Beware, gloom and doom lies ahead...
Just a short month ago Jimmy Rollins was talking trash about how the Phillies were the team to beat in the NL East, fans were clamoring for a trade of the Donut-Eater because we needed relief and had 6 healthy starters, and spirits, hopes, and optimism were high. Fast forward to present time...we're in deep dookie!
I made a joke earlier in the week- "Like an infectious S.T.D. (just ask Burrell), once the injury bug bites one player more are to come as the disease spreads." Sometimes I truly hate being right. Freddy Garcia and Carlos Ruiz are both banged up and not ready for game action yet. Matt Smith, Geoff Geary, Chris Coste, and Tom Gordon are all a bit battered and bruised too. Wait, have no fear, Jon Lieber is still here. But just as Phillies fans have suspected for decades, God has smite us where we stand and alas Jon Lieber too has been infected by the plague.
Donut-Eater, who apparently has an oblique muscle in his belly along with the family of midgets he houses, has pulled said oblique muscle and now we're down to 4 starting pitchers. We were riding so high, we were ready to take on the world...smack, welcome back to the reality of being a Phillies fan.
Aside from injuries, it's not all warm and fuzzy like a blanket straight from the dryer, nope more like a Lifetime Original movie. In fact, this spring has been uglier than that girl you hooked up with after a case and a half of Natty Ice. Our pitching staff is in shambles, our offense has forgotten how to score runs, the defense still can't field, and our manager, well he's retarded.
Chicken Little put it best, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!". I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm finding a bomb shelter fully equipped with Twinkies and bottled water and hiding there until May.