Sunday, March 18, 2007

Ballgirlz - The "Z" Makes It Cool

We have a duty, as fans of the Phillies, to know as much about the team and organization as possible. That is why I think everyone should take a few minutes, go here, and get to know the 2007 Phillies ballgirls. By clicking on their faces you can learn such useful information as their birthdays, birthplace, school, music preference, hobbies and occupation (you mean ballgirl isn't a full-time gig??) And trust me, memorizing the hobbies of Phillies ballgirls is not a waste of time or at all creepy...

If you don't have time to read about all the girls, fear not, I've summarized it below:


front row (L to R):
Teresa - from Cork, Ireland, where the sun must not have been out in the last 20 years, given the pasty-whiteness of her fivehead. She lists "all types" as her favorite music, which means she's a liar.

Katie - is a little too tan. And surprise, the "beach" is one of her hobbies. She's basically melanoma in a Phillies jersey, and I don't think the Phillies should be supporting cancer like this.

Sam - from Seoul, Korea. Do you think she knows Chan Ho Park does not pitch for the Phillies?

Kristin- describes herself as "tiny, tiny, tiny" (odd.) and likes "nerdy puzzles and games." There's such a thing as non-nerdy puzzles?

Kristine - has lots of teeth.

Jennifer - lists her hobby as teaching yet her occupation is student. For some reason, I find this perplexing. Is she teaching herself?

Debbie - does...nope, not going to make a "ball" joke. I'm above that...

back row (L to R):
Christy - is a graduate of William Paterson University and is quite blonde, which doesn't hurt anybody.

Kate - kind of looks shady. It says she went to Goldey-Beacom College, where she must have majored in Ballgirling (as did Pat Burrell) and minored in taking bad pictures.

Justine - is in the lead for my favorite ballgirl. A Levittown home and a Pittsburgh University education, she should love the Philly-'Burgh slant of WSBGM's.

Lindsay E. - is second to Kevin Mench in largest head employed by an MLB franchise. And like Kunta Kinte, she has roots.

Jamie - has the worst pic on the website. Great lighting guys, you made her look like Phantom of the Opera. She went to Holy Family University, which makes her better than us, or at least more holy.

Lindsay B. - is the taller, whiter half of the dual-Lindsays. She like all music, "even country," which is like saying "Yeah, it sucks, but I'm cool with that." That, if you think about it, is like being a Phillies fan...

Jocelyn - does not inspire me to write good things. She seems too old for this, like the high school kid who jumps in the ball-pit at Chuck E. Cheeses.

Corey

21 comments:

GM-Carson said...

To be quite honest- some of the "girlz" are freakin' hot!

Corey said...

there's 2 or 3 that are okay. for the most part, i think they're beat. next year they should hire consultants (ie me) to pick the squad, based exclusively on looks. ugly ballgirlz doesn't do anybody any good.

Cavalier92 said...

Are you guys nuts? these women are HOT. Imagine them in a bar after you have had 8-9 beers after a loss to the Mets in September. You would be all over these hotties. Just because you're all hung over from St. patty's Day you are grumpy.

GM-Carson said...

The WSBGM's Phantasy League draft has just concluded...it'll be a fun and interesting year.

Skeeter said...

...and I just dropped Nick Johnson and am picking up Michael Bourn

Can't wait for the season

GM-Carson said...

Skeeter- you should have put Nick Johnson on the DL, and then a spot on your roster would have opened up. I allowed for 2 DL players.

Skeeter said...

godamn, I'm so new to this

Maria said...

Ahh...I missed the draft. Forgot to set my alarm.

Those ballgirls [some] are super tan.

GM-Carson said...

Split-squad games today against the D-Rays and Twins. Myers went 6 innings of 2 hit zero run ball while k'ing 7. Burrell hit his 2nd homerun of the spring...thank god. Meanwhile, against the Twins our offense can't do a thing...c'mon! Let's take 2 today for the hell of it.

GM-Carson said...

The name-sake of my WSBGM's Phantasy team, Danny Sandoval aka No-Talent Ass-Clown has apparently forgotten how to field on top of being incapble of hitting. He just committed his 5th error of the spring.

Los said...

I used to be a PR intern for the Eagles ... I met some very "interesting" cheerleaders when I was there.

GM-Carson said...

by "interesting" do you mean so amazingly hot that you could barely contain yourself?

GM-Carson said...

We lost both games today.

Danny Sandoval committed 3 erros (6 total this spring).

Alfonseca is sucking and ruined a dominant Myers start.

Flash pitched, but gave up a run and got the loss.

Overall, a crappy day.

klkatz said...

where's the diversity? I think the Ball girls should match the diversity of the Phillies...

we'll need a Hawaiin, a few Dominicans, a Panamanian, a Canadian (barajas is a canuck!), a couple of venezuelans, and someone from Donutville...

plus we'll need to sprinkle some color in there as well.

D. Page said...

I'm just glad you guys took the time to post this. Off the cuff Phillies knowledge at its finest.

das411 said...

This post needs to be permalinked somehow to your guys main page...damn!

BloodStripes said...

A fine summary of the Phillie chicks. What a treat. I could see you doing a fine job as a consultant Corey. Busty and blonde and the way.

O.K so now I have a fantasy team. Now what? Waivers, DL and stuff. I have no eye deer.

BloodStripes said...

What should I look for most on the starting roster? OPS, BA, runs? Whats best?

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- you get points based on your ranking in each of the 12 categories, out of 15 teams. For example, if you're rated last in each category you only will have 12 points, but if you're ranked first 180. Just go for the best players. Wait until the season starts to hit up the waiver wire, unless you have someone on your team that is horrible. You can also suggest trades with any team.

GM-Carson said...

I had no idea Rod Barajas was born in Ontario, I had to look it up because I thought KLKatz was making a joke.

By the way, the Phils ball girls can wear, blue, white, red, or grey uniform tops...what more color do you need?

klkatz said...

Carson. No doubt, I do my research.

And I guess blue is the new black...