Sunday, April 08, 2007

Rotten Eggs on Easter Day

When I was a child, up through age 21 that is, my mom used to fill an Easter basket for me with my favorite candies and a present, then hide it and make me search the house for it. I was a fat kid, so I was elated to find some peanut butter eggs, Cadbury's creme eggs, jelly beans, along with other assorted sugary goodies and usually a video game I've been waiting to play. I wake up this Easter morning to sub-freezing temperatures and a big fat smelly rotten egg, a.k.a. the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies, who are now a lousy 1-4.

Rotten Eggs:
*Brett Myers is the ace of the staff, and even aces go through their share of pitfalls. Last night was a huge dropoff for Myers, as the drummer from Def Leppard who only has 1 arm could have knocked a double in the gap off of Brett. Now that he got his token 1 crappy start out of the way, he can go on to dominate the rest of the season.
*Ryan Howard is the beast of our offense, but he has been utterly pathetic thus far. I have full confidence that he will end 2007 with sparkling numbers similar to his 2006 stats, but through 5 games the the Blaster-Master is 3-19 with ZERO RBI and 7 k's...step it up!
*Fence-Face Rowand is supposed to be the inspirational lead-by-example player on our squad. I'd like to see him do something besides pop-up to middle infielders or strike out when there are runner on the bases...and grow a set of shoulders while you're at it, that's just unnatural.
*Fire Charles Fuqua Manuel...really. No, seriously, I'm not screwing around, fire that half-wit redneck with a speech impediment! Ryan Madson sucks, this much we know, but it was refreshing to see him log 2 scoreless innings in yesterday's game. 2 innings from a reliever is decent, but our resident R-Tard marches him back to the mound for a 3rd and demoralizing inning...don't press your luck!
*Patty G has went phishing for relief and caught Franciso Rosario and Rick Bauer, and now is tossing out his line one more time in an effort to reel in Dustin Hermanson. Why the hell are we scrambling for bullpen help now when we had an entire offseason to deal with it? This is yet another reason why Corey and I should be GM's.

Zach Segovia makes his MLB debut today, and has the added pressure of the Phils horrendous start on his shoulder on top of that. We need a win, because this season already looks far too much like the past two, so I'm ending today's entry on a positive note- Happy Easter!

~Carson

20 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I wonder how long Gillick and Co. wait to fire Manuel. I didn't want it to have to come to this, because firing=losing. I'm not blaming Manuel for the losses, but he surely isn't helping either.

If you're looking for a good laugh, check out http://morehardball.blogspot.com

Rich said...

Try doing what these guys did with their creme eggs... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5vxsJRsHbw

GM-Carson said...

Well hello there Rich and welcome! Very interesting first comment to leave on our site. To be quite honest, my mom still gets me Easter candy and I'm 27 years old now with my own child on the way...always a kid at heart.

GM-Carson said...

Chris Coste has been activated from the DL and sent to Triple A Ottawa.

I have to think Gillick would have been wise to let Carlos Ruiz be the starting catcher and allow Chris Coste be the backup. Rod Barajas isn't a very good hitter, and his defense will not outshine Ruiz's by much. The millions wasted on Barajas could have been better spent on a reliever such as Jamie Walker or Chad Bradford.

Los said...

Funny thing though - all of these guys are going through some really bad times, and Pat Burrell is playing well ... this must be the Bizarro Phillies.

GM-Carson said...

Los- I'll make this easy on you. Come hop on the Burrell bandwagon now and we'll let bygones be bygones. Declare your love here and now, and all is good in this hood.

kentucky phils phan said...

hopefully we step it up today...we need to...i'm with you carson, we should fire manuel because he is terrible...and ryan howard i'm not worried about i just hope he gets out of the slump...CARLOS RUIZ IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER!...haha sorry about that random fact...and i think myers is still our ace, yesterday wsa a fluke.

Cavalier92 said...

I'll just put it this way. At least it can't get any worse.

McD said...

Oh it got worse today. FOURTEEN men were left on base. FOURTEEN!

Elmer Fudd, aka Charlie Manuel must go. Since he became the Phillies skipper, the team has gone 21-33 during the month of April. That includes the 1 win and 5 losses of this young season. I know that the season is very long, but when your April winning percentage is hovering around .390 you are just shooting yourself in the foot.

Serenity Now!

chuckm said...

Man, if I start going off about todays game, I may never stop. So, I'll not botrher with the rant but do have a question. Why was Victorino not starting today (I watched the game in a pub with no sound)? It would make sense to have your fleetest players possible in that cavern of a stadium. Shane would have made those two plays that Werh couldnt and that was the game right there. That and the strand-a-thon.

BloodStripes said...

This is really starting to look bad. Manuel sucks. Vic should be in everyday. Man I hope Hamels kicks it tomorrow. We need his good stuff for a CG win.

C'mon Phillies!!! Pick it up.

GM-Carson said...

Game Thoughts:

1. Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are coming up extremely short in crucial situations.

2. The offense as a whole sucks. We lead the league in strikeouts and men left on base...correlation?

3. Ryan Howad's defense is bad. I kept hearing all spring how he improved, well he's committed 2 errors so far and booted other plays that went unscored as errors.

4. ChuckM- I am right there with ya in regards to Vic should be starting. Werth botched 2 plays that lead to a HUGE inning. We honestly may have won that game if Vic was starting in RF. Screw this bullshit about getting bench guys their ab's...play the best players!!!

5. Rod Barajas is a horrible signing! He cannot hit. Pointless acquistion by Gillick.

6. This team is bad right now, really f'n bad. You all know I hate Manuel, but I don't blame him entirely. However, heads need to roll and his is the first on the chopping block.

GM-Carson said...

By the way- Zach Segovia looks just like Russ Ortiz, but he has 3 chins.

klkatz said...

Too early to fire Fudd... let's let Garcia and Lieber come back and then see where we're at...

I have a poll set up on my site, The Phillies Chronicles... please let me know what you think the reason is for our early demise

McD said...

Serenity Now!

I know it made Lloyd Braun go crazy, but it is making me feel pretty good right now.

GM-Carson said...

It's never too early to fire Charles Fuqua Manuel. He should have never been hired to begin with and has made countless decisions over the past 2+ seasons that have cost the Phils playoff spots and he obviously isn't doing too well at motivating either...hence the 1-5 start. I can't blame him for everything, but like I said, someone's head has to roll and it needs to be his.

Jacobin said...

It's just nauseating. 1-5 going to New York to take on the Mets. Maybe they'll surprise us and sweep the orange and blue queers from queens... then again maybe they'll drop three more.

As far as FIRING FUQUA, you're right... he should never have been hired to manage (the guy is a hitting coach, not a strategist). How many games back is the magic number? How many games can the Phils be down to the division leader before Gillick pulls the trigger and gives the reins over to Jimmy Williams? I'm guessing if they go 10 down, he'll be done.

Malcolm said...

If this keeps up, Manuel is gone by May 1.

das411 said...

You guys really want Jimy Williams running this team? Not the dude who taught Howard, Utley, and Rollins how to hit? Or kept the team from tanking after their freefalls the last two years? Really?

Cole is our stopper. The turnaround begins tomorrow, with 7 strong innings from him and then Rosario and Gordon shutting down the Mutts, then we win the Duel of the Ancient Lefties on Thurs and all of a sudden we're only two games back of the suddenly reeling NYM...

GM-Carson said...

Jimy Williams actually seems from the same mold as Charlie Manuel to me...dumb old fat guy.

Winning cures all, and I need healing.