Thursday, February 15, 2007

Load the truck, it's that time.


Winter just got done rearing its ugly head over my back yard and much of the northeast seaboard. Forget the blustery conditions up here and lets focus on the important stuff like pine tar, rosin bags, and games of pepper in the on-deck circle. I hope the Phils packed the truck with all the goodies and necessities they'll need over the next month and a half, because it's time for spring training!
Travel List:
1. 14 cases of Ben Gay, and no I'm not talking about your buddy Ben's closet alter-ego.
2. 100 pouches of Big League Chew, preferably the original bubble gum flavor...I'm a traditionalist.
3. 250 balls, baseballs that is. The total number of balls in camp otherwise depends on the amount of players invited, which would be an odd number if Kruk attended.
4. 1 jock-in-the-box, seriously how can you deny the hours of fun this would produce?
5. 100 jockstraps, because Howard, Rowand, and Utley at least need two each and Lieber could use them as a bra.
6. 3 ball-and-chains, because Utley and Hamels recently became hitched, and apparently Burrell has settled down with a lovely young stripper.
7. 1 axe- to rid the team of Danny Sandoval and Abe Nunez...no use making two axes dirty.
8. 1 bottle opener- customized with Scott Graham's voice, so that you can make fun of that ass-hat the drunker you get. Pop a top again!
9. 723 bottles of Advil, for when Charlie gets a headache from thinking too much.
10. Box of tissues, for when Chris Coste gets the shaft and the Disney feel-good story comes to a bitter tearful end.
11. A tape recorder so that we can get an official count on how many lame things Chris Wheeler says.
12. 200 bags of sunflower seeds, this is baseball isn't it?
13. 1 of whatever the hell this thing is, looks like fun.

~Carson

14 comments:

Skeeter said...

Two things:

About the Big League Chew...awesome

About the title of this post...did you see lieber's truck. Jesus Christ!! It's bigger than my apartment. That fat ass probably keeps a buffet in the back of it.

GM-Carson said...

...a buffet of Dunkin' Donuts!

The Big League Chew part was my small tribute to you Skeeter.

Muller said...

I like Scott Graham. He enjoys

"PHILLIES GRAHAM SLAM ICE CREAM FROM TURKEY HILL"

Muller said...

...so does Lieber.

das411 said...

http://tinyurl.com/yv8j94

^ Can this thing be our setup man?

Skeeter said...

you are too kind Carson

BloodStripes said...

Rich Dubee has a truck coming from Mexico. 50 pounds of the finest Acapulco Gold! And dont forget the 250 cases of Yuengling. It gets hot in Florida right? Pat is gonna need a drink.

GM-Carson said...

I forgot to add Dubee's ganga to the list, because Benjah will be needing some of that too.

And remember the 250 cases of Yuengling has to be Premium, because that my friends is the "nectar of the Gods" or more simply put "vitamin Y".

goDuke said...

The best news of the offseason in my opinion was "Burrell got engaged" thats right college girls, its now safe to come to CBP again! Hopefully this is a sign of a newfound maturity in our boy. If so I am projecting Pat Burrell as the next NL MVP.

GM-Carson said...

GoDuke- Burrell NL MVP? Rather ballsy prediction, although I know it was said in jest. I expect a similar season to what he did last year. Here' my line .270 35 hr 115 rbi, because Manuel will see he needs to be in the lineup instead of scrub Roberson.

goDuke said...

Carson don't you think a good woman can push him up to 40 HR? lol. It was in jest of course, but can you imagine if he somehow managed to cut down the K's (and esp. the backward K's) and stay healthier then he has been... it could be a monster year for him and the Phils. I heard Leslie Gudel on WIP this morning talking to Ang & Crew and she said he seems to maybe have seen the light... thats her first impression of him this year... that maybe he finally got it.

GM-Carson said...

To be quite honest, him getting engaged is probably a good thing. Will mean less partying and more home time.

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pedro velasquez said...

You've bet basketball booked your moving truck and packed your belongings, now it's time to think about moving day. If you're like my husband, then you'll want to plan how the truck should be loaded. I have to admit, I'm not the most patient mover. sportsbook I tend to want to just get it done; hopefully, my husband will never read this since I'm about to admit that advance planning on how to load the truck is a good idea. But that's between you and me. If you want to be really detailed and organized, march madness do a walk-through of your house and note the order in which items are loaded. Make a list and group similar sized boxes together. This will make moving day go a lot smoother and faster.
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