Monday, April 23, 2007

The Return Of...

You make enough predictions and some are bound to come true. Example- I called Aaron Rowand's homerun on Saturday. I also forecast Tom Gordon's blown save on Friday (even Ray Charles from the grave saw that one coming). In addition, I said the Phillies would yank Jon Lieber in the neighborhood of 75-80 pitches even if he's pitching well (pulled after 77 while throwing a 1-hitter). Furthermore, I said Ryan Howard's injury, if not serious, could be a blessing in disguise because he needs a mental and physical break. Guess what? His injury is not serious, only missed 3 games. His mental health restored- 1 homerun, 3 RBI, and 1 walk yesterday...the return of Oracle Carson. Then again I'm the optimistic fool who predicted 92 wins (only 86 more to go) and a World Series championship from this club.

Going with the theme of predictions, I will also want to point out that I said the Phils needed one solid game of production offensively or a big inning to get this offensive monster kicking and screaming. 9 runs yesterday, capped off by a 4 run 9th inning ought to do it. Chase Utley is hitting the ball again, and as mentioned above Howard is back in the lineup and looks to be taking a better approach. The rest of the regulars have respectable batting averages- Rollins (.280), Victorino (.297), Helms (.286), Burrell (.302), Rowand (.355), and Ruiz (.283). Now if Fuqua could manage to keep No-Hit Nuni and Anti-Hit Barajas out of the lineup, we may actually see the Phils get on an offense roll and begin winning with regularity.

J-Roll is no stranger to foretelling of future outcomes, "The Phillies are the team to beat in the NL East this season.". Here are some more predictions from the omnipotent one- If Uncle Cholly continues to use Brett Myers in pointless relief situations (see yesterday's 9th inning of a 9-2 game) he will wear him out by July. If you're a betting man, it's safe to lay some money down on Matt Smith walking at least 1 batter per outing (8 games with 8 walks in only 3.1 IP). Patty G is an intelligent man, as he picked Antonio Alfonseca off the scrap heap, and not just because he's pitching outstanding, but because I see him as a great draw at the Ringlin Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus...extra revenue! He could chill out under the big top with the bearded lady, the kid with lobster hands, and goatboy.

Ok, enough of Jimmy's envisions, here's one of my own- Phils beat the Ass-tros tonight to extend their "winning streak" to a mind-bottling (it's when your thoughts are all mixed up and stuck like in a bottle) 3 games.

~Carson

43 comments:

Corey said...

barajas could be this year's alex gonzalez...

carson, i'm questioning your oracle-ness. we have to take your word on 2 of the 3 "predictions" and the third, you're giving yourself credit for a question?

"Do you think Lieber is going to have a stupid pitch count of 75-80 pitches because he's coming from the 'pen?"

i'm not convinced. you need to make a prediction or two on the blog to affirm your oracle status.

speaking of lieber, did he look, i cringe to say it...skinny, to anyone? did he switch to lite donuts over the winter?

GM-Carson said...

Corey- Lieber lost some weight by eating the traditional donuts with holes in the middle instead of the cream-filled ones.

I understand your skeptisism on my oracle-ness...I'll convince you yet!

Bob D said...

With 8 games left this month could they turn the worst April in a decade around to a winning one? If they go 7-1 they will be 13-12 - go figure.
The starters have been doing an exceptional job this last week.

Yes, Lieber was a few donuts short this last week - he started looking like that little kid Carson got in trouble for posting before changing the picture from X-rated to G-rated.

Corey said...

also, there needs to be talk on the role of myers in the 9th inning yesterday. the defenders will use the line "he already warmed up, you might as well bring him in the game" which makes me sick to my stomach to hear. no way myers should have been in there. fine, he warms up, but with a 3 run lead, somebody else has to be at least tossing, figuring they might score and make it a non-save situation (hello, RYAN MADSON) instead, the phils score a bunch, and myers is wasting pitches in mop up. madson hasn't pitched in days, he should have been up in the pen and ready to go for the ninth, especially now that it is alfonseca-geary-gordon-myers in the late innings, madson role is mop-up now. really ticked me off.

Corey said...

bob d, i believe you are comparing lieber to carson's posting of "naked african boy penis." please end comparison there, because if i see jon lieber's junk on this blog, i'm freaking done...

GM-Carson said...

Madson or Francisco Rosario would have been the logical picks to pitch the 9th of a game in which the Phils had a comfortable 7 run lead. Manuel is stupid, this much we know is true, why would be expect him to make the logical choice?

Corey said...

even with a seven run lead, i wouldn't be comfortable with madson in the game, maybe fugua isn't either.

GM-Carson said...

I'd be comfortable with Madson in Ottawa or released. Same goes for Matt Smith, has he needs to work out his kinks in his mechanics in the minors, not against MLB players that don't swing aimlessly at pitches 2 feet out of the strike zone. Bring up the Model Dictator to be our lefty out of the 'pen!

michael said...

so Linebrink is rumored to be on the block. The Pads are looking for a 3B (which we don't have) or a LF...hmm..any thoughts? you guys are the GMs.

goDuke said...

I talked to Lieber after the game the other day. The reason why he looks slimmer is that he has switched to donut holes for the season. Once the offseason starts again, he'll go back to the entire donut. He's looking to try something different in hopes that it'll keep him healthy.

GM-Carson said...

I will not trade Burrell for Linebrink, no way! I'd trade Jayson Werth though plus a low level prospect...doubt that's enough though.

michael said...

yeah i think burrell for linebrink is waayy to high of a price. i don't think we really have anything to send them right now. if they are set on either a starting caliber 3B or LF. how about no hit nunez, roberson, and werth?

GM-Carson said...

If the Pads actually accepted a bid of Nuni, Werth, and Roberson for Scott Linebrink, it would be certain that Linebrink has a torn rotator cuff.

michael said...

hahaha..your exactly right. alright..i'll throw in barajas as well. blockbuster deal.

GM-Carson said...

Barajas can't be traded without his consent before June 1st, because he was a free agent, and that is in the collective bargaining agreement. But if we tell him he sucks, which he obviously does, and that's he's being demoted to 3rd string catcher, maybe he'll agree to a trade...if only baseball operations really worked this way.

Dave Kingman said...

How about Eaton after June 1st and his bloated salary for Linebrink. He did have some success for the Padres in the past, plus he won't give up as many long balls in PETCO.

michael said...

hmm..but that means we keep leiber everyone is ok with that? i still can't believe barajas is on this team..wow.

so i saw in your post the mentioning of the lobster boy, i met him when i was a kid. he wasn't so much a boy as he was 40 something drunk man. i saw him at the state fair with my dad when they still had freak shows. i went in and there was lobster boy sitting on this platform in a wheel chair with his awful hands and feet i remember he was like 'come closer, don't be shy' and then asked if i wanted an autograph, i said yes and i think it cost my dad like $4 for a signed picture of lobster boy. i really wish i still had that picture. he was creepy and then he was later murdered by his wife and brother.

GM-Carson said...

Michael- thanks for the horribly funny yet depressing tale of Lobsterboy and his plight.

michael said...

haha your welcome. i remember when my dad showed me the article in the newspaper about when he was killed, he left in the freak show commune in florida. i forget the name of the exact town but jerry springer has done shows about it, its wild. i still remember those "claws" waving me over and his slurred whiskey voice to this day. i was very much into going to freak shows when i was a little boy. they were always very awkward than anything else.

GM-Carson said...

Ryan Howard returned to the lineup, hit a homer and said, "About damn time." *That's what I like to hear!

I know it's only 1 game, but I think we're going to see the "good" Ryan Howard more times from here on out than the "bad" Ryan Howard.

Bob D said...

Don't forget that Utley has come to life the last few days with the bat. So watch out as the Phils are now the team that DOES the beat(ing).

Linebrink for Werth, Roberson, Nunez, or Helms (only if Nunez is not the starter). Maybe the Phils should shop for a middle IF to be a backup and cut the no-hit wonder.

Recall Coste and drop Barajas.

Send Madson away in a trade (still too valuable to release - he would be picked up within minutes of his release).

Send Smith down recall someone else for now (Castro, Yoel Hernandez, etc.)

Jacobin said...

Two in a row is sweet, but we gotta thump some people for the next two weeks to make this count. Yes, we need to recall Coste! Have you seen his message to the fans who have been emailing him? It's a good read, take a look at it on his site www.chriscoste.com.

Trust in the three C's: Cole, Chase, Coste!

GM-Carson said...

How much longer do the Phils suffer through Matt Smith walk-fits before sending him down?

How much longer does the team put up with Nunez's inability to hit and Werth's inability to play defense?

Chris Coste and Model Dictator to the rescue!

michael said...

exactly, i realize its only the first month of the season but how many screw ups does it take to figure out they just aren't the option we need.

Jacobin said...

That's kind of like trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop (an average of 144, or a gross of licks, according to a human study done by the Swathmore School).

Wait, someone figured out how many licks it takes, so I guess that's a bad analogy. Oh well, the truth is we're stuck with those assholes until Gillick swallows his pride and ships them out.

GM-Carson said...

All of the Phillies players are wearing #42 tonight in honor of Jackie Robinson. I love the attention and tribute being paid to him.

I truly believe that Major League Baseball needs to make a concentrated effort to bringing baseball back to the city. I worked in the School District of Philadelphia for 2 years and I don't ever remember the kids talking about playing baseball, nor did a see a baseball field for them to use. The percentage of blacks in the game today is low, something like 6%, lowest in quite some time. MLB needs to donate millions of dollars to major cities across the nation so they can be outfitted properly and give the kids an option besides basketball or football. Too many outstanding athletes are wasting away in our cities because the opportunity to play this great game of baseball is simply not readily available for them. I'm not trying to say only blacks live in cities, or vice versa, I'm stating simple fact that cities are a plethora of untapped baseball talent.

Other's take on this?

michael said...

well i live in philadelphia and theres baseball fields in my neighborhood that are always full of kids playing come to think of it there are A LOT of baseball fields where in the area i live that are always full of kids playing on it. its more popular around here than football and maybe even basketball as far as organized sports goes. but i think there definately should be something done citywide not just in the inner-cities to make sure all the fields are taken care off proper equipment given to the kids, etc.

Corey said...

i think mlb is making a concentrated effort to bringing baseball back to the city with the RBI program.

it's not hard to understand though why baseball isn't popular with the socioeconomically challenged inner city population. a good (even usable) baseball field requires a lot of maintainence and money. not exactly abundent in most of these areas. also, pick-up baseball, unlike almost every other sport, requires a large number of people and organization. the list goes on and on. this topic is fascinating and deserves a greater medium than this to really dissect.

does anyone know of any books that deal specifically with this issue. if so, shout it, i would love to know.

Bob D said...

I live in Ocean County NJ and we have alot of BB fields and they are used alot. Little League is very big here. Minor Leagues are popular as the BlueClaws are a big draw. If I'm not mistaken they have the highest A ball attendance each year since they started.

I am actually in the battle zone here for fans. This is the spot where Philly, Met, and Yankee fans all converge. So I have to hear almost daily about Rollins statement of "team to BEAT". Or I hear -thank you for Wagner, hows Gordon doing?. And the list goes on. Atleast when I drive on the Parkway I can cut off a few 'New Yorkers' on the way to work. Take that you Met fan!! The bullpen blew another one - so eat some trees you Yankee fan!!!

And to think some people say I have issues.

GM-Carson said...

I agree this issue is far more than saying "need good fields" or "need money". I love baseball, it's my passion. I only played other sports to take up time. Baseball takes 18 people to be played probably. Sure you can play catch with only 2, or hit off of a tee by yourself, but to the average kid that doesn't have a lot of appeal. I'd love to see MLB market some of it's black players better- Ryan Howard being a prime example. Get excited back into the game for people of all races and ethnicities. I knew of the RBI program, but lets get it more pub and more donors. I'd hate to see this great game continue to lose diversity without a fight. I know some players like CC Sabathia have started to speak up about the lack of blacks in the game and we need more people speaking up and promoting the game, not just blacks, but whites, japanese, and hispanics...everyone!

BenJah said...

i totally agree that mlb needs more black players....but i hate when people pervert that statement to mean that black people don't have a chance in professional sports. have you seen an NBA or NFL roster lately??

the lack of black ownership IN ALL SPORTS, and the lack of black management in every sport except basketball is the real problem. the only thing i like about the mets is willie randolph: can't hate on that guy.

Los said...

I predict Adam Eaton will have a good start tonight .... until about the 5th inning.

Corey said...

or maybe the lead off batter will go deep...

Corey said...

before i can even change my clothes and get to a tv, the phils are losing. jeebus, this gets old quick. what else is on tonight?

klkatz said...

I think Adam easton is a gamer and will win a few for us... he's definitely an athlete and someone who hustles... he'll compete and win a few games on competitiveness alone.

Whelkman said...

Phils win, Phils lose. Regardless, Gary Matthews keeps saying "J-Rowe", making an already bad nickname worse than Black Sox, Pete Rose, and HGH combined.

Whelkman said...

I'm kinda sick of these "if other teams wave their gloves somewhere near the Phil going to third base, it's an out" calls. Last time, the runner wasn't remotely tagged but was out with no appeal. This time, he's safe, but of course there's an appeal if there's a chance to screw the Phillies.

Whelkman said...

A phrase to summarize this game:

"Everybody hits! Woohoo!"

BloodStripes said...

Whelkman is back. Alright mate!

Top win. 20 hits. Jimmy just missing the cycle.

Bloody awesome. The Phils are back. Well almost.

Jacobin said...

Woooo! Stomped them asstros! This is how it is supposed to work. We get a ton of people on base and then someone drives them home. Hopefully the hit parade will continue long enough for us to get out of the sub-.500 zone.

Skeeter said...

I was at the game tonight. It was probably the happiest I have been in 2007.

Also, Carson, good Blades of Glory reference. I saw it last week. Very funny. It was one of Will Ferrell's best work, I think.

das411 said...

"Hey maybe this team ain't so fuckin bad!"

/major league

and Carson, how can you possibly tire out Myers in the bullpen when you've gotten "200 quality innings" from him every year so far?

GM-Carson said...

Skeeter- I loved Blades of Glory, but hated the Talledega Nights-Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

Das411- Brett Myers wasn't available to pitch in yesterday's game because Manuel "had" to use him in the 9th on Sunday since he already warmed up in the bullpen. I'm not a MLB pitcher, but there's a HUGE difference between tossing in the 'pen then working a real game...Manuel is a dumbass!