Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Do they make a Hallmark card for this?

Ho-hum the Phillies lose again, scuffling along with a 14-19 record. Sorry to report, but things won't get better. In fact the Phils will continue to play lackluster, heartless, inconsistent, stupid baseball for the foreseeable future. Pat Burrell is back to sucking as he has 2 hits in his last 11 games. Our feces-fest (Nunez/Helms) over at 3rd base have 9 errors between them. Our biggest power threat has a bum left leg and may be heading to the DL. Our only reliable bullpen pieces are a man nicknamed Gas-Can and a former #1 starter. Even if this club had all the right parts, I'm sure Manuel would assemble them improperly. I don't even know what to say right now. Do they make a Hallmark card for apathy?

___________________________________

I apologize for the depressing tone of my above statements. I'm fed up with losing. I know we can't win them all, but this is far worse than I imagined. Phillies baseball isn't even fun to watch anymore...yet I tune in game after crappy game. To lift the spirits of the weary Phillies fans, I'm simply going to post some pictures that will hopefully make you smile. Enjoy...






















~Carson

30 comments:

BloodStripes said...

If only those cards could come alive and be transported into the lineup.

I've given up on success this year. Feels crap but I'm over hoping. Its over. Just gonna enjoy the season whatever happens.

Fuqua should have pulled Eaton like he did Freddy. At least a PH may have scored some runs. Oh well. Its easy with hindsight but still Charlie was shown up in the bottom of the inning when a D-back PH went yard. All you can do is forget about it.

GM-Carson said...

After last season, in which I threw the "towell" in early, and then had to wrestle it back post All-Star break, I've been trying to hold out in saying this season is a failure. Here it is- this season is a lost hope. Go ahead, prove me wrong Phillies, but I doubt they will. At least last season Ryan Howard was a joy to watch and that brought excitement...what the hell do we have this year? Shitty 3rd basemen, yet again. Pat Burrell not hitting, yet again. Runners being stranded on base, yet again. A shitty bullpen, yet again. A shitty bench, yet again. An up-and-down rotation...yet again!!!

BloodStripes said...

And yet again we have Elmer Fudd. Put an L in the loss column Elmer!

BloodStripes said...

On a brighter note I would like to say the fantasy league is alot of fun. Addictive even.

Anyway, I am reading a really funny book on the subject. Its called Fantasyland. A season on baseballs lunatic fringe. I recommend it to all you GM's out there. Stick your nose in it. Great read. .

GM-Carson said...

I love fantasy baseball, it gives me something baseball related to focus my attention on besides the Phucking Phillies.

GM-Carson said...

The Hallmark Card-

Come see us play,
We’re not that bad.
You’ll soon realize,
That you’ve been had.

We’ll break your heart,
You’ll hafta take pills.
From owners on down,
We are the Phils.

McD said...

Where is the love for Von Hayes on this post?

Although I do like seeing Steve Jeltz. He is the greatest baseball player of all time...from France.

GM-Carson said...

That speaks volumes about the complete suckitude of players from France. I believe Bruce Bochy ranks right behind Jeltz.

As bad as the Phils are playing, I'm going to have to pull out all the old players that we have fond memories of. Don't worry, I'm sure Von Hayes will be making a cameo.

McD said...

Glad to hear #9 will be represented Carson. And I am not talking about Michael Bourn!

GM-Carson said...

So McD would like to see Von represented. Anybody have any other players they'd like to see make an appearance of WSBGM's in the umcoming days?

GM-Carson said...

I really don't know what to say. I think we can all admit it's the collective fault of everyone associated with the Phillies. Owners, GM, manager, players, scouts, minor league coordinators...everyone!

I wish I didn't care, but I do. I believe I'm developing an ulcer. Don't worry, the Phils will be getting my medical bills.

GM-Carson said...

From FoxSports- The Phillies desperately need someone to step up in their bullpen while closer Tom Gordon and righthander Ryan Madson are on the disabled list with injuries. Righthander Antonio Alfonseca would be nice. He had a 0.75 ERA after his first 11 appearances, but he has a 15.43 ERA in his last five.

BenJah said...

i'm fed up w/ losing too....on my LL team. we're 1-5. we've only lost by a few run per game, but our offense and defense are both wildly inconsistent. as coaches, we've made some adjustments, and i really think we're improving a lot....but we're not where we want to be.

never before has my own season mirrored the phil's season so closely. which team is jinxing which??

GM-Carson said...

To hell with blaming every single person affliated with the Phils organization, I'm blaming Benjah. You jinxin' son-of-a-bitch!!!

Jacobin said...

A Von Hayes cameo! A classic Phillie seems to call for a classic rock parody reference:

Five for one, Philly
One for five
No one here gets out alive, now
You get yours, Philly
I'll get mine
Gonna make it, Philly
If we try

GM-Carson said...

The 2007 team is barely worth my time and effort blogging about, so I'm going to have to start getting creative with parodies, phlashbacks, and random other silly/pointless things that distract us for the shittiness of our current squad.

furiousBall said...

Dobbs went deep, got to find the sunshine in the poop, at least that's what my grandfather always told me.

klkatz said...

NAILS.. excellent.

GM-Carson said...

Daulton would have made an appearance on the blog today, but he was between stops in astral travel.

Skeeter said...

you should have posted pictures of some boobies as well. Too many dudes wearing Phillies uniforms just keeps reminding of this team now.

And while they don't make hallmark cards for this, they do have therapists...but that would just be a waste of money. WSBGMs is my therapy.

SirAlden said...

You pull Freddy people get mad, you don't pull Adam and people get mad.

We just got 2 quality starts from the two weakest links so far in the rotation.

Howard is hurtin' let him rest up.
Things are warming up.

Bob D said...

Hayes was good - but now we have Willie Mays Hayes in a guy named Shane Victorino. He is definitely pure excitement especially on the base paths

I thought there would be a preview of the oldest pitching match up ever: Moyer vs Johnson.


I hear Rickey Henderson wants to come back now, he can play left

Mike said...

I miss the .350 hitting version of Pat Burrell.
Jamie Moyer- 7 innings and the win tonight!

Jarex said...

True or False: Steve Jeltz was the first Phillies player in history to hit a HR from both sides of the plate in the same game.

Jacobin said...

That would be true. Jeltz was the first Phil to hit a homerun from both sides of the plate in the same game. The trivia addendum to that trivia would be to mention that Jeltz hit those homeruns in the infamous game against the Pirates where the Buccos jumped out to a 10-0 lead... prompting Jim Rooker to vow that he'd walk home if the Pirates lost. Rooker, of course, walked from Veteran's Stadium to Three Rivers after the season ended.

We win! Woooo!!! Fuqua was going to use Myers for a 6-out save. Nice to see our new closer will have his arm hanging off by the all-star break.

das411 said...

Would that be our new closer who has thrown 198, 215, 176 and 193 innings over his last four seasons?

Carson, can a dude get some Dave Hollins (and not the crappy 2002 version) sometime too?

GM-Carson said...

Ho-Hum the Phillies win.

It's nice to win, but it's only 1 win. I'm not really excited about it at all. Sorry to be a downer.

BloodStripes said...

Although Howards grand slam was pretty exciting. He seems to be on the way back. That swing should help his confidence.

GM-Carson said...

The Phils were being dominated until that grand slam. If not for that grand slam, we would have lost yet another game, because Bob Melvin would have turned to his trusty relievers not his scrubs.

popzeus34 said...

here's some Von Hayes love for you:

http://myspace.com/vonhayessucks