Saturday, April 21, 2007

Going Hat Shopping

Screw this, I can't take it anymore. I'm a young healthy 27-year-old male that is about to become a father, I need to think ahead for my future. No more heartburn, fits of rage, spells of heavy drinking, high blood pressure, depression, swollen knuckles, hoarse throat, or shot nerves due to the Phillies. I'm switching allegiances today, no more Phillies, I'm going hat shopping!

First hat I'm trying on- Atlanta Braves. Why? My wife is a Bravos fan and seems to be a happy woman every season. Maybe this is because I'm despondent every season due to my Phils suffering through yet another year of playoff drought that she seems extra "chipper". Or, it is probably because for the majority of our lifetime the Braves have been perennial contenders. Verdict- I don't like the way the navy blue cap and red brim clashed with my skin tone, going to have to pass on becoming a Braves supporter.

Why am I even bothering to try on other hats? What have the Phillies done that has caused me to jump ship and go insane at the same time? Here's something- Charles Fuqua Manuel is still the manager of this ball club. He is a horrible manager, and I am not exaggerating. Quick example- yesterday I said this in the comment section on here before the game started, "My guess is that Lieber is on a stupid pitch count of 75-80 pitches because he's coming from the 'pen...I hate pitch counts...pussy pitchers." Over at BeerLeaguer, I said something similar, "Do you think Lieber is going to have a stupid pitch count of 75-80 pitches because he's coming from the 'pen? I say leave him in for 100 pitches or so if he's chucking well.". Chucking well Donut-Eater was, in fact he had 77 pitches when trusty Fuqua yanked him in the bottom of the 6 with 2 outs in the midst of pitching a 1 hitter. What happened next just befuddled me...Geary comes in and walks his man, so Fuqua naturally goes to our bullpen ace of walks Matt Smith and then Matt Smith walks his man. Apparently Geary and Smith are only 1 batter pitchers now, so Fuqua goes to the mound yet again and calls for Alfonseca. Alfonseca does a solid job finishing the inning without surrendering the lead and pitches the 7th nicely too. Manuel used 4 pitchers in the 6th inning though, when Lieber should have never been pulled to begin with. New setup man Myers and "The Arm" do a great job snapping off some breaking pitches in the 8th freezing the Reds' hitters, and now Manuel HAS to bring in his closer for the 9th. Why not leave Myers in? He's a "former" starter, I'm sure he could handle another 15 pitches or so. But no, Manuel goes to the man who continues to fail us...Tom Gordon, and fail us he did. Gordon gives up a jack with 2 out in the 9th to tie the game, then completely falls apart in the 10th to lose the game. Nice pitching selections Manuel, how many more games to plan on screwing up this season?

Next hat- New York Yankees. I can't believe my spirits have sank this low that I'm considering the Evil Empire as my refuge...something is seriously wrong here. I go to put on the cap, but my hair starts burning before I even get it fully on my head. I can't bring myself to do it, no matter how formidable the Yanks offense is, no matter how many championships they've won, and no matter how many homeruns A-Rod hits in April...I can't become a Yankees fan.

At this point, I'm about to end my shopping trip and try to forget baseball altogether. I'm still haunted by the Phils first 15 games this season. For the life of me, I would have never thought this team was possible of playing this poorly, 4-11, worst in baseball. Although I'd love Manuel's head on a platter, he's not close to being the only one to blame, as Pat Gillick constructed this shitfest, and the players we're supposed to count on are too busy counting greenbacks to worry about producing. The offense was #1 in the NL last season in runs scored, but this season they've seemed to develop an allergy to scoring. I want to bash my head against a wall every time the Phils load the bases and end up doing NOTHING. We're something like 2-25 on the season with the bases juiced...somebody go sign Robin Ventura please. And while you're at it, inject No-Hit Nunez with some HGH because he doesn't even have "warning track power", his must be considered "infield grass brawn". By the way, nice error by the supposed defensive specialist...freakin' useless!

Next stop, Baseball Heaven- a St. Louis Cardinals hat. I've heard rumors that this is the Mecca of baseball towns, that the fans sing and dance in unity before and after games, that the owner buys sausages and eclairs for loyal supporters, and fans partake in soul cleansing rituals that lead to soothing merriment within their hearts. That stuff sounds absolutely gay to me, I'll leave this hat for Corey and Skeeter, ain't nobody getting near my Pujols!

Well, I can't find a hat that suits me. I guess I'll just go back to what fits best, the Philadelphia Phillies. What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment.

~Carson

21 comments:

GM-Carson said...

True story- last night my wife and I went to one of her friend's house for dinner. Her husband is a huge Yankees fan, so we're talking baseball and flipping back and forth between the Phils/Reds and Yanks/BoSox games. He was making fun of me for us having Tom Gordon as our closer and him blowing the save. Low and behold, Mariano Rivera ends up doing the same exact thing that night too...karma is a bitch!

GM-Carson said...

Dumb quotes-
1. Lieber summed it up by saying, "I think we're a little snakebitten right now." *No, you guys haven't played the Diamondbacks yet.

2. "It's definitely a hard game to swallow" Gordon said. "I made a mistake on that pitch [to Hatteberg]. I was trying to stay away. I thought the pitch was down, but it was too good of a pitch to give to a hitter." *No shit Sherlock, you suck!

3. "Right now, Gordon is our closer," Manuel said. "We've just got to get him sharp." *Manuel, you're far from the sharpest tool in the shed, but you're certainly a tool.

4. "We're definitely disappointed," Lieber said. "I think we know we're a better ballclub than what we're showing right now. We've just got to get out there and get things going." *No kidding, you think you might want to "get things going"...freakin' idiot!

5. "It wasn't like we were scorching the ball," Manuel said. "We had some chances to score, but we just didn't do it again. A loss like this is tough, but what can we do?" *What can you do? How about trying winning for a change of pace?!

6. In regards to moving Myers to the 'pen- "What made Columbus famous?" Manuel asked. Discovering America? No," Manuel simply replied. "He took a chance."
*I'm about to take a chance and bumrush the dugout on your dumbass!

furiousBall said...

Gordon is done, that arm is dead.

Why Myers was pulled in favor of Gordon was the reason we lost the game. Also our penchant for ending late innings on double plays.

fans said...

You can't use up all of our pitchers in the 6th inning and assume we'll have a good enough offense to cover the one run lead. Hasn't Manuel been watching all the other games this year??

michael said...

i was hoping after gordon gave up that homerun that someone (player, fan, coach, opposing players) would just run out to the mound and punch him right in the face. gordon officially sucks..manuel does not know how to manage the bullpen plain and simple.

Skeeter said...

Thankfully I was working last night and didn't witness the debacle. I love how we didn't even score an earned run. No RBIs last night for this "powerhouse" offense. I'm disgusted and extremely embarrassed.

And you are mistaken Carson. Corey is the only one who takes it in the poo-holes. You should know that...you are the one supplying the meat.

BenJah said...

you are right. the phils phukin suck and manual is stupid.

i'm still waiting for the post summing up the wsbgm's phantasy league....

GM-Carson said...

The No-Talent-Ass-Clowns are not fairing well in the WSBGM's Phantasy League, in fact my team sucks. Corey or I will give a recap of the standings in a post some time soon.

This season is shittier than I could have ever imagined.

GM-Carson said...

From a commenter named Clout of BeerLeaguer:
"Might be time to trot out my Pat Gillick Report Card to get the debate rolling for those who need a break from yard work:

1. Acquired CF Aaron Rowand, LHP Daniel Haigwood and Gio Gonzalez for 1B Jim Thome and cash
Grade: C.
Thome had a monster season for the Sox and Rowand’s impact on the Phillies was minimal due tro injury. He is off to a nice start this year, but does anyone think he's above league average? Haigwood got Castro and Gio was part of the Garcia package.

2. Signed free agent RHP Julio Santana to a one-year contract.
Grade: F
Santana had pitched 470 IP with little success so his failure was predictable.

3. Signed free agent INF Abraham Nunez to a two-year contract.
Grade: D-
Nunez was a lifetime .240 hitter with no power and poor OB but a decent glove who had a career year with the Cardinals in ’05. Only Gillick thought it ws a breakthrough year as Nunez predictably reverted to form. His defense is overrated.

4. Signed free agent C Sal Fasano to a one-year contract.
Grade: D
He was NOT an upgrade over Todd Pratt, but Sal’s Pals were lots of fun.

5. Signed free agent RHP Tom Gordon to a three-year contract
Grade: C-
Gordon gets an A for his first half 2006 performance and an F for his second half. So far, so bad this year. Remmeber, Gillick let Billy Wags walk so we could give 3 years to a 39-year-old.

6. Acquired RHP Ricardo Rodriguez from Texas for Vicente Padilla
Grade: F
Padilla would’ve been the second best pitcher in the rotation, eliminated the Madson-Floyd fiasco and put the team into the playoffs. Rodriguez had 200 IP with bad H/IP and K/BB ratios at the time of the trade and did nothing. One of the worst trades in Phillies history.

7. Phillies non-tendered outfielder Endy Chavez, even though he was hitting .324 in Venezuelan league.
Grade: F
The Mets signed him about 10 minutes after Gillick cut him. He hit .306

8. Signed RHP Ryan Franklin to a one-year contract.
Grade: F
Another AL pitcher with a history of failure.

9. Acquired LHP Arthur Rhodes from Cleveland for OF Jason Michaels.
Grade: F
Rhodes provided almost nothing. J-Mike killed lefties, as usual. He would’ve been a big upgrade over Conine, had they kept him.

10. Signed free agent INF Alex S. Gonzalez to a one-year contract
Grade: F
A-Gonz did nothing and was gone.

11. Acquired OF David Dellucci and cash from the Texas Rangers for RHP Robinson Tejeda and OF Jake Blalock
Grade: C-
Tejeda did about as well for Texas as he did for the Phils in ’05 if you adjust for league and park factors. At 24, he still has upside. Dellucci was a key factor in the team’s August hitting surge, but he’s a liability in the field, can’t hit LHP and walked away as soon as his contract expired.

12. Acquired LHP Fabio Castro from the Texas Rangers in exchange for LHP Daniel Haigwood and cash.
Grade: B
Castro is a flamethrower and Haigwood a lefty finesse guy. Odds favor Castro, assuming he ever gains command.

13. Acquired SS C.J. Henry, LHP Matt Smith, C Jesus Sanchez and RHP Carlos Monastrios from the Yankees for OF Bobby Abreu and RHP Cory Lidle.
Grade: F-
The Yankees call it one of the best trades in team history and Abreu has at least 3 productive years left. Arguably one of the 3 worst trades in the history of the Phillies franchise (Ferguson Jenkins and Ryne Sandberg being the other two and they actually got usable players in those deals). Some Beerleaguers persist with their fantasies, based on no evidence whatsoever, that he was bad in the clubhouse etc., despite comments to the complete contrary by manager, teammates, sportwriters etc.

14. Claimed RHP Rick White off waivers from the Reds.
Grade: B+
Weird Beard ate bullpen innings and had bullpen phone fun. Gillick let him and Fultz walk and made no provisions for replacements.

15. Traded LHP Rheal Cormier to the Cincinnati Reds in exchange for RHP Justin Germano
Grade: B
The trade itself gets a B because of Germano's potential. But Gillick gets an F for losing Germano on waivers.

16. Traded RHP Ryan Franklin to Cincinnati for Zac Stott.
Grade: C+
Stott will never see the big leagues but getting organizational filler for nothing is worth a C+.

17. Acquired LHP Jamie Moyer from the Seattle Mariners in exchange for Minor League RHPs Andrew Baldwin and Andrew Barb.
Grade: B+
This becomes an A if Moyer re-signs here and the youngsters fail. Barb could be good, however.

18. Acquired INF/OF Jose Hernandez from the Pittsburgh Pirates in exchange for cash.
Grade B
He was a huge upgrade over Sandoval, nice bat vs. LHP, plays 7 positions and would have more value had they re-signed him and cut Nunez.

19. Acquired OF Jeff Conine and cash from the Orioles in exchange for Angel Chavez.
Grade: B
Like Dellucci, he fueled the August hitting surge, then cooled off sharply at the end. Chavez is a mediocre prospect.

20. Signed free agent INF Wes Helms to a two-year contract.
Grade: B
I'm being generous here because it depends on Helms hitting .280 or better with at least 20 HRs. Anything less than that won't offset his bad glove.

21. Signed RHP Adam Eaton to a three-year contract.
Grade: C
Eaton is a 5 or 6 inning starter who gives up the longball. He can be a decent 4th or 5th starter if he stays healthy so this grade could rise.

22. Acquired RHP Freddy Garcia from the Chicago White Sox in exchange for RHP Gavin Floyd and Gio Gonzalez.
Grade: Incomplete.
Is Garcia healthy? Will he pitch 200 innings? This has potential to be a very good trade or a disaster. Gio and Floyd are live arms.

23. Signed OF Jayson Werth to a one-year contract.
Grade: C
Werth can be a decent platoon outfielder vs. LHP, but Manuel hasn't used him that way, starting him mostly vs. RHP. He hasn't impressed with the glove.

24. Traded OF Jeff Conine to Cincinnati in exchange for Minor League OF Javon Moran and Minor League 3B Brad Key
Grade: B
Key is worthless, but Moran has potential as possible 4th or 5th outfielder someday.

25. Signed C Rod Barajas to a one-year contract with a club option for the 2008 season.
Grade: C
In hindsight, this was a mistake, assuming Ruiz continues to play as he has. But it was for only one year. Barajas is an extreme one-dimensional mistake hitter.

26. Signed RHP Antonio Alfonseca to a one-year contract.
Grade: B+
Obviously this grade changes if he suddenly loses it, but so far this gamble on a vet has paid off.

27. Acquired RHP Francisco Rosario from Toronto in exchange for cash considerations.
Grade: B
Live arm, worth a flier, odds are probably less than 50-50 that he'll ever have command.

Summary: Gillick has made some good small personnel moves and some spectacularly bad big personnel moves. Overall, I'd say his moves rank in the bottom 20% of all GMs."

Bob D said...

awesome breakdown by clout:
A - 0
B - 10
C - 7
D - 2
F - 8
IC- 1 (incomplete)

although some of those B's are incomplete right now: Alfonseco, Helms, and Rosario. And the trade of Cormier for Germano is actually an F after losing him for nothing.

So basically 6 to 10 decent moves 7 average and 10+ poor moves and absolutely no exceptional or good moves.

That is why we are 4 - 11.

chuckm said...

Good analysis of Gillciks moves. I was one who wanted complete organizational overhaul after Dead Wade was gone. I saw the hiring of Gillick as Montgomery bringing on a temporary hired gun to tweak the roster, after which time, he would retire and the baton passed to one of the usual organization flunkies. I gave Gillick the beneifit of tyhe doubt that he earned from his prior GM tenures but at this point he is lost. Hey, Branch Rickeys sucess with the Cardinals and Dodgers didnt translate for sucess for the Buccos when Rickey was their GM. Every dog has its day and Gillick has had his. Crappy BP pitchers who
cant toss over 87 MPH, lead-footed ineffective bench/role players and the humiliating dissing given to Chris Coste. Enough is enough. I'm sure the Phillies are going to snap out of it, but serious damage has been done for 2007 and its going to
take a serious turnaround to keep up with the Mets and Braves. I will always hope the best for the Phillies, but at this point I am turncoating to the Diamondbacks.

SirAlden said...

Take a look over on Beerleaguer at my comments on the Thome, Abreu, and Padilla trades, and tell me if anyone would have done anything differently than Gillick has when you look at the financial implications of the Ed Wade Straight Jacket ERA.

As someone whose first team at age 9 was the 1964 Phillies, you ain't seen nothing yet guys.

Should we trade for Rivera and give him 15 mil a year for 4 years the way Ed Wade would have? Or Pick up Brad Lidge from the Stros and give him a 20 million dollar contract extention like Ed Wade would have?

As for hats Carson, I go through the exact same thing each year, even tried the Toledo Mudhens Cap because Klinger from M.A.S.H. loved then and I loved the name so much.

We love the Phighten Phils...

Still love their rotation, would not trade it for the Yankees, Mets, or Braves....

If Garcia kicks in like Moyer and Lieber the next few weeks, the hair will begin to grow back onto our bald pates where we tore the hair off these last 3 weeks.

Beerleaguer - We Should Be GM's - and the Steve Jeltz Award of Phillies Nation lead the way to sanity as we head towards the 10,000th franchise loss next month.

Keep up the good work!

SirAlden said...

#1 your rating of the Thome trade was a C - my rating an A++

We could not afford the cash to Thome freeing about half of 60 million owed to him, and opened a spot for Ryan Howard.
The fact that we got anything in return is amazing, we have Rowand (who can be traded for the middle reliever we need) Castro, and Garcia (when we through in Floyd with Gio)

So this trade becomes Thome for - Ryan Howard, Garcia in 2007, Rowand or the pitcher he is traded for, and Castro a great lefty prospect in AAA.

This was an A++ trade, Thome had been injured and his trade value at the point of the trade was quite low.

Think about it, would you rather have Thome and his cost, and not have Ryan Howard, Garcia, Rowand, and Castro? If you would I would agree to disagree, while thinking you are out of your freaking mind...

Gillick's signing of his former retreads has been terrible, but he continues to try, unlike poor Ed Wade.

SirAlden said...

Pitcher Vicente Padilla is staying with the Texas Rangers, agreeing to a $33.75 million, three-year contract Saturday that includes a $12 million club ...

2006 TEX AL 200.0 IP 206 HITS WHIP 1.380

200 BA Against Righties 306 BA Against Lefties

This Year Vincente has an ERA of 6.00

I loved Padilla, but look at these stats. The club knew from his agent what he was seeking for money. Would you have given him 12 MILLION A YEAR?

What so many miss with Padilla and Abreu are the Costs involved, as if we can sign anyone at any price. Abreu because of Ed Wade's fear of losing his job had a contract
2007 Salary: $15,600,000 -- 2008 Salary 16,000,000.

We should never ever have lost Abreu, but Wade's handling of both his and Burrells contracts handcuffed us.

Abreu's trade was really, Abreu for the ability for the next decade to sign a top 10-15 million dollar a year starter if we can find one who is healthy.

Gillick in the Padilla and Abreu situations is blameless, he could not sign the first, and he made a difficult choice economically that he never should have had to have made.

Gillick has singlehandedly gotten the Phillies to a place where they will have financial flexability in the future.

Look how hard relievers are to come by these days, the Braves traded a guy with 32 homers for a middle reliever.

As for Wagner, Gillick tried to give away the store to keep him, but Wags was not biting. People forget the FAT HANGING APPLES Wags served up to his buddies of the Houston Astros in Sept 2005 that led to us losing the wild card by one game.

Yes, Smith, Madson, Gordon, (the entire bench aside from Werth), Utley and Howard are not producing, but would you trade our rotation for the Yankees, Mets, or Braves staight up?

Not me.

GM-Carson said...

SirAlden- Welcome, and thanks for the analytical viewpoint on some of Gillick's moves. I know we make jokes here at WSBGM's, and for good reason, but we welcome serious Phillies talk too. I've been very pleased so far this season with the mix of commenters on here and how things continue to grow and progress. When Corey and I first started this blog, we were doing it for our own entertainment, then slowly more and more people started showing up. I know some people read us regularly, but aren't commenters...I'm cool with that. I'm not doing this to be famous, hell I don't even care about recognition, I just want to spread my thoughts about the Phillies and see what others think of my opinions. So, basically my silly little thought here is- Thank you to all that come to this site and an extra thanks to those who contribute, you honestly make my day happier, as I don't know if I could stomach Phils baseball any more without this format of a blog to spew on.

*Damn I sound like David Bell at a San Fran niteclub.

fans said...

from philly.com:
The team closed its clubhouse at about 4:20 p.m. today to hold a team meeting. It's unclear who called it but appears to be manager Charlie Manuel because the meeting didn't start until the second team bus arrived at Great American Ball Park.

But it already appears Manuel plans to shake up his lifeless offense. His lineup tonight is: 1) Shane Victorino; 2) Aaron Rowand; 3) Jimmy Rollins; 4) Chase Utley; 5) Pat Burrell; 6) Wes Helms; 7) Abraham Nunez; 8) Rod Barajas; 9) Cole Hamels.

chuckm said...

I was pushed to the limit last night but decided to tune in as King Cole was on the hill. He just twirled a gem. Yo, no matter how ugly it may get, at least we have reason to tune in every fifth start.

Jacobin said...

Biggest difference between Cole's win and the previous night's debacle (or every other game this season...)? No shitty bullpen to blow the game.

We just need CGs from the starters and there will be no worries about the pen... yeah, we're still kind of fucked. But every five days we have Cole (at least until Fuqua moves him to the pen too)!

BloodStripes said...

Great post GM. Nothing fits better than a Phillies cap.

I woke with a hangover here in Oz this fine sunday and missed the game. I instantly thought to myself 'I bet the Phils put it together because I'm not watching'. Sure enough Utley hits, Hamels dominates a CG and the D turns a triple play. I gotta say I'm very pleased. Well done Cole. Maybe I should start drinking more and keep missing games.

das411 said...

Goddamn and Cole goes right out and says THAT is why you can move "our best starter" (since when, assholes that wanted him gone last year?) to the bullpen!

And Carson, I think you have to give the Moyer pickup an A, if only for the way he solidified the rotation at the end of last season. However, once you stop kissing Abreu's ass (seriously, did you see him in RF today? and that was at Fenway, the only RF smaller than our very own), you realize that the worst part about that deal was having to include the late Cory Lidle, who almost certainly would have brought more by himself than with Abreu's ginormous salary (thanks Siralden) attached in the deal.

And where are grades for picking up Randall Simon and letting the Wolfman + Lieberthal go?

GM-Carson said...

Das411- those weren't my grades for Gillick's moves. I got them from a poster on BeerLeaguer dubbed "Clout". I would give the Moyer pickup an A. Jamie Moyer is one of my favorite things about the Phils. Dick-Dick Dubee should be fired, and just add his salary to Moyer's.

Hamels sparkled last night, 15 k's...holy crap!

I was worried the Phils were going to lose because they kept getting hosed by the umpires on some plays, but they won despite the Boys in Blue trying to hold 'em down.