Monday, April 09, 2007

Smooth Move Exlax

Patty G better watch his back when the Phils return to Philly because I'm guessing he's a wanted man. I cut our GM a lot of slack last season because it was his 1st in Philly and he was trying to clean up the Ed Wade mess. However, he's now creating his own muddle with numerous personnel blunders. Allow me to recap some of the major gaffes he's committed thus far.

Crappy Moves:
1. Trading All-Star RF Bobby Abreu and starting pitcher Cory Lidle to the Yanks for an unproven Matt Smith and some minor league trash. I know many fans were excited to see Abreu and his lackluster style play get a one-way ticket out of town along with his huge paycheck, but we should have gotten at least Melky Cabrera, a true prospect or Scott Proctor, and Matt Smith in that deal.

2. Trading our switch-hitting crazy-ass starting pitcher Vincente Padilla for essentially nothing. Gillick saw we were getting a Rodriguez in return and figured that meant the guy was good. Doesn't pay to be stereotypical Pat, as Ricardo Rodriguez was released by the end of spring training in '06.

3. Singing the worthless Alex Gonzalez (who retired), Abe Nunez (2 year pact for a player who can't hit), and Sal Fasano (did have the Fu Man Chu) in the 2006 offseason did not help the Phillies out in any way.

4. Signing Jayson Werth (hasn't played in MLB for 2 seasons), Adam Eaton (vastly overpaid), and Rod Barajas (wasted millions on catching we already had Ruiz/Coste) this offseason has not helped the Phils yet, and probably won't.

5. The bullpen last season was a problematic area for the Phillies, largely due in part to Gillick's boys Ryan Franklin and Arthur Rhodes.

6. The 2007 edition of the bullpen has killed the Phils already, and this is due to the same old crap being out there. Gillick didn't land 1 quality reliever, that's just piss-poor.

7. Simply put, retaining the services of Charles Fuqua Manuel is a mistake.

What has been Pat Gillicks worst move?
Abreu and Lidle Trade
Padilla Trade
'06 Signings- Gonzalez, Fasano, Nunez
'07 Signings- Eaton, Barajas, Werth
'06 Bullpen- Rhodes and Franklin
'07 Bullpen- Same Old Crap
Keeping Charles Fuqua Manuel
  
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The recently demoted Zach Segovia looks and pitches like Russ Ortiz, but who has the chubbier face?

~Carson

43 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I almost punched a hole through my dad's big screen tv yesterday when Wheeler said- "and that is the first run surrendered by Alfonseca this season", as if he'd pitched 3 previous 9-inning shutouts or something miraculous like that. He had 2 outings that he didn't give up a run...whoopty-doo!

GM-Carson said...

By the way, I voted for the Abreu trade. I am happy Victorino is a starter now, but he should be the starting CF with Bobby still in right. I know Bobby didn't "hustle" in the eyes of many, but to get next to nothing in a trade for him is pitiful. One of the best on-base machines of the past 10 years got traded for an unproven lefty reliever and a pile of minor league crap...that's bad. And to top it off, Lidle was thrown into the deal, who probably could have gotten more than Matt Smith from another club.

michael said...

the abreu trade was crap. i didn't care really that he was traded or corey lidle but the fact we couldn't get anything for him was rediculous. gillick was too desperate to get rid of him and should of waited till the offseason to do it. but i voted for his 06 signings..they were awful!!!!

GM-Carson said...

With every passing game, it becomes more and more evident that Rod Barajas SUCKS! His defense is good, I'll give him that, but he can't hit. Carlos Ruiz has a decent stick and he's still learning, plus his defense is fine, therefore Ruiz should be the starter. No need for a multi-million dollar backup...Coste can hit, he should be on the squad playing 2-3 games a week instead of Barajas.

Eaton may still end up being decent, but I doubt it.

GM-Carson said...

From FoxSports- Phils GM Pat Gillick did not accompany the team to New York last night. He's scheduled to testify tomorrow in Key West, Fla., at the trial of agent Gustavo "Gus" Dominguez, who faces up to 45 years in prison after being charged with 53 counts of trying to illegally smuggle Cuban baseball players into the United States.

*He needs to illegally smuggle some good ones into our bullpen and farm system.

The Phillies optioned rookie righthanders Zack Segovia and Joe Bisenius to triple-A Ottawa after yesterday's game to make room for righthanders Jon Lieber and Francisco Rosario.
Lieber, who had been on the disabled list with a strained right abdominal muscle, and Rosario, acquired Thursday in a trade with the Toronto Blue Jays, will be in uniform for today's series opener against the Mets in New York.

furiousBall said...

The Schilling trade was the worst one I can remember...

On another note, watch this video clip of my son's bearded dragon. At 19 seconds in, he stops eating crickets when he sees Garry Templeton. It's like he's afraid Garry's gonna hit him with the miniature bat.

GM-Carson said...

Oh my goodness, if I did a post on Ed Wade's biggest mistake, it would have to be a 16 part series for crying out loud...that man was horrible as a GM.

No-Hit Nunez gets his 1st start of the season today, and Chooch in the 6th slot...interesting.

GM-Carson said...

John Maine kills the Phillies. He made short work of the top of our order in the top of the 1st. Hamels may need to toss a no-hitter.

This series was supposed to be hyped up as a rivalry between NL East powerhouses...Phils look more like a joke.

GM-Carson said...

Where the hell is everyone today? I'm talking to myself...loser!

Anyway, Pat Burrell now has a 6 game hitting streak. The others (Utley and Howard) need to step it up!

GM-Carson said...

Ryan Howard will be fine eventually, but right now he SUCKS. He is hampering this offense's ability to score. Every game Howard has come up small in RBI situations. Yes, he did knock in 2 on Sunday, but he failed later in the game...we NEED him!

GM-Carson said...

The Phils have loaded the bases twice today with no outs and have scored 1 shitty run so far. 1 run is horrible. I hate the Phillies, they're stupid. I'm about to switch allegiance to a winner...DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reagan316 said...

Finally the LOB kings come through with some much needed runs. Hopefully this means that Ryan Howard is back now.

No more errors and PLEASE do not blow this one bullpen.

Corey said...

1 run lead with 2 innings left, i say 75% percent chance of losing this one...

Jacobin said...

Hey, with a one run lead who can blame Manuel for letting Geary hit for himself to lead off the inning?! I know I'm not a major league baseball manager, but I'm fairly certain he isn't either.

Corey said...

"I know I'm not a major league baseball manager, but I'm fairly certain he isn't either." that is the kind of thinking that this blog is based on...at least i can laugh as the phils cough up another lead.

Corey said...

is it time to start losing on purpose for a better draft pick?

GM-Carson said...

The Phillies are pieces of shit. I'm being serious. Matt Smith sucks, Geoff Geary sucks, Ryan Howard can't field. Jimmy Rollins blew a double play ball...I am disgusted right now. I am ashamed to be a Phillies fan.

Jacobin said...

Leave Geary in, and walk the bases loaded with one out. What is it with Fuqua and leaving relievers in until they give up runs?! Up comes Jose Reyes (did you notice how gay the music is they play when he comes to bat?) and it's a tie game with a ground ball that should have been at least one out. Follow this up with a wild pitch that allows the go ahead run to come in (still only one out)! *&$@*$%@#!!! This team is killing me and the season isn't even two weeks old.

We go from being up to seeing Billy Wagner come in to save the game within the space of a few minutes. Losing hurts and I know you cannot win every game, but this is f^@$ing brutal.

Shit, it might not be a save situation by the time they get to the ninth considering its still only one out with the bases loaded.

GM-Carson said...

Fire Manuel. I HATE him, and that's not an exaggeration. This team is the worst in MLB right now. They are quite literally a joke...other teams laugh at us, other fans laugh at us. Royals fans are talking shit on us.

Reagan316 said...

I HATE THE PHILLIES!!!

On a positive note, the decision to send Jon Leiber to the bullpen is working great.

GM-Carson said...

Wow, 11-5 now!

Guess what, as we knew, Jon Lieber isn't a reliever.

Mets fans are now chanting "Jimmy Rollins", now that's funny. Almost as funny as me predicted 92 wins from this piece of shit team.

GM-Carson said...

I am going to kill the bastards who came up with this "goosebumps" ad campaign. I don't have goosebumps, I have high blood pressure and fury pumping through my veins now.

Reagan316 said...

I was born a Phillies fan and after 26 years of this shit, I'm done. I'm gonna start following a real team like the Royals. At least they have two wins.

Jacobin said...

Seven runs from only four hits and an error. We go from being up by one heading to the ninth, to trailing by six!

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Heads need to roll. This is fucking ludicrous. I don't care how bad your bullpen is; you should accidentally hold a lead in one of these games.

GM-Carson said...

This is the maddest I've ever been as a Phils fan. If that pussy Pat Gillick doesn't fire Manuel and publicly apologize to the fanbase for making shitty personnel decisions I quit being a fan.

Of course I say I quit, but I can't do it, the Phils unfortunately are a part of me.

GM-Carson said...

Corey- I'd appreciate if you did the post for tomorrow as I don't feel it would be appropriate to do a post filled with nothing but the words "shit, fuck, and suck".

Corey said...

didn't think i'd have to bring back my "distractions" posts this early in the year. get ready for another mr. belvedere post...

Maria said...

How will we ever be able to win games? We're pathetic.

The Dierkes Circus said...

you forgot trading bell and cormier for players we released, and trading for garcia, who's now hurt and looking like damaged goods. and gordon's terrible. pretty much every move.

Jacobin said...

Through seven games, the Phillies have left 68 runners on base!!! 68 runners! In only one game have they left less than 8 runners on base, and that would be their lone win (in that game they left 5).

What I don't know is how many of those LOBs were at some point in scoring position with less than two outs! That should be an interesting statistic. So early in the season and already it seems like a broken record that they have runners on second and third with one or no outs and yet they cannot push one of those runs across.

68! 68! 68! Un-fuqua-believable.

Chris said...

On a more positive note, Wheels 4 HOF Action Blog has been updated: http://wheels4hof.blogspot.com/

Los said...

I guess Ed Wade was responsible for sending the craniumally dominating Placido Polanco ... he would've looked good at third base.

BenJah said...

gillick's biggest mistake is not trading that overrated fuckwad jimmy rollins.

and los, i couldnt agree more w/ you on super-dome placido polanco

*benjah is to rollins as los is to burrell

Whelkman said...

I still blame Burrell. Somehow he's taken the talent from Howard and Utley and grafted it onto himself. An unnatural abomination I say!

michael said...

i blame rowand for it all..from his shit fielding to his even worse hitting..its getting to the point where your just laughing because you cant believe they're yet again blowing a late game lead.

Bob D said...

I blame Steve Jeltz

das411 said...

I do like this quote from Deadspin today: "You have to admit, Jimmy Rollins was right, the Phillies really are the team to beat this year. 6 out of 7 so far."

das411 said...

and re: the poll Q, I had to vote for this year's moves. As bad as the Abreu trade may look now, no way would we have any expectations for this year if they had not shipped him out and turned the team over to (those bums) Utley and Howard.

No, the two biggest moves I don't understand were signing Barajas (Ruiz and Coste did a fine job last year, no?) and Eaton. I don't understand why Patty G went and created this logjam in the rotation without a deal already in place to swap Lieber...any of the ones we discussed this winter would be helping the team now, hell I'd rather see even Turnbow coming in late than the guys we keep running out there now. And even if Gillick spent some of Eaton's $8m/yr on a bat or two at the deadline, there is still another $16m we will not have to try and bring back a certain #38 this next offseason...

ps: would we really, *really* rather have an ed wade special like trading kyle drabek for solomon torres, right now? there are still 155 games left, weeks like this are why the season is a marathon and not a sprint.

GM-Carson said...

Holy Shit it's a Whelkman siting! Where have you been brotha? We have been missing you!

I'd trade Kyle Drabek for Solomon Torres. I'd trade Kyle Drabek for Doug Drabek at this point!

I used to refer to Polanco as "Alien Head". His head looked like a figue-8, with huge top and large jaw, but small in the middle.

klkatz said...

When I was a kid.. somehow Smooth Move ExLax turned into Smooth Move Hernandez... and I'm not sure how... and i'm pretty sure it was associated with Keith Hernandez... did anyone else have this experience...

GM-Carson said...

Let me tell you about a prank Corey pulled on me...I was a fat kid in love with candy. So Corey got the Butterfinger BB's and rolled them in some melted chocolate exlax and watched my fat ass eat the entire bag. Needless to say, within 4 hours I was ready to explode.

Whelkman said...

Whelkman meant to tune in during the off season but didn't like the trading/politics going on and ignored this team for a few months, hoping for the best in 2007. I guess I'm not a good "hoper".

I wanted to wait until I had something positive to say, but I guess "Burrell actually doesn't suck ass so far" will have to do.

I guess I can also say Hamels looked consistent in spring training. I remarked that even if he doesn't improve at all, Hamels can have a fine career if he maintains his current output.

GM-Carson said...

It's nice to have you back Whelkman, even if finding a positive is difficult.