Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Plague

Beware, gloom and doom lies ahead...

Just a short month ago Jimmy Rollins was talking trash about how the Phillies were the team to beat in the NL East, fans were clamoring for a trade of the Donut-Eater because we needed relief and had 6 healthy starters, and spirits, hopes, and optimism were high. Fast forward to present time...we're in deep dookie!

I made a joke earlier in the week- "Like an infectious S.T.D. (just ask Burrell), once the injury bug bites one player more are to come as the disease spreads." Sometimes I truly hate being right. Freddy Garcia and Carlos Ruiz are both banged up and not ready for game action yet. Matt Smith, Geoff Geary, Chris Coste, and Tom Gordon are all a bit battered and bruised too. Wait, have no fear, Jon Lieber is still here. But just as Phillies fans have suspected for decades, God has smite us where we stand and alas Jon Lieber too has been infected by the plague.

Donut-Eater, who apparently has an oblique muscle in his belly along with the family of midgets he houses, has pulled said oblique muscle and now we're down to 4 starting pitchers. We were riding so high, we were ready to take on the world...smack, welcome back to the reality of being a Phillies fan.

Aside from injuries, it's not all warm and fuzzy like a blanket straight from the dryer, nope more like a Lifetime Original movie. In fact, this spring has been uglier than that girl you hooked up with after a case and a half of Natty Ice. Our pitching staff is in shambles, our offense has forgotten how to score runs, the defense still can't field, and our manager, well he's retarded.

Chicken Little put it best, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!". I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm finding a bomb shelter fully equipped with Twinkies and bottled water and hiding there until May.

~Carson

13 comments:

D. Page said...

Only thing good is that none of these injuries seems too serious. Also, I don't really pay attention to Spring Stats. Still, Howard did have a monster spring last season, so his gross batting average and number of strikeouts could be some concern. I don't think anyone is expecting him to repeat last year's ridiculous numbers, but as long as he has a solid year, (.280 avg, 35+ hrs, 100+ rbis and i wouldnt have much to complain about) our improvements in starting pitching should carry us into the playoffs. April 2nd draws closer

Frank said...

The more I think about it- the more nervous i get.

You know, they got great years from Utley and Howard- plus a lot when right on offense last year- and still only won 85 or so games. The rotation could be better- but the bullpen could be worse and there is STILL nothing on the bench. This carrying of 12-13 pitchers is not a testiment to the strength of the pitching or positional bench players

Worse, the mets are a real candidate towin 90- and the Braves are better today- and the Marlins are improved. Hard to finish third and have 85 wins.

I have a baaaaad feeling about this.

GM-Carson said...

Besides two homerun balls, Cole Hamels looked good today against the Twins. The offense is on fire...Utley with 2 bombs, Karim knocking one over the fence, even Hamels got a double.

We need to get to the 90 win plateau this season, we need playoffs!

Skeeter said...

When the Phillies are in October this season, you will look back on this post and be ashamed of yourself, Carson. Ye have little faith in our boys...

McD said...

I must agree with Skeeter. Let's all sit back, crack open a Schlitz or two and just take things as they come. I am not ready to hit the panic button yet. We are Phillies fans afterall...we have suffered much worse than this.

I am on the bandwagon for better or worse. Hopefully the ride will end with a trip down Broad Street in October.

GM-Carson said...

I was just having fun with today's post. I don't really think the Phils season is doomed. I do think our bullpen sucks, but the rotation and offense will be fine. I just like to be a bit dramatic some times.

chuckm said...

Todays game was pretty textbook on how I would like to see the pitching
do.

GM-Carson said...

As skeptical as I am about Ryan Madson, I understand this club needs him, so I'm rooting for him to succeed. He has a quality change-up, so hopefully he can go back to his rookie form and be a reliable reliever because we need him.

Watching Howard's swing, and it does look like he's flying open on the ball trying to crank everything down the right field line. He has tremendous power to the opposite field, so I'm sure he'll get this glitch taken care of. By the way, like D.Page above, I do not expect Howard to duplicate his season. I expect somewhere around .285 with 45 homeruns, but plenty of RBI's just the same...still freakin' awesome!

Los said...

This team better pull together ... we can't afford another slow start.

klkatz said...

Carson...our great minds are still thinking alike.. when I saw that Myers was getting "the nod" i too was thinking about adding The Nodding head to my post... i ate there for lunch over xmas... the beer is excellent.. hopefully you got The Grog...

regardless... expect a Nodding Head tribute from me in a few days... infringement unintentional.

das411 said...

The thing I am most worried about with this team is the lack of depth. I know it's the last thing we all want, but think about what happens if one of our two superstar players gets hurt? If Howard goes down his backup is RANDALL SIMON. If Utley misses any time his backup is...um, a certain no-talent assclown?

ihatephilly said...

Saw your post on ihatephilly.com

I'll defintely exchange links with you.

I've actually been on your site a couple times before. I like it.

I'm going to put your link up now.

Thanks

GM-Carson said...

With only so much news to work with in regards to the Phillies, it's inevitable that bloggers will "repeat" certain ideas. I'll continue to look at it from a "great minds think alike" view.

If Howard goes down, Dobbs or Helms would fill in for him. If Utley goes down, most likely No-Hit Nuni...big drop off any way you look at it.