Friday, March 16, 2007

It's Tricky

This speech is my recital. I think it's very vital. To rock a rhyme, that's right on time. It's Tricky is the title, here we go...It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky...it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.

Spring training statistics are a tricky matter, in that we wonder if they matter at all. We all know Cole Hamels possesses miraculous talent inside his left arm, but that hasn't translated into success this spring as he's currently posting a 7.00 ERA with some wildness. Our Model Dictator, Fabio Castro, has also had a rough go of things and has seen his ERA sky-rocket to an ungodly 11.05, you can't hold Cuba down with those numbers buddy. Our token lefty out of the pen Matt Smith is serving up pitches like he were a JUGS machine (16.62 ERA +3 WHIP). To be honest, all the bullpen candidates besides Joe Bisenius and Geoff Geary have been bad, and not bad meaning good but bad meaning BAD! Overall, our pitching staff has been sub par thus far, but lucky for us it's not even St. Patty's Day yet so these stats don't count.

Still we can easily be tricked into believing Jimmy Rollins has suddenly learned plate discipline (8 walks in 24 at bats), or that Shane Victorino will be the first batter since the Splendid Splinter Ted Williams to bat .400, or that Greg Dobbs will be a super utility player, or that No-Hit Nunez will actually have 8 rbi's within his first 30 at bats. But like I said before, lucky for us these stats don't mean a thing and the wins don't officially start accumulating until April 2.

Side Notes:
*Rafael Perez, the butt-bag that surrendered a homerun to Nuni this spring, has been optioned to the Indians minor league system.
*Justin Germano, Rheal Cormier trade-piece who is out of minor league options, had been pitching well and received a vote of confidence that he was earning a spot in the Phils bullpen and then promptly gave up 3 runs in 2 innings work yesterday.
*I'm starting to think Patty G may not trade Rowand or Lieber.
*After struggling mightily early in spring, Jayson Werth is coming around.

I met this little girlie, her hair was kinda curly. Went to her house and bust her out, I had to leave real early. These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me. Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said "It's not that easy". It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky!

~Carson

13 comments:

Skeeter said...

I read last night that Hamels was trying to establish his fastball in on the hitters. He couldn't do it obviously but will keep trying by Opening Day. He said he doesn't mind hitting the batters and that they should get out of the way.

...such a badass

GM-Carson said...

I'm predicting 2 bench clearing brawls this season. One incited by Hamels and the other by No-Hit Nunez after he show-boats on his only homerun of the season.

furiousBall said...

Damn it. I was in a band in Atlanta and we did a cover of Tricky. The lead singer was a hot blonde chick, we also had another hot blonde chick on guitar. The two of them rapped Tricky...I hated when they rapped. They sounded like two white girls yelling at each other. Absolutely no delivery skill at all. Thanks, no I can hear the two of them arguing at practice while I pretended to be tuning my guitar, fiddling with some sort of wirey shit that passed for my pedal system, or turning everyone of my amp knobs. Damn it, Carson you asshole...there you have been called an asshole twice this week now right?

GM-Carson said...

I love this blog and our readers- I'm officially an asshole now, twice in one week.

michael said...

furious you should of clunked their heads together and said no to the tricky cover. did you guys have arguments over which one was run, and which one was dmc with the one dude always getting stuck being jam master j like in cb4?

Skeeter said...

Wow. A CB4 reference...amazing

And I now vow to find reasons at least once a week to call Carson curse word. Asshole was obviously this week

McD said...

I like hearing that Hamels doesn't mind hitting batters. A little attitude never hurt anybdoy. It looks like Hamels is now Tougher Than Leather.

I do love the RUN DMC analogies...keep them up!


Krush Groove 4 Eva!

GM-Carson said...

Who's house? Run's house!

Damn, I'm about to go out and buy me some Adidas and rock them with no laces.

GM-Carson said...

Ok, Shane Victorino's level of success this spring has been simply awesome. He belted a 3-run shot today, is batting .421, and has stolen 3 bases. Let's just get it over with an anoint him MVP runner-up...because we all know Burrell is winning the award hands-down.

Freddy Garcia is giving a decent effort so far today- 1 run in 4 innings. Bourn stole his 5th base, dude is fast.

BloodStripes said...

It sure is tricky. Some of our pitchers suck. I'm hoping its just a smoke screen to lull the other teams into a false sense of security. So when the season proper starts the Phils are gonna come out and kick some arse!!!

das411 said...

'stripes, mcd, carson, would you say our relievers are...illin?

GM-Carson said...

I'm the king of rock, there is none higher, sucker mc's shall call me sire, and I won't stop rockin' until I'm retired.

*Our relievers are "illin'" for sure.

BloodStripes said...

Illin for sure Das. Arms gotta shape up. Better still aim up.

Cmon Phils!!!