Saturday, March 17, 2007

Green Beer and Hats, Little Beared Men, and Plenty of Luck

I know most people don't need a reason to drink, but still as Americans we like to make an official holiday for getting sh*t-faced. March 17th, St. Patty's Day, is a time to pay our respect to funny looking red-headed midgets, puke green, and say "Kiss me, I'm Irish", even though you know damn well you're German. Guzzling down mass amounts of beer can be fun, dangerous, and sometimes simply entertaining. People drink for misery, happiness, peer pressure, or because they're alcoholics...and today I offer a few good reasons to swig down a frothy green brew.

Our pitching staff was supposed to be the cream of the crop in the NL East. Well, we're two weeks away from opening day and our staff has a bloated ERA as we can't seem to hold anybody under 23 runs a game. I know "it's only Spring Training", but at some point our starters need to get people out without surrendering more runs than innings pitched, and we need to hash out the bullpen situation as most of the candidates for spots are pitching like Gavin Floyd...ouch!

Not all is gloom and doom in Phillieland, because as crappy as our pitching has been this spring our offense has been scoring at will too. Maybe we can rub up on a shamrock and hope to simply out score the opposition. Shane Victorino is playing outstanding with a .450 average, 4 stolen bases, 11 runs scored, a 1.100 OPS, and only two strikeouts in 40 at bats. Greg Dobbs, Chase Utley, Wes Helms, Karim Garcia, Ryan Howard, Michael Bourn, and Rod Barajas are also turning in a fine Grapefruit League effort.

Although most of our offensive cogs are working properly, some need a bit of tinkering or better yet- LUCK! Future 2007 NL MVP, Pat Burrell, is struggling this spring with a foot ailment and contact lenses. Fence-Face, Aaron Rowand, is batting .139 (5-36)...time to get those shoulder implants you've been contemplating. Then of course there is Abe "No-Hit" Nunez under the Mendoza-line, as if we would expect anything less or more for that matter.

Who knows, maybe Patty G on St. Patty's Day will pull off a trade involving Donut-Eater Lieber and sure up our bullpen and everything will be hokey-dokey. Or maybe spring stats don't matter and the Phils are just playing the role of hustlers. Perhaps I've given way too much thought to any of this and just need to sit back and relax.

Now go celebrate, rejuvenate, or commiserate, but me...I'm just plain exasperated.



GM-Carson said...

From "Since replacing Larry Bowa as manager two years ago, Charlie Manuel has endured constant criticism from fans and media. He's learned to ignore it and focus on trying to lead the Phillies to the playoffs for the first time since 1993.

With the 63-year-old Manuel entering the final year of his contract, the perception in Philadelphia is his job is on the line if the Phillies falter at the start as they've done the last two Aprils.

Having former managers Jimy Williams and Davey Lopes in-house as coaches puts pressure on Manuel, though general manager Pat Gillick is fond of his personality and the way he handles players.

"He's been around this game for a long time," Gillick said. "He's more concerned with the players and what goes on on the field. He has a lot of confidence in what he can do."

Since spring training opened, Manuel has stressed to his team the importance of playing well right from the start. He has said numerous times that missing the playoffs is not acceptable.

"Losing is not an option," he said."

*Ol' Fuqua is a dumbass. And I hate the line "losing isn't an option", because it is an's something that the Phils have done quite well the past 2 Aprils.

Skeeter said...

Yea, I'll go smashed now. But then wake up at 9:30 in the morning to ready myself for some sort of draft tomorrow morning. I swear I'll be puking in between picks.

...And I'll still win

GM-Carson said...

This WSBGM's Phantasy League is going to be awesome. There will be plenty of trash talking, crushed egos, sweat, blood, and tears...wait, what?!

Skeeter said...

blood and tears? What did I sign up for?... David Bell Prison Night??

Maria said...

John Marzano is going to [Got this information from the 700 level.] He was supposed to appear on Comcast Sportsnet for all 101 games but now he'll only appear on about 30.

das411 said...

Woah, Maria misses Run-DMC day but shows up for this, what gives??

BloodStripes said...

I'm gonna miss the draft considering its on about 3am monday morning. Was gonna get up but have too big a day on at work. I'm a blind deer at this anyway. Get it....I have no idea. HA!

Have another bloody Guinness!

Skeeter said...

u like guiness bloodstripes?

stick with vb mate

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- since you have no clue about fantasy baseball anyway, having the computer pick for you might be the best option. I just hope you have it set to "autopick" that way we don't have to wait a minute 30 every time it's your turn.

I watched some of the Phils game on tv yesterday before going out. Moyer is a decent pitcher. He knows how to mix his pitches in and out, up and down and he throws slow and slower. We'll be happy to have him around this season. Bisenius was wild while I saw him pitch. Our bats sucked for the first 6 innings, and pretty much the entire game (with the regulars might I add). Matt Smith didn't walk anybody but his pitches were everywhere, he needs to settle down.

BloodStripes said...

Guiness is great. Very nice beer.

I don't know how it was set but I drafted J-Roll, Hamels, Myers and Flash. Some good Phillies on the roster. Very happy about that.

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- at the draft we all thought you set your autopick to pick Phillies exclusively...good strategy!