The Phillies aren't only challenging my patience and better judgement this season with their ever mounting mound of losses. They're also testing my wit by forcing me to find creative avenues for making losing seem funny. Bottom line, losing isn't amusing (ha, that rhymed), but misery is, and we've got plenty of that to go around.
Not Funny- Our slugging trio of Howard, Utley, and Burrell have a collective 3 homeruns, while our trash-talking pipsqueak shortstop J-Roll (or as that ass-hat Sarge calls him "JR") has 5 4-baggers.
Funny- Midgets, oops I meant to type "small people", wrestling muscle-bound grown men.
Not Funny- Our resident fatty Donut-Eater Jon Lieber wasting away (his talent that is, not his actual girth) in the bullpen.
Funny- Anything with the "fat guy in a little coat" Chris Farley. For a good laugh/distraction I recommend watching Tommy Boy, Beverly Hills Ninja, Black Sheep, or the SNL Chris Farley collection.
Not Funny- Our corner infielders' fielding, as Wes Helms and Ryan Howard have botched more plays this season than I can count on Antonio Alfonseca's hands and feet.
Funny- Gangsta Rapper Eazy-E...that dude spit some clever rhymes in his time. "Well I'm Eazy-E, I got bitches galore. You may have a lot of bitches, but I got much more. With my super duper group coming out to shoot. Eazy-E, mutha-suckas cold knocking the boots."
Not Funny- Sal Fasano netted us a criminal. Minor Leaguer Hector Made has been caught and suspended for 50 games for violating the banned substance policy.
Funny- Just Say No! While you're saying "no", pop in the hilarious Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke...it's okay to watch, just don't partake.