Thursday, May 31, 2007

Emotional Roller Coaster

The "high", sweeping the Braves in Atlanta, reaching 26-24. The "low", getting swept by the Diamondbacks in Philly, falling to 26-27. The "good", Ryan Howard's return to the lineup and May OPS of 1.098, up from .786 in April. The "bad", Jimmy Rollins May OPS of .668, down from .979 in April. The "ugly", Rod "Fat-Ass-Piece-of-Poop" Barajas...enough said. The "hot", Gregg Dobbs and his scorching .349 average and 1.055 OPS in May. The "consistent", Chase Utley's fielding, hitting, and all-around great play making him the best 2nd baseman in all of MLB. The "return to normalcy", Aaron Rowand hitting .282 with a .741 OPS in May compared to his outrageous .378 and 1.084 in April. The "playing over their head", Abe Nunez and his .354 average and .850 OPS in May. The "sadness", two months into the season and still a losing record. The "injured", Brett Myers and Tom Gordon. The "banished", Fabio Castro and Matt Smith. The "instant fan favorite", Mike Zagurski. The "weak", Wes Helms and his ZERO homeruns. The "overpaid", Pat Burrell. The "mentally handicapped", Charles Fuqua Manuel. The "unjustifiably mistreated", Chris Coste. The "disappointment", Freddy Garcia and his 1 win through 2 months after 17 last season with the ChiSox. The "happy", Cole Hamels with 7 wins and a superb 3.74 ERA and 1.22 WHIP. The "useless", bullpen fillers Clay Condrey and Francisco Rosario. The "speedy but clueless", Michael "Happy Feet" Bourn. The "lost cause", the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies.

Would someone please save me from this dismal state?

~Carson

14 comments:

GM-Carson said...

The man of infinite wisdom (Unka Cholly) had this to say following the game, "I'm very concerned about our team. I want our team to be better. I want us to win. We're at the point where we have to start winning some games. We need to run off a winning streak."

meech.one said...

I swear to God, Cholly is like a young Walt Whitman with the english language.

Coincidentally, I had this to say after the game, "I'm very concerned about this team. I want this team to be better. I want them to win. They're at the point where they have to start winning some games. They need to run off a winning streak."

But then I added, "FIRE CHARLIE MANUEL!!!!!"

GM-Carson said...

Meech- we just posted the same quote...guess it needed repeated.

meech.one said...

I know, I was just reiterating Captain Obvious' statement.

I just can't wait until the next extra-inning game where he runs out of players by the 10th. Again.

Bob D said...

And we have an extra day to ponder the latest loss. I am glad I did not listen to the game.

BenJah said...

well carson, in the words of hunter s thompson: "i never encouraged anyone to use drugs and alcohol as a means of dealing with their problems.....but they always worked for me!"

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- good suggestions, I could good for a healthy High Life buzz right now to ease the pain of yet another wasted season.

GM-Carson said...

Reported from FoxSports: The Phillies will continue to serve beer in their home and visitors' clubhouses. A handful of major-league teams have banned beer after St. Louis pitcher Josh Hancock died in a car crash linked to drunken driving.

*They know that drinking eases the pain.

michael said...

why punish everyone for one guy's stupid mistake? it may also explain charlie's slurred and moronic speak, too much clubhouse brew

Maria said...

Baahhh. Under .500 again.

SirAlden said...

Think Wild Card, then hope springs eternal. We need Myers and Gordon back to make a run.

Jacobin said...

Eight games behind the Mets... if and when that number goes to ten games, Fuqua should be fired. If only the problem was he drinks before managing a game, then it could be fixed. Unfortunately, there is no magic potion to cure being a total friggin' moron.

GM-Carson said...

Short of a brain transplant, I'm afraid there is no fixing the Manuel stupidity conundrum.

GM-Carson said...

This weekend's series should be a boo-fest aimed largely at Bonds and the atrocious play of our Phils. Boo from warm up pitches up through the time the players leave the field at the end of the game. Boo, boo, boo!!!