Corey- "You have officially lost your right to talk sh*t on Chris Wheeler. I read that Benedict Arnold-like comment over at BeerLeaguer where you gave Wheels props. I threw up all over the computer and am still a little sick about it. I haven't been this disappointed since I found out Milli Vanilli didn't sing on their album."
My comment on BeerLeaguer- "I get out of work at 3:10, so hopefully I can catch the last couple innings on my new XM. I listened to the Rox and ChiSox yesterday, and I must say, the more and more I hear other teams' announcers- we are truly spoiled as Phillies fans with the voices and banter of Kalas, Larry, and gasp, even Wheeler. I like to make fun of Wheeler, but he is a good announcer even if he does say really stupid stuff some times. I look forward to hearing broadcasts from all over the league, but the Phils crew is top-notch."
Corey and I are best friends, therefore we enjoy getting a good laugh at each other's expense. When I was talking to him on the phone this weekend, he informed me that the next time I make fun of Chris Wheeler he will photoshop my face into some incriminating photos with Wheels. Basically, he is revoking my right to make fun of that handicapped Slap-Nut in the booth. I look forward to seeing these photos Corey, but for the time being I'm going to embrace my inner-Wheeler and proclaim my undying love of his commentary and unwavering loyalty to him as a top-notch announcer.
Reasons I love Chris Wheeler:
*Refers to batters swinging a "magic wand" that have the ability to seemingly place the ball wherever they want it (i.e. Juan Pierre, Ichiro Suzuki, Tony Gwynn).
*Always says the left-handed sluggers like it "middle-in"...great sexual innuendo.
*"Back she goes" when it appears the female baseball is going to land somewhere over the outfield fence.
*He has made a great living considering his mental deficiencies...better than tearing ticket stubs off at the movie theatre.
*Calls players "dirtballs" if they "play the game the right way".
*"He's a typical lefty" in regards to any left-handed pitcher that seems a bit goofy and may challenge Fuqua on an I.Q. test.
*He has a horrible time pronouncing any player of Latin descents name, because he places too much emphasis on the vowels.
*He was born and raised in Philadelphia and has been a tremendous ambassador for the city during his lifetime.