that Manuel doesn't want to be in National League. Quote from Charlie from philly.com:

"I wish I could have gone one more inning," he said. "It's really tough for me because in a game like this in the American League I could go seven, eight, complete game. I had to be aware because we're trying to win the game. But I wasn't surprised. That's the way they play here. That's the way the National League goes. That's the decision for the manager and he's trying to do what's best for the team. I respect that.

Bob D said...

Maybe Eaton can have his best game of the year, all he has to do is follow Garcia and run into a golf cart. If it doesn't work we can always put him on the DL and bring up someone who may win some games (JA Happ)

Bob D said...

Will Gillick give Manuel his wish of not being in the NL, he is a better AL manager with strategy.

GM-Carson said...

Screw Pat Gillic, screw Ryan Howard, and screw the Phillies!

It's going to be a long shitty season. I'll try to keep it funny here, because we need to laugh, but losing gets old.

McD said...

I've said it before, and I will say it again...Charlie Manuel must go! I realize that getting rid of him will not turn this shitty season around, but it would be a positive step. He clearly cost the Phillies the game last night when he removed Garcia after throwing only 70 pitches. And the quote Fans posted showed just how overwhelmed he is being a big league manager, and especially a National League manager.

The Phillies hired Manuel because he would not rock the boat and would accept a lower salary than Jim Leyland would have demanded. Once again the ownership of this team screwed the fans in order to satisfy their own petty, money grubbing needs.

Sometimes I really hate this organization.

GM-Carson said...

Manuel will be fired (All-Star break) or let go/not renewed at the end of the season. He should have never been hired, but how much longer must we suffer through dumb decision after retarded move? We all understand it's not all his fault, but it is somewhat his fault...so get rid of his dumbass!

furiousBall said...

I say we cut off one of Alfonseca's extra fingers with a cigar cutter in the clubhouse just to get the team psyched up.

GM-Carson said...

I say we cut off Charlie Manuel's penis with a cigar cutter so his dumbass has no chance of reproducing ever again!

Jacobin said...

What amazes me is that last year's bullpen wasn't so great, and yet Gillick found ways to make this year's version worse! The amusing thing here is that our old asshat of a GM, Ed Wade, was good for nothing except trading for shitty middle relievers. Believing this organization will do the right thing is like trusting a bulimic ballerina with your bag of oreos.

GM-Carson said...

From FoxSports-Chris Coste is languishing in the Philadelphia Phillies' minor league system after leading the major league club in hitting last season (.328) and would seem a worthwhile acquisition for the Twins. *I think he'd be a good acquisition for the Phillies!

Charlie Manuel and others have maintained that Ryan Howard simply is putting too much pressure on himself to produce after hitting .313 with 58 homers and 149 RBIs last season, when he won the National League MVP award. And once that happens, a hitter digs himself into a deeper hole. Phillies general manager Pat Gillick agrees. "I think he's trying too hard," Gillick said. "I don't think it's his approach or his swing. I just think he's trying too hard. I'm not worried about him. I don't see anything mechanically. I don't see anything with his approach to his swing that's out of whack." So could internal or external pressures truly be affecting Howard at the plate? Howard won't rule it out completely. "When you go out there, you want to do good," Howard said. "Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe it will help to step back and relax a little bit. I don't want to say I'm pressing or anything like that, but sometimes you just want it to happen and things just keep building up and sometimes you just have to take a step back." *Shut up and produce!

McD said...

Very original analogy Jacobin!

The bullpen woes began in earnest when the Phils let Billy Wagner walk. Make no mistake about it, Wagner's exit was about money, not his mouth or age. The Phillies tried to play the good guys in that whole situation, but the bottom line is they let one of the game's best closers go to a division rival. The bullpen has been mediocre every since.

GM-Carson said...

McD- as much as I hate Billy for being a whiny lil' bitch, I love him as a reliable reliever. Yes, he'll blow a few saves a season, but Gordon already has blown a few through the first month.

Allowing Fultz to walk this offseason was also a mistake, because Matt Smith was an unproven lefty...leaving too much to chance.

Screw Patty G!!!

Skeeter said...

I posted this on my site but it makes just as much sense in the conversation over here:

Right now, look at our bullpen. There is one ML reliever (Geary), One opening day starter (Myers), One over-the-hill reliever (Alfonseca) and four minor leaguers (Rosario, Castro, Condrey, Hernandez). So in an offseason where Gillick knew he had to strengthen a weak and injury-prone bullpen, we are left in May with ONLY one major league reliever in the form of a 7th-8th inning pitcher named Geoff Geary. The rest are mop-ups or starters.

McD said...

Skeeter - Gillick's excuse for not improving the bullpen was that every team was looking for relief pitching. Therefore the available talent was stretched pretty thin.

Maybe he should look at how the Braves were able to revamp their bullpen.

GM-Carson said...

The Braves also have a farm system, our's only produces turd-burgers, not prospects that actually end up producing at the MLB level.

GM-Carson said...

The entire Ottawa Lynx Triple A team has exactly as many homeruns this season as Pat Burrell...One, Uno, 1...shitty!

How can an entire team through one month of baseball have only 1 homerun? This isn't the deal ball era.

SirAlden said...

I love you guys. lol. There i've said it. I love you guys. Actually there i've said it twice.

McD said...

One home run for the ENTIRE team by the first week in May has to be some kind of record. It just shows that the farm system of this organization is failing just like everything else.

GM-Carson said...

We GM's love you too SirAlden.

But can I ask why you're sending man-love our way. My guess is because of our humor, but maybe you like our striking good looks too.

klkatz said...

Hey Carson.. i beleive your nickname for Nunez is pronounced... Nuni... not Nuni.

Nuni?
No... Nuni.

GM-Carson said...

I just got back from Spencer's Gifts and saw an "Eaton Beaver" t-shirt. I think we should get a bunch of them and show up at the game and be his fan club. Think we'd get air time? Anyway, I'm thinking Adamn has a decent outing tonight, because although he's bad, he's not 8+ ERA bad.

Bob D said...

Why is there such a double standard for players on this team:
Some will get every chance to succeed while others get very few chances to even prove anything. 3B is a prime case: Helms has been decent with the bat nothing spectacular, with the glove not good so far. Nunez no bat, OK with glove and he has been here 2 years. Now Dobbs can play 3B and supposibly has a good bat, why not give him some starts to see if he can do better. My guess is he would be an improvement all the way around. Second option: Coste can play 3B and be back up catcher yet he wastes away in the minors. And we could throw Barajas in that mix with wether or not Coste should be given a chance - one that he excelled at last year.

The case can be made for the pitching too.

Carson you called that about Eaton so far 5 innings 1 run

Jacobin said...

The Phils' offense seems to be backing up Eaton during his best outing of the year by finally putting a run on the board in the fifth to tie it. Gah! Score some damn runs, we know the bullpen will shit this one away too!

Our farm system is pretty dried out at this point, but you have to admit it has produced enough players to form a nucleus of a team. Rollins, Utley, Ruiz, Howard, Burrell, Hamels, and Myers all came up through the system.

What would our record be if the guy the Marlins fired last year had come here and taken over for Fuqua? I mean, it wouldn't fix the bullpen problems... but we'd be in better shape, right?

Jacobin said...

Eaton only gives up 2 unearned runs... but the Phils lose 3-2! What happened? Oh yeah, our defensive replacement third baseman Nunez committed an error!

Ugly isn't harsh enough.

GM-Carson said...

The Phillies SUCK!!!