Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Times They Are A-Changin'

I'm turning over a new leaf and changing my ways. No more drinking. No more cigar smoking. No more finishing off an entire dozen Dunkin' Donuts and excusing it as "support for Jon Lieber." Heck, I even like moving Brett Myers to the bullpen. No joke, I'm actually glad Myers moved to the pen. Here's why:

It's only a temporary move. The Phils have 6 starters right now and one of them has to be traded. The one to be traded: Jon Lieber, who before two days ago was sitting in the bullpen, chewing sunflower seeds and watching his trade value drop. Now he's in the rotation and with a little luck and karma, will have a solid outing or two, at which point he can be dealt, opening up a starter spot for Myers. And in the meantime, the Phils run 5 worthy starters out there and Myers sures-up the set-up spot.

Let's say Lieber to the pitching-starved Cubs for Jacque Jones, thereby allowing Victorino to move to center after Rowand is dealt to his old club, the White Sox, who are without Scott Podsednik and would be willing to deal a reliever to the Phils for their old friend. Sound about right, don't you think?

Hopefully this, or something like this, will happen, and Myers' stint in the pen will be about as long as a Brittney Spears rehab stay.

Of course, it this doesn't happen, and Myers toils in the pen all year while Adam Eaton gets his ass handed to him every 5th game, I'm picking a new team to blog about...
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The Omnipotent Arm
I found this at Deadspin.com concerning the move of Myers to the bullpen: (By the way, you know you have a great team blog when you have to go to a general sports blog to get info on your team. We suck.)

When we eventually tracked down Myers, someone asked if he'd be able to throw harder now that he was working in shorter bursts. "Let me let you direct that question to my arm," Myers said, putting his arm in the writer's face.

This blew me away. Brett Myers' arm, thought only to be able to throw baseballs and hit women, can talk. And not just talk, it can respond to direct questioning. Well, if anyone has a question for Myers' arm, post it in the comment section. I'll see what I can do about getting said arm to answer a few burning questions.
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Tonight's Game
Speaking of the King of the Cruller, Lieber spins his magic against Cincinnatti and Kyle Lohse. Lohse comes in to the game with a 2.53 ERA. Hopefully, somebody will remind him before tonight that he's Kyle Lohse and that he had an ERA over 7 two years ago. At the plate, Josh Hamilton has 4 homers for the Reds. If he keeps hitting like that, the Reds might give him a contract extension, and that could mean a lot of smack. Ken Griffey will be in RF, unless he pulls a hammy at breakfast, and he looks kind of fat and old. Hasn't he ever heard of HGH?

My prediction: Phils in a runaway. They haven't really blown anyone out yet, they're due.

Brett Myers' Arm's prediction: "What's the deal with that mascot? Who ever heard of a man with a baseball for a head? That's just stupid. Phils win based on more believable mascot."

Corey

51 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Mr. Met has a baseball for a head too.

Josh Hamilton blasted his 5th homerun last night.

Brett Myers' arm is my new fascination.

I too thought about this move to the 'pen as a way of showcasing Lieber as tradebait, but then I remembered the 2 men in charge of handling personnel are TweedleDee and TweedleDum (Gillick & Manuel)...yikes!

Corey said...

like george michael, "ya gotta have-a faith."

over at beerleaguer, "reports are" the move is permanent. yeah, gotta believe "reports." fact is, it is easier to find a closer than a front line starter. no doubt about it. this still pisses me off.

GM-Carson said...

And like George Michael you're gay too...hahaha, had to burn ya buddy, you've been throwing some zingers at me.

I truly hope Donut-Eater pitches well. Because if this is a permanent move, then Lieber needs to succeed in the rotation, and if it's only for showcasing, then he still needs to do well to up the trade value. Right now we would't get Jose Lima in return for him.

BloodStripes said...

I'm getting used to the idea now. If Leiber can pitch some quality starts then the Phils will hang in there. No doubt Myers oughtta handle his role. He's cool with it and I reckon he will succeed.

Interesting times ahead.

GM-Carson said...

If by "interesting" you mean "scary, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and depressing" then sure, "interesting" times await us.

BloodStripes said...

All those things GM but maybe some joy, success, happiness too. Who knows? It all starts in 12 hours with Donut on the mound.

Lets go for 2 Phils. Start streaking.

GM-Carson said...

I'm going to throw caution to the wind, and jump back on my faithful steed of optimism and play along...the Phils finally break out of their offense slump tonight with an 8 run inning and Lieber pitches 7 quality innings followed by one dominant inning from Myers and Madson coming in to end the game because the Phils are ahead by 10 runs (no harm done then). We're going streaking...who's with me?!

Scotty said...

I agree that putting Lieber into the rotation may do some good in that he could raise his trade value a little. I also think trying to acquire Jones from the Cubs would be a solid move. I wouldnt trade Rowand though, at least not at this point. I think acquiring Jones from the Cubs and then sending him back to the AL and the AL Central would be just as beneficial.

Rowand has been one of the few bright spots so far offensively for the Phils, he is a blue collar type guy, and his style of play is something that all Phillie fans appreciate, I think he is finally getting comfortable in the NL and I think he will be a bigger help to the Phils than Jones would be.

Jones just hasnt seemed to figure out the NL as of yet. He had success with the Twins and he, like Rowand, knows the AL Central well.

Skeeter said...

It is going to take a little while before I can say I am comfortable with the Myers to bullpen debacle.

Also, did anyone hear Manuel's reasoning:

"The way I figure, with Myers in the bullpen, we have a chance to use him in 70 to 75 games instead of just 35."

Ok Charlie, then the Twins should put Santana in the bullpen so they can use him more. And the Red Sox should put Daisuke in there as well. And while we are at it, lets put Cole in there too and move Madson back to the rotation. That way, we only see Ryan 30 times instead of 70.

That reasoning is the dumbest shit I have ever heard. I am baffled as to how a man this fucking dumb can manage a baseball team.

...only in Philadelphia.

Dave Kingman said...

Guys Rowand isn't even close to the centerfielders in Muttland or Atlanta. He has no speed, bad arm and limited power. If not for the catch last year he would be gone.
Carson, is that you jumping on the band wagon of the Krispy Kreme boy? Remember he only gets going the last 2 months of the season always past the trade deadline.

goDuke said...

I think Myers will end up being the closer. I see Gordon blowing a couple saves (like he almost did yesterday) or getting hurt, them moving Myers to closer, and then him never losing the spot. Gordon returns from injury/demotion to setup and does ok.

GM-Carson said...

Scotty- Rowand is a "blue collar" guy, because he has a huge friggin neck, but no shoulders...hence no arm strength. Honestly, he's doing well for the Phils right now, and I'm happy with him. I actually like him as a player because of his balls-to-the-wall mentality, but that doesn't make him a keeper. Rowand isn't where we should be concentrating our effort though, Utley and Howard are coming up very small thus far. If those two were producing like they have in the past we wouldn't be worrying about Wes Helms batting .250, or Aaron Rowand's lack of power. We need a big guns to step up!

GM-Carson said...

Manuel is a dumbass, I've maintained this stance for years. I've been telling you for quite some time the man can't even do simple math problems. 70-75 games is in fact more than 30-35, but he'll only log 70-85 innings in relief and 180-220 in the rotation...STUPID!!!

Dave Kingman said...

Carson, I agree but he was put into this position by the GM who couldn't trade a starter for BP help so he's stuck with 6 starters. Lieber sucked big time in the BP and there is no other candidate that could work there except Meyers.

furiousBall said...

You know I have a theory that if Brett Myers stopped plucking those eyebrows, it would grow into the most magnificent unibrow ever. I believe it would look similar to if Ernest Borgnine laid a straight cable of shit across his brow after eating about three bran muffins. Just a theory, mind you.

Dave Kingman said...

furiousball would they be raisin bran muffins by any chance?

Corey said...

we just went from a pitching debate to feces facial hair. which really isn't that easy of a transition. nicely done.

GM-Carson said...

I love the comment section on this site, never know what you're going to get. I need some laughs today fellas, tough time at the office...spice my day up please.

Corey said...

tough day, eh. did you lose your kickball game at recess? or did your "will you go out with me: yes or no" note return with a less than satisfactory response?

Dave Kingman said...

Carson, how would you like to swap your day in the office to the heat Fuqua must be feeling right now in his office.
Corey, look at it this way at least this is a healthy site since I assume the muffins are all bran. It could have been Lieber after he ate a dozen cream filled donuts.

BenJah said...

to fuqua: if being a reliever means you are in the games more, why do top relievers pitch only 60-80 innings and mediocre starters pitch 170-210 innings??

to "the arm": how did the guy you are attached to talk his wife into bailing him out of prison after you slapped the shit out of her?? is she that stupid or is he just that good of a salesman that he could sell iceboxes to eskimos??

GM-Carson said...

Actually, a fat bastard stole my Little Debbie, someone called me "stupid, and I've been put on time-out twice already.

GM-Carson said...

Question to "The Arm"- Could you please take that fist of aggression and pummel Fuqua with it until sense and intelligence are actually beaten into him? And don't worry, no aggrivated assault charge once Fuqua recognizes it was for his best.

Corey said...

carson, did you break the top of your pudding open with the handle of the spoon and suck it out the top?

the arm will answer all questions sometime this weekend...

question to the arm: if you are brett's "pleasuring arm," would that make you gay?

Corey said...

ryan madson had the 5th most unhittable change-up last year. That goes to show how freaking bad his other pitches are.

furiousBall said...

Carson, this note should cheer you up...


Dear Carson,

You are an asshole.

Love and kisses,
furiousBall

michael said...

i don't think the arm would be considered gay..he's just helping a friend out.

GM-Carson said...

FuriousBall- thanks, I needed that.

Better to be called an "asshole" than "stupid".

McD said...

Did anybody read Phil Sheridan's column in the Inquirer this morning? I wrote all about it on my blog. It was one of the most insulting pieces I have read in a long time. Sheridan should be ashamed of himself!

goDuke said...

Carson - it all depends on who's calling you stupid. Was it the same fat bastard who stole your Little Debbie? If so I see your point.

Jacobin said...

With all the Phillies left on base, you may be surprised to learn that the Phillies do not hold the national league record for men LOB in a single game. No, that distinction is held by the Cardinals from a game in 1928 when they left 18 men on base in a game against the Phillies!*

Oh, news out of Ottawa yesterday is that even though disrespected by the Phillies, Chris Coste scored the winning run in an 8th inning comeback for the Phils' AAA club.

*Note: Even though the Cardinals left 18 men on base in that game, the Phillies still found a way to lose 8-6.

goDuke said...

Question for the arm: How many more shaky Tom Gordon outtings do you have to see before you rip his arm off, leaving your owner as the only viable closer option?

Dave Kingman said...

mcd, I can see Sheridan's point. We blame Manuel for a bunch of underachieving athletes. Did this just start with him as manager or does it go back at least 14 years. I'm as frustrated as anyone, and believe he needs to go to shut people up and hope maybe the real attention will be turned to the underachieving GM. Remember when we couldn't wait for Bowa and Francona to be fired?

GM-Carson said...

Corey- I remember when we used to pack our lunches and you'd pop the top on your chocolate pudding at squeeze that stuff through the top...looked like you we're sucking on a turd!

Dave Kingman said...

carson, for that comment go back on time out. Oh shit someone just stole my juice box.

BenJah said...

corey: if you're looking for a change, just blog exclusively about the pirates for a week. that would shake things up a bit, and besides that, they are playing much better than the phucks in philly.

michael said...

mcd- i read your blog on that sheridan story, yeah maybe it was a little condescending but is he really wrong? the majority of the fans in this city are a bunch of ham and egger rubes who think they know everything about sports but only rehash what stations like WIP or newspapers like the daily news say. i don't think it was directed towards someone like us. and so what press people are the biggest douche bags ever more interested in being part of the story and making headlines for themselves than reporting.

carson don't let the kids tease you at school just say your dad can beat up their dads.

GM-Carson said...

My dad will beat some ass, he's got my back!

Corey said...

"top on your chocolate pudding at squeeze that stuff through the top...looked like you we're sucking on a turd!"

hmmm. seeing as how i hate chocolate pudding, i doubt you are remembering me. anybody who knows me, that is, people who are my friends, know i hate chocolate flavored food. you, my so-called-friend, are the shit eater.

Corey said...

sheridan is a douche. but i will say, i'm close to writing a blog defending manuel. basically, he should be fired because he sucks as a manager, etc. but this season is not is fault and it kind of pisses me off that people are jumping on the fire manuel bandwagon now because they are off to a bad start. he shouldn't be a scapegoat for this season, he should be canned because he's a hitting coach pretending to be a manager, not because the bullpen sucks and ryan howard is in a slump.

McD said...

I have to give Phil Sheridan a great deal of credit. I sent him an email expressing my displeasure with his column and he actually replied back!

He essentially said that he was attmepting to be funny in how he said that most fans in this city have no clue how to run a baseball team.

Obviously his sense of humor went right over my head and therefore weakened a great deal of my argument against him. Apparently I gave Phillies fans too much credit.

I still think Manuel should go, but it is not due to the poor start of this season. I can honestly say I did not want him here from day one, and I was not happy when Larry Bowa got fired.

Anyway, I commend Sheridan for writing back.

Go Phils!

michael said...

yeah thats pretty cool he actually took the time to write you back and explain what he was trying to say in his article. he's right though most fans in city don't know shit about running a baseball team. i was never in favor of manuel being the manager, i would of been fine for him as a hitting instructor because in all honesty with the indians he was very successful in that role.

GM-Carson said...

Corey- I know you don't care for chocolate stuff, but that would have ruined my story. "Never let the facts get in the way of telling a good story".

I never wanted Manuel to be the manager, and he is a dumb manager, and that's why he should be fired. He does not help this team in terms of in-game strategy, and therefore should be fired. This poor start is not his fault, he only shares a small portion of the blame, as the blame can be spread throughout the entire organization. Don't say "Fire Fuqua" because the Phils are 4-10, say it because he never deserved to be the leader of this team in the first place and continues to do a poor job in his position.

Can we finally win two games in a row tonight?

My guess is that Lieber is on a stupid pitch count of 75-80 pitches because he's coming from the 'pen...I hate pitch counts...pussy pitchers.

GM-Carson said...

By the way, Corey and I were mentioned over on BeerLeaguer today and there was a debate about who is the bigger asshole...I think I may have won.

BloodStripes said...

Nice to see the Donut put some donuts on the scoreboard.

BloodStripes said...

Charlie does it again with 3 relievers for one out. As if Leiber couldn't of finished the inning.

Myers did a good job of setting up. For another loss! Shit!

Tom has lost his flash. I feel sick in the guts.

chuckm said...

I give up.

BloodStripes said...

I can't take any more of these heartbreaking losses. Can't we just hold a couple. Very depressing watching the starters do well and the pen blowing it.

We don't have a bullpen. We have a hefferpen!

BloodStripes said...

We've got it all wrong. Fuqua is doing a great job. When he is asleep!

Can't we just pull him in the 6th. Fuaqua out, replacement manager in.

Bring in a frsh face. Nunez to Ottawa. Coste to Philly!

Are you hungry yet Corey?

Jacobin said...

One out from a mother fucking one-hitter and Suck Gordon serves up the game tying homer. The only Phillies run came off a throwing error.

Has anyone seen Jackass 2? The scene where the guy shits on the little doll house size bathroom... that's this team.

das411 said...

Why, I ask you guys, can't the Phils proactively discover an injury on Flash like the Marlins did to Jorge Julio??

And seriously, who wants to call up Urbina and see if we can't swap Nunez over there for the next 14 years?