Thursday, April 05, 2007

Message Board

Just minutes before game time...

Phils Phorever- I am so stoked for tonight's game, there is no way the Phillies are losing with Hamels on the mound.

Howard 4 MVP- We've got this game in the bag. The Blaster-Master, Ryan Howard, completely owns Tim Hudson.

Phaith No More- Is that a cocky swagger or just dumb-blind optimism?

Fastforward a few innings...

Phils Phorever- Hamels is dealing tonight, they'd think he was stacking the deck if he were playing poker.

Phaith No More- That joke was pathetic, but not quite as pathetic as the Phils excuse for an offense.

5th inning...

Lieberthal Phan- The Phillies should have retained Lieberthal. I don't know how they expect to compete with Rod Barajas and this weak hitting Carlos Ruiz.

Phaith No More- and it's a long drive...it's outta here, homerun Carlos Ruiz. What was that you were saying Lieberthal Phan?

Bottom of the 8th inning...

Phils Phorever- Hamels pitched brilliantly. He will win 20 games this season, with the first W coming tonight after this strong performance. Gordon will lock it down for us in the 9th, but lets score some security runs just to be on the safe side.

Flyin' Hawaiian- My boy Victorino is like a kid juiced up on Moutain Dew out there. That's 2 clutch doubles in late and close games in a row now. Time to show 'em your speed there Jitterbug.

Howard 4 MVP- Shame Shane got thrown out at 3rd on that steal attempt, but I like his aggressiveness. Don't worry though, our hero Howard has decent speed for a big man and will find a way to score here to tack on that extra run.

Phaith No More- Good call slap-nuts, did you both go to the Charlie Manuel school for retards? Never, and I mean never, run yourself out of an inning, and the Phils did just that. Victorino will steal his fair share of bases this season, but in the 8th inning with 1 out in a 2-0 game is not the time. Oh, and Howard may be able to big-rig himself around the bases, but I thought we got rid of Bill Dancy as our 3rd base coach.

9th inning...

Flash Iz Cash- I'm glad we have a proven closer to fall back on in games like this. Just think we could be in limbo like the Devil Rays.

Phaith No More- Didn't we hire Tonya Harding to take care of Brian McCann? No wonder that bitch didn't win gold.

10-11th inning...

Fuqua 4 Mensa- This is why Charlie is a players' manager. He shows trust and faith in them and gives them the opportunity to reclaim their dignity and be the hero after they went and messed up in a previous game. Mark my word, Madson starts his season of dominance right now.

Phaith No More- Don't you guys read WSBGM's. That highly intelligent and humorous writer, GM-Carson, put the stats up on the site clear as day. Madson's career trend is trash.

Fuqua 4 Mensa- See that? Madson pitches a beautiful 10th inning. Whoever this GM-Carson is, obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.

Phaith No More- Wow, Ryan Madson sucks! 2 games into the season and he owns both losses. You can't blame Charlie Manuel for this game though, because he didn't have anybody else to turn to in the bullpen. Wait, Antonio Alfonseca, Clay Condrey, Zack Segovia, and Joe Bisenius were all out there getting hemroids from riding that cold-ass metal bench in the bullpen. Welcome to DFL.

Phils Phorever- What's DFL?

Phaith No More- Dead F@#kin' Last!

Faith No More/Epic- "You want it all but you can't have it. It's in your face but you can't grab it."

~Carson

78 comments:

BloodStripes said...

Which message board was that? Bloody classic mate.

As soon as I read "Good call slap-nuts, did you both go to the Charlie Manuel school for retards?" It became very obvious who Phaith No More is.

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- this was a fictious message board. I needed a new way to vent my frustration. Hope you enjoyed my creativity.

Game Thoughts-
1. Ryan Madson should not be used in anything but mop up duty. Give the other relievers a chance...they can't do much worse.
2. Our offense is being stupid. 16 men left on base on Monday, and yesterday they couldn't seem to stay on base long enough to score (Rollins picked off, Vic caught stealing, and Howard chugging to an out at home).
3. Our bullpen is really bad, there's no if's, and's, or but's about it.

GM-Carson said...

"Right now, I have to give him a chance. Just because he gave up a home run last time doesn't mean I'm going to yank him and you're not going to see him back out there. As a matter of fact, I think the quicker I send him back out there the better off he might be. That's kind of how I always have done it and it's always worked in the past." -- Manuel, on reliever Ryan Madson, who allowed a two-run, 10th-inning homer to Atlanta's Edgar Renteria on Monday.


Manuel is a moron! What a stupid, stupid man he is. This is why Charlie is a players' manager- he sticks by shitty players and lets them try to "regain" their confidence. Good call Fuqua, hopefully you'll run Madson out there again this afternoon so he can make it 3 straight losses...dumbass!!!

BloodStripes said...

Excellent mate. Well done. Some of those names used to appear on that "sit in the basement with cock in hand statshead website" did'nt they. Ha ha!!

Yep, the bullpen sucks. Pickoffs and caught stealing sucks too.

Hamels and his 0.00 ERA and 8 K's has shot me up the phantasy ladder to 3rd. Too bad I have no starters for the next round of games.

How does this waivers thing work?

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- if you want to make a waiver claim, just click on that player and then you will either have to place one of your players on the DL to make a roster spot available or drop an unwanted player altogether.

I'm sure we're going to be hearing a lot of "it's a marathon, not a sprint" and "it's only two games" type bullshit. That's what losers say.

BloodStripes said...

Hang on. Mike Mussina should be up. Go Mike. Pitch 8 zero run innings and then Tampa can pile 'em on and beat the yanks.

BloodStripes said...

Yeah true but its these shitty season starts that have hurt the Phils the past 2 years. They gotta get their arse into gear and have a winning april.

michael said...

carson seriously......its a marathon not a sprint. theres 160 left. madson i think has been picked as this years once promising prospect turned absolute shit pitcher..i guess he caught it from gavin floyd, i think tyler green started this disease.

GM-Carson said...

I'm tainted fellas. Every year we start out by shitting the bed, and a bunch of people say things like "calm down, it's only the start of the season", "don't throw the towel in yet", and many other played out sayings. The sayings bring no comfort to me, because look where we're at when the season ends, NOT IN THE PLAYOFFS!

I'm not giving up on the season, but I will say this is about the worst possible start imaginable.

goDuke said...

I think that Manuel should be going to Alfonseca. For God's sake the man has 6 fingers... that definitely has to mean that he'd be 1 finger's worth better then Madsen. No mo Madsen. Go with the 6-fingered wonder damnit! We'd be 2-0 right now had Manuel put Alfonseca in the game instead of Madsen.

Maria said...

We might never win a game with a bullpen like this.

I guess we'll just have to outscore the opposition by 15 every night.

Corey said...

how bout them buccos! 3-0 !!!

BloodStripes said...

Pittsburgh going off!!

michael said...

well on the plus side, cole looked fn' awesome last night definitely more than capable of his predicted 20 wins and jimmy finally showed some plate discipline drawing 3 walks and ruiz didn't have a terrible game either. it was everyone else who sucked ass..and manuel please fix the batting order so its not s/s/r/r/l/l/l/l, how does someone who will put in a left handed reliever to face one right handed batter and then pull him for a rhp to face the next two lhb make a lineup card like that...UGH, I JUST WANT TO BITE THAT DAMN TURKEY NECK OF HIS!!!!

Moe Ville said...

He may run alright for a big man, but sending Howard home had me picturing Vuk, somewhere in the great beyond, going ape-shit.

GM-Carson said...

I know this is a little known fact, but I think Manuel is an idiot. He made the correct move by using Gordon in the 9th...duh. It was unwise to use Madson last night, especially pushing the luck of a 2nd inning, and we all know how well that turned out. Pat Gillick deserves blame too, as his inability to land a reliever worthy of trust is haunting horribly already.

Reagan316 said...

I've been reading you guys since last July and I just wanted to say you do a great job. Awesome mix of philles/buccos and punk rock/old school rap. Thanks for making my work day a little less boring.

I expected more "drama" today. I know I was ready to put my foot through the tv screen after Madson effed up Hamels' gem. Thanks for easing the pain of last night with a little humor because as Phillie phans we need that all too often.

Corey and Carson need to record a cover album. I know I'd buy it.

GM-Carson said...

I know it's early, but it's difficult to not get all gloom-and-doom right now. This exactly the opposite of what we needed to happen at the beginning of the season. 2 straight heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, extra inning losses that should have easily been wins. Sad to say, but it does appear to be the same old song and dance.

Welcome to the fold Reagan. By the way, Corey and I were in a band together (him on guitar, me vox) called Low Life and it was a punk cover band. My favorite is our rendition of Funky Cold Medina.

GM-Carson said...

Hey, lets look on the bright side...we're only 2.5 back on the NL East.

furiousBall said...

Any Mike Patton references are welcome, always. Our bullpen is not wowing me much at all.

GM-Carson said...

From a poster of BeerLeaguers- Fire him (Manuel) now before they start April 0-6 and repeat the mantra, "It's early and there's a lot of baseball left."

Not once in any job I've ever had have I said to my bosses, "Hey, it's a long road to hoe so forgive me for not getting my work done on time. I'm pacing myself."

michael said...

ok well since the 'fire manuel' stuff is starting to come out. who do you think are good candidates to replace him? not talking interim who should be the manager of the phillies? (should of been leyland)

GM-Carson said...

Should have been Leyland...I'll do it for free. Corey will be my pitching coach...sorry Dick-Dick Dubee. Honestly, let anyone coach but Manuel (Jimy Willian or Davy Lopes).

michael said...

excellent there you go, i want to throw myself in as the guy who hangs in the bullpen and gets the call to tell the pitchers to warm up. i guess thats the bullpen manager i dont know the proper title.

Jacobin said...

While listening to those last few innings last night, I'm pretty sure I said: "You CANNOT fuqua'n try to steal there!" "Fuqua me. What the fuqua is Gordon doing?" "Fuqua! Fuqua! Fuqua!" and "Fuqua Ryan fuqa'n Madson, the mother fuqua."

Well, it went something like that.

GM-Carson said...

Pure genius Jacobin, pure genius!

So what do we expect from Adam Eaton today? My prediction, we don't have to worry about the bullpen blowing the game, because Eaton will take care of that himself.

GM-Carson said...

Apparently it does snow in hell, as yesterday's Devil Rays vs. Yankees contest was snowed out in the Bronx.

GM-Carson said...

The Pirates are only the second team in the 132-year history of the majors to start a season with two road victories despite trailing heading into the eighth inning, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. The 1994 Philadelphia Phillies did likewise in Denver.


P-freakin'-A baby!!!

GM-Carson said...

More words of wisdom from Charlie Manuel- The Phillies hope Adam Eaton can stay healthy. Throughout his career, Eaton has been on the disabled list six times and has missed nearly 30 starts in the last two seasons. Manager Charlie Manuel said in the three games he watched Eaton pitch this spring, he thought he had a good fastball and breaking ball. However in the final two games, Manuel said, Eaton seemed to have a tough time with his command. Manuel believes Eaton has what it takes to be a vital part of the Phils' starting rotation, which is why he'll get some leeway despite his tough spring training. "I'll give him plenty of rope. I don't plan on hooking him," Manuel said. "He's one of our starters and I'm going to give him all the chances in the world."

Other news- Phils righthander Freddy Garcia, who is on the disabled list with right biceps tendinitis, will make his first rehab start tonight for single-A Clearwater. Garcia is scheduled to make another rehab start Tuesday. Catcher Chris Coste, on the disabled list with a strained right hamstring, also is scheduled to play.

BenJah said...

yeah, it sure is a long season so far, but we could easily get hot next week and make it up

that's cool that you guys were in a band. if you need a saxophone player, let me know....my band, buster himen and the penetrators, broke up recently so i've just been sittin around lately.

Jacobin said...

Wow Benjah, that may be the foulest band name I've heard in a long while. Personally, I just play guitar in a standard rock/blues outfit. Oh, but what to expect from Eaton?

How about he gives up 3 runs over six innings, with the offense generating 8 runs during the same stretch. Unfortunately the bullpen gives up 5 runs to allow another game to go into extra innings... in the top of the 12th, a blind one-legged midget in a Braves uniform goes yard off of Ryan Madson.

furiousBall said...

As far as nasty band names are concerned, there is DDATT and then there is everyone else.

They were in the same rehearsal space as my band in Atlanta and they would be in their practice space in the middle of a Georgia summer, no A/C wearing their ski masks. No shit.

Skeeter said...

I nixed going down to the park today. My spirits were crushed the first 2 times. Maybe I am bad luck or something.

michael said...

sleep easy guys.. phils got francisco rosario from the jays for cash considerations.

off to a bad start already. they better turn it around today.

BloodStripes said...

It looks bloody freezing over there.

Great catch Eaton.

BloodStripes said...

Good news Michael. Rosario ought to be OK. He has been getting alot of strikeouts in AAA with a good ERA.

GM-Carson said...

I'm a "what have you done for me lately" kind of guy. So I look at Ryan Howard right now and I'm pissed. Field your position you big oaf! That was a dead doubly play ball that he threw into LF. So Eaton gets screwed...he should have been out of that inning. Our offense is shitty right now. It's downright disgusting. Goes to show spring doesn't mean a thing, because the people that were hitting then aren't hitting now.

I pray to God that Francisco Rosario is better than Ryan Madson, but the Phils will probably option Joe Bisenius to make room for him, and Bisenius has a chance at becoming the best option in the bullpen. Yes, that's how bad our bullpen is, if I'm referring to a guy yet to throw a MLB pitch as having the ability to be better than all our other relievers.

Skeeter said...

Geary will PROBABLY continue to be our best reliever and will DEFINITELY continue to be under-appreciated by many people....except those here.

michael said...

i just dont understand baseball coaches and front office people. if a guy is pitching well let him play if hes not then dont, the whole well we'll just send him down to AAA and call him up later. like i dont trust him enough even though when he has pitched hes done well but i'll trot out a pitcher who has pitched like shit for a consistent amount of games instead..stupidity.

Jacobin said...

Wow, they finally got Brian McCann out. Shit, that must lower his average to .580 or so! Be a real shame if that boy would trip down the dugout steps.

BloodStripes said...

Good inning for Eaton. Nice and quick. Phils big boys up next. C'mon Phils phire up for phucks sake!!

GM-Carson said...

Trip down the dugout steps would work, or bashed in the back on the knee cap by a billy-club...all the same result.

Gas-Can Geary is our best reliever, and I appreciate that dorky S.O.B.!

BloodStripes said...

Shit yeah Ut. Get him home Ryano.

GM-Carson said...

Someone needs to inform Ryan Howard that being the 2006 NL MVP doesn't mean jack-shit for 2007. I know he'll be fine over the course of the season, but he's pissing me off right now, not just with the bat, but all around. Piss-poor defense (14 errors last year, 2 already this season) and bad base running (getting hit opening day by a batted ball).

GM-Carson said...

You're my boy Burrell, you're my boy!!!!

BloodStripes said...

There's our man Pat. Woo hoo!

Skeeter said...

who loves burrell?

Skeeter said...

I do

BloodStripes said...

Plenty of love for Pat downunder.

GM-Carson said...

Piece of shit Fence-Face!

I hate the Phillies! No, that's a lie. I unfortunately love them. But seriously, a man on 3rd with less than 2 outs- he HAS to score. Sac fly, groundout, something for Christ's sake!

Jacobin said...

Pat came through, Helms did a fine job (nice to see the third base coach has figured out slow lumbering runners might not be able to score), and then fence-face continues toward a 100+ strikeout season!

It's all tied up at 1 earned run each! Oh wait, the Phils gave up that unearned run too.

This seems like a good time to mention Billy Wagner is a whining bitch.

GM-Carson said...

And Gavin Floyd has no talent, David Bell is gay, and Rob Ducey was the curse of the Phils in the 90's. Ok, I feel better now.

Eaton is pitching well. Remember, Howard's continued shitty D lead to BOTH runs, as that was double play ball.

BloodStripes said...

I'm liking Eaton today. Even better the way he gets stronger with more and more pitches. Rubber arm!

BloodStripes said...

Did I just say that.

Crap!!!

GM-Carson said...

The Phillies hate me. The Phillies hate you. The Phillies hate their fans.

GM-Carson said...

I was so incredibly amped up for this season. I'm not having any fun...this actually sucks. I love baseball and it brings me joy, but this season is joyless thus far.

BloodStripes said...

Rich Dubee wasn't taking notes wheels. He was rolling joints!

BloodStripes said...

Dubee on the phone. "Quick boys I broke the bong. Send me down another"

Is your wife giving it you GM. This sucks.

GM-Carson said...

My wife is at work. However, it's to a point where gloating for her isn't even fun. It was funny opening day, but now this is just sad. Seriously think about how amazingly shitty this season has been so far...complete opposite of what we needed. Kill me now!

GM-Carson said...

8-1...going to be 0-3. I'm joking and being serious at the same time- is this season already a waste?

BloodStripes said...

Good AB Jim!

GM. I know its hard to take but the Phils will pick up. Phils should start the season on the road. These failed home starts every year suck big time.

BenJah said...

THE SEASON IS 3 GAMES OLD, CARSON!! WE COULD EASILY FIND OURSELVES 6-3 NEXT WEEK!

GM-Carson said...

I'm going for a run. Maybe the Phils will manage to creep back into the game by the time a return...doubtful.

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- you're a good man. I don't honestly believe the season is a waste/over. But I'm thoroughly disgusted with the team right now.

BloodStripes said...

Who loves Pat?

BloodStripes said...

Great pitching Clay Condrey

Jacobin said...

Hell yeah! Phillies baseball is giving me goosebumps!!!

Oh wait, shit. No, not goosebumps. Phillies baseball is giving me hives.

GM-Carson said...

I'm back from my run, and at least the Braves didn't score any more runs.

A positive- Clay Condrey is pitching beautifully. 5 batters, 5 k's.

Burrell commits error and fans boo rentlessly...what about Howard?

I need some more positives...anybody got some?

kentucky phils phan said...

hey guys whats up...i am going to become a frequent commenter on this site now...haha carson i finally got my account fixed so i can comment...man this game is killing me...whats wrong with ryan?, and condrey looks great

-Kentucky Phils Phan

GM-Carson said...

Welcome back Kentucky, we missed ya. Feel free to let loose and vent.

Jacobin said...

How do we have 12 hits and 2 runs? WTF is going on with this team?

kentucky phils phan said...

i want to vent believe me, i actually got to watch the game today because of where i live the game was on TBS today...i'm sick of atlanta announcers...they make me sick...thats y i love mlb gameday audio haha...but about the team i just don't get it, i'm starting to think it's just as much our offense slumping as much as it is the bullpen...we just can't convert baserunners to runs, and thats a problem.

Jacobin said...

Notice the only time we start pushing runs across is when the Braves are walking them in!

I'm going to go take three advil for my headache (that's one for each 2007 Phillies' loss!).

fans said...

Phillies acquired righthander Francisco Rosario from the Toronto Blue Jays for $100,000.

furiousBall said...

Eaton is stealing money from the Phils. That was garbage

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