Breaking News- This just in, the Philadelphia Phillies have won a baseball game. Now back to you're regularly scheduled programing.
Just like a pool shark hustling some drunkards in a shady bar, the Phillies were toying with the competition. The opening act was all a ploy to lure the rest of the league into thinking they didn't have what it takes to contend, but now they're ready to bust out the whoppin' stick and serve the unsuspecting bastards with loss after loss, while racking up wins all the way through October. Okay, I may be getting ahead of myself, after all it is only 1 win and they still do have 3 losses, but you can see my optimism hasn't escaped me.
*You're my boy Burrell, you're my boy! Pat is offering "protection" better than the Sopranos, albeit for the first 4 games of the season. Soon we'll be asking, "Who's going to protect Burrell?". After an intentional walk to Ryan Howard, Burrell went Yahtzee on a Ricky Nolasco curveball and promptly delivered it over the rightfield fence for a 3-run bomb. I'm sure there will still be some retarded boo-birds for Burrell when he returns to Philly, and I fully support another 1-finger salute to those nay-sayers if the booing continues.
*Antonio Alfonseca is throwing well, and that's encouraging, as the bullpen NEEDS him. I pose a question though- if fans begin booing Alfonseca, how does he go about flipping them off considering he has no true middle finger?
*Retaining the services of Grand Pappy Moyer is going to prove to be a smart move by Gillick (and he hasn't had many). Moyer tops out at 83 mph, and yet still manages to pitch inside and baffle hitters. How does he do this without getting lit up? He knows how to pitch and mess with a batters' mind. Hamels, Moyer, and others will learn a lot under the tutelage of Moyer, more so than that stoner Dick-Dick Dubee.
*Whenever Michael Bourn comes in as a defensive replacement for Burrell, the Phils are probably sporting the best defensive outfield in baseball. With Bourn in LF, Rowand in CF, and Victorino in RF a flyball doesn't stand a chance like David Bell at a gay bar, both will get eaten alive.
*No offense to Rod Barajas but his offense isn't very good, and Carlos Ruiz should be the starting catcher. I've been saying for quite some time now that this cat can hit, and so far this season he's doing just that. Given the opportunity of regular playing time, Chooch would be an above average catcher with the possibility of becoming an All-Star.
*I predicted 20-30 steals from Shane Victorino this year, and although he's still learning how and when to swipe a bag, looks like he's going to attempt to get at least that many. The man is fast, and with the help of Davey Lopes, should be able to translate that gift of speed into a butt-load of sb's.
*You know things are going well when No-Hit Nunez gets a base knock (now batting .500 on the year).
*Jon Lieber and Freddy Garcia are on the mend. Lieber may join the club as early as Monday with Garcia following for an April 15th start. I guess Donut-Eater heads to the pen with Clay Condrey becoming the odd man out, because Bisenius is being optioned when Francisco Rosario is officially added.
Negative Note- Pittsburgh couldn't keep on their pace to win 162 games, as they fell victim to the Reds last night. This club has the chance to surprise a lot of people this season in the weak NL Central. Their offense should be better with the addition of Adam LaRoche and a full season from Xavier Nady. The rotation continues to mature, and that bullpen has talent.
Well, I don't want to end things on a downer, so here's an inspirational picture to amp you up for today's game.