Sunday, April 22, 2007

Mixed Nuts

Stat Attack:
Phillies Batting- .251 AVG, 67 R, 14 HR, 8 SB, 111 K, 86 BB, .356 OB%, .390 SLG%, .746 OPS.
NL Average- .254 AVG, 73 R, 14 HR, 9 SB, 107 K, 60 BB, .330 OB%, .391 SLG%, .721 OPS.
Basically, our monster offense is putting runners on base, just failing to score them, which equates to below average production. Situational hitting has been a pitfall for this club for quite some many years now, and it doesn't look to improve.

Phillies Pitching- 4.77 ERA, .266 AVG against, 64 BB, 111 K, .801 OPS against, 18 HR, 15 SB, 1.46 WHIP.
NL Average- 3.82 ERA, .252 AVG against, 60 BB, 107 K, .716 OPS against, 13 HR, 9 SB, 1.36 WHIP.
Our pitching staff hasn't exactly been helping their cause, as they've performed well below what is to be expected. The rotation and bullpen have each experienced ups and downs so far this season, rarely turning in a solid effort together in the same game.

Overall this season has been one enormous letdown. Defense has been sub par failing to make the routine plays and coming up short on the spectacular ones. The offense strands runners on base leaving the already piss-poor pitching to the wolves. Oh, I almost forgot, our manager isn't exactly a genius either.


WSBGM's Phantasy League Standings:
1. Jobu's Rum- apparently Jobu can hit the curveball now.
2. Rico Suave- I disliked Rico Brogna and Gerardo.
3. Skeet on the Mets- Lil' Jon called, and he wants his slang back.
4. Honey Nut Ichiros- Ichiro is pissed about the pub Dice-K is getting.
5. Master Batters- masterbators?
6. FuriousBall- this is the Phils' version of "Moneyball".
7. BloodStripes- should have never named your team in reference to a bunch of losers.
8. MVPs- Most Viral Penises, better get that checked out.
8. No-Talent-Ass-Clowns- I suck, where's Danny Sandoval when I need him?
10. Brett's Wife Beaters- it's all good now, he's in the 'pen, fear not Kim.
11. Fuquas-Wife-Hates-Me- and I hate Fuqua.
12. The 700 Level- oh the good ol' days of the Vet.
13. Baltimore Bums- Baltimore Blows!
14. BALCO Bombers- steroids shrink testicles and ruin lives...just say no!
15. GodisaWoman- I beg to differ.


Game Thoughts:
*Victorino is awesome. I love watching him play the outfield. He gets amazing jumps on balls and then has a gun for an arm. He's still developing as a MLB hitter, but we've already seen progress this season with his base stealing instincts. I honestly believe if Manuel, or whatever schmuck ends up being the manager, trots Shane out to RF every day, the league will notice his defense and reward him with a Gold Glove. Then again, maybe they'll still give it to Bobby Abreu despite him being in the AL now.

*I predicted the Rowand homerun. I saw him standing in the on deck circle and I said to my wife, "Look at him. His lack of shoulders is so pronounced that he actually appears to be in the shape of an arrowhead. He's going to come up and Robin Hood one out to leftfield."

*The Boys in Blue can't hold us down! The umps sucked last night. Rod Barajas, actually stole a base, but was called out. Shane Victorino displayed his rifle and fired a shot to third gunning down a runner, but he was ruled safe. I really hate umpires some times.

*King Cole- complete game WIN with 15 k's...need I say more?

*Watching Barajas, Burrell, and Helms run is painful. I wouldn't be surprised to see one of them thrown out by the rightfielder at firstbase when they hit a ball between the 1st and 2nd basemen. They are nearly as slow as Charles Fuqua Manuel at a Mathlete competition.

"I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the the things that you do. I wanna walk, but I run back to you. That's why I hate myself for loving you."



chuckm said...

Time to send Matt Smith down (up?) to Ottawa until he learns how to throw strikes and bring up our Model Dictator (1 earned run allowed in 5 appearances). Another guy to keep an eye on is RHP John Ennis, a groundball pitcher who has also struck out 11 batters in 6.2 innings.

dane said...

check out you are quoted under the story what bloggers are saying about the phils.

michael said...

yes!! first place in the phantasy league!!!

Skeeter said...

Is there any reason you didn't mention the Kingship that is Cole Hamels in your 'game thoughts'? He dominated the entire game and you chose to write about umpires and Joan Jett.

And Skeet on the Mets is slowly rising in the ranks. Just wait for Pujols to start hitting then I'll be unstoppable.

Corey said...

skeeter, 15 K's and a CG? you have to do more than that to get mentioned here. i mean, c'mon, it's joan jett...

GM-Carson said...

King Cole's performance last night was so beautiful that I almost didn't want to utter a word about it. But due to Skeeters hissy-fit, I'll go edit today's entry and give him a proper shout-out.

Phils looking ok again today so far. Matt Smith really does suck though, he can't keep his pitches near the strike zone, and he's a base-on-balls waiting to happen. He'd be able to walk Mariano Duncan for crying out loud.

Good to see Freddy Garcia turn in a nice outing. Also good to see Howard back in the lineup, means the injury isn't all that serious. Right now it's 5-2...Phils better score more, because I do NOT want to see Gordon in this game.

GM-Carson said...

Here's the link to what Dane mentioned above from

I feel so honored being mentioned in the same piece as my homeboy Jayson Stark. Too bad they got the quote from what I wrote on BeerLeaguer instead of here.

GM-Carson said...

Myers was going to be the closer today...good to know. But Howard went yard and put the game out of save opportunity...fine with me.

This is ending up to be a damn good game, the kind of game that gets a team rolling.

Jacobin said...

Yes! We win 2 out of 3. Now we just need to rattle off another 5 straight and we'll be back to .500! I think my faith in this season would really get a boost if we come out of April at or above .500...

What would you consider to be a manageable record coming out of the cruelest month of them all?

Los said...

With the exception of Tom Gordon's ass-hat of a night on Friday, the Phillies looked good ... at least the starting pitching did. They need to get to the 7th innning ... at least until the offense wakes up.

michael said...

the offense definately showing a pulse today, I hope this series will be the turning point for them rolling into this week. If they leave April at .500 I will be a lot happier than I was the first 2 weeks with them.

BENTZ said...

The Phillies would need to win 6 of 7 on this homestand to get back to .500. That's entirely possible. However, I don't see it happening. I do think they will have a good homestand though and go 5-2. That puts them at 11-13 after April. Which would be better than last year's 10-14. I'd be okay with that considering the way this started. They MUST go at least 4-3 on this homestand and maintain last year's pace.

Maria said...

Other than the fact that Cole should be 4-0, I now expect him to pitch complete games every time he starts.

What's more impressive is that he leads the ML in strikeouts with ahead of Johan Santana.

Malcolm said...

I honestly think if it stays warm enough, the offense will stay strong. With that and a continuously solid rotation, they should knock .500 by Mother's Day. That's my late date, by the way.

das411 said...

Bentz, my Chase Utley (now he is hitting and we can say his name again) pocked sched says this homestand is only 6 games, 3 each vs the Nats and Fish, what am i missing here?

BloodStripes said...

Catch up game against Houston is next game DAs411. Postponed on the 15th.

GM-Carson said...

Considering how dreadful this season started, and still looks pretty damn bad, I'd be content with 11-13 April or better. 11-13 is not good by any stretch of the imagination, but we were 4-11 at one point.

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