Friday, March 09, 2007

Weekend Ramblings - Grapefruit Edition

I watched a few innings of the Phillie game that was televised last Sunday. I didn't see much, because I hate spring training games on TV, but there wasn't much else on. I did see enough though to realize that poor Sarge should hang up the microphone now. He started the telecast by talking about the battle for the last bench spot between Greg Dobbs, Karim Garcia, and Chris Coastee. Ouch. And it didn't get much better from there.

Sarge in the booth kind of reminds me of when Happy Gilmore took that homeless guy and made him his caddy. A dirty, bearded, disheveled wreck walking amongst the elite of the PGA tour. While Sarge was not dirty or disheveled, he was equally out of place. In the movie Happy's caddy does not speak a word...maybe Sarge should take a page out of that playbook.
Skinny Pirates
Here's the plan. Play with the Pirates, leave to another team, start taking steroids, then put up monster numbers out of proportion to your natural abilities shown while with the Bucs. Barry Bonds set the trend. Gary Matthews followed the path. But I'm sure he's not the only one to follow in Bonds' footsteps. Jose Guillen, anyone...
Commercials for sports teams can be good. For instance, check out the Mariners commercials for 2006. The Jamie Moyer clip is especially good. I even liked the high-energy but grammatically challenged "Ain't no stoppin' us now" ads that the Sixers used a few years ago. But they can also be bad. Painfully bad. And you need to look no further than this years "Goosebumps" campaign that the Phillies are using. Unfunny. Childish. Lame. Embarrassing. Add your own adjective. Whatever you call it, they are horrible.
This Guy Must Suck
If you see this guy walking down your street, go grab a bat, because you may have a chance of getting a hit. Why? Because this guy gave up a homer to Abraham Nunez on Thursday. The pitcher is Indians reliever Rafael Perez, who actually has pretty good minor league stats, but now has tarnished his career forever. I know it's only Spring Training, but still, it's Abe Nunez. This guy should immediately be 1)sent to minor league camp 2)released or 3)shot.
Burrell Confronts Aging
First, the Playboy gets married. Now, he needs corrective lenses. According to this story from, Burrell didn't pass his vision screening as easily as before and has been prescribed contact lenses, which he is currently getting accustomed to wearing. Burrell can't quite comprehend what went wrong, though. "I never had a problem with my eyes," Burrell said. Now that I think about it, what is up with that? Who ever heard of decreased visual accuity with aging? If there is an opthomologist in the reading audience, help the rest of us out with this mystery. Either way, I doubt this will change anything, vision is minimally important to hitting. The only way this story gets interesting is if Burrell goes Chris Sabo and sports the Recs-Specs...
And Finally...
I ran across this at the great Pirates blog Apparently, noted PETA supporter David Wells went to Africa. He did not bring back yellow cake, but he did kill some "cute little suckers" and eat dik-dik. It is unknown if Shrunk-Nut David Bell was also invited to dinner...

And just for good measure, another picture of Pirates-era Barry Bonds.



Anonymous said...

Yes, Sarge did seem out of place in the broadcast booth. For some reason I thought he was just a guest for a inning or so. When I turned the game on later in the day, I was surprised to hear his voice again. I'd rather listen to Wheels drone on than endure any more of the Sarge.
That picture of Bonds is really shocking when you think about what he looks like today. Its like comparing Dr. Robert Bruce Banner to the Incredible Hulk. Both are freaks of nature due to scientific disasters.

Corey said...

yeah, is that bonds holding a bat or a bat holding bonds? only the color and uniform set them apart.

fans said...

I heard the first pre-season radio broadcast this season and Sarge was absolutely awful - I doubt he said 10 words in his first few innings. He does seem to be getting better. The tv game was strange as he was paired with Harry AND Wheels. It was almost as if he was a guest at their broadcast. At this point I'm hoping they bring back the guy they fired (I'm blanking on his name).

Burrell's eyesight might be a reason for his not picking up the inside pitch. He hates change - how can he be expected to wear glasses/contacts at this point?

Los said...

Hopefully, those contact lenses can help Burrell hit those deceiving pitches that go right down the middle of the plate.

I hate Barry Bonds, and hope his knees fall off.

eas45 said...

Abraham Nunez has homered off 18 different pitchers in the regular season in his career....

Mark Portugal
Scott Elarton
Dustin Hermanson
Ruben Quevedo
Andy Benes
Octavio Dotel
Jose Jimenez
Todd Van Poppel
Amaury Telemaco
Matt Herges
Jeff Bennett
Jon Lieber
Joe Valentine
Chris Hammond
Pedro Martinez
Mark Prior
Scott Kazmir
Chris Schroder

Skeeter said...

SARGE SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...almost as bad as nunez, but not many can suck that much.

das411 said...

So speaking of Bonds in his Pirate days...I was 8 in 1992 when he left that team and I look juuuuuust a little different from that now, who else does also?

Corey said...

das411, great comparison between and 8 year old you and adult you versus the change in barry bonds. both are the result of dramatic increase in testosterone and prolonged exposure to growth hormone. one is called puberty, the other is a little slightly less natural, kind of an "artificial puberty."

at this point, thinking that bonds never did steroids is equivalent to believing in santa claus...

GM-Carson said...


Seriously, what Greg Dobbs is doing this spring is down right spectacular. He's batting .500 with 3 official homeruns (he has two more that aren't include because 1 was against Florida St. and the other was in a "B" game) and 9 rbi. I don't care if it's spring or not, I want him given a chance on the bench this season. Hell, he might even end up seeing time at 3rd.

Lieber pitched well in 4 innings work, and has a dazzling ERA of 1.50. Some team is going to give us something we want for him.

Clay Condrey keeps plugging on with a 0.00 options left.

EAS45- thank you so much for that list of MLB pitchers that have surrendered a homerun to No-Nit Nunez...drap 'em all out in the field and have them shot!

I believe in Santa Claus and I believe Barry Bonds always tells the believe sucka!

klkatz said...

one note about Chris Sabo... He won the rookie of the year the same year our beloved Ricky Jordan debuted. And looking at Jordan's stats versus those of Sabo, I truly believe that Jordan should have won Rookie of the Year. His stats were comparable, if not better, and he played in half the time.

Sabo: .271, 11 HRs, 44 RBI, 46 SB, 74 runs in 574 ABs

Jordan: .308, 11 HRs, 43 RBI, 1 SB, 41 runs, in 273 ABs

You make the call!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that Sabo stole 43 bases that year! Where did he get those kind of wheels? Jordan definitley got screwd. Thw writers must have fallen for Sabo and his cool guy goggles.

Corey said...

eas45 - how did you come up with that list?

GM-Carson said...

Day lights saving sucks ass! Who's stupid ass idea was it to spring an hour ahead? He should be shot just like those pitchers for giving long balls to Nuni.

Bob D said...

How much is that Bonds rookie card worth?

actually Sabo should have been ROY over Jordan only because he played more and di produce more runs/SB. However if Jordan had another 100 to 200 ABS he would have won that award hands down.

I thought back then that the Phils struck gold with Jordan and Ron Jones. poor Jones he blewout his knees twice and never made it back. Awesome power

GM-Carson said...

By the way "poor Ron Jones" is a dead Ron Jones now.