Friday, February 16, 2007

JD Drew Is A Self-Cleaning Oven

from Deadspin.com:

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The One With the 'Stache and Perm...
I love Wikipedia. First the hotpants story, now this. Under their general Phillies entry, they list a few celebrity fans. Some nice names: Bill Cosby, Will Smith, Jerry Garcia, Kevin Bacon (Tremors is awesome...), Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. Can't complain about that. But then there are these guys: Ryan Phillippe (for some reason, I can't stand this guy...), Beanie Sigel (I thought it was celebrity fans?). But one guy stood out from all the others. John Oates. Yep, that John Oates. The guy who looks like the hideous result of a Ron Jeremy, Sal Fasano, and Super Mario threesome. The crappier half of Hall & Oates. (It fits though, they also list Art Garfunkel as a fan...) But still, the dude rocks. "You Make My Dreams" and "Rich Girl" are two great songs, and I know Carson is a "Maneater" fan. Seriously, he likes "Maneater."

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Time Saver
I want to thank the Orioles. Recently, they signed former Met pitcher Steve Trachsel. I don't really care that the O's seemingly took a starting pitcher from the Phil's rival (and pitching depleted) NY Mets. No, I'm excited because it means that I don't have to waste 4 freaking hours watching that overly-methodical jackass pitch any more. Step off the mound. Rub the ball. Toe the rubber. Look to first. Look to home. Shake off the sign. Step off again. Take off the cap. Wipe the brow. Toss the rosin. Toe the rubber. Look to home. Nod (slowly) in agreement. Come to the stretch. Look to first. Look to first. ENOUGH!!! He can feel free to bore fans all around the Junior Circuit with his ridiculous pace, but I think I speak for NL fans everywhere when I wish Trachsel a fond fairwell out of our league.
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Hillbilly Wet Dream
This is Jon Lieber's truck. You can go to Deadspin.com and read all about it. What I find more interesting is that the picture of Jon Lieber's truck has C.F. Manuel in the foreground, drooling his Levi Garrett all over the ground. And of course it does, because Manuel is drawn to this truck like Odysseus to the Sirens. The love of big trucks, along with chew tobacco, foam-front hats and intra-family love, is ingrained in his white trash DNA. Ten bucks says he has slept in, on or under this truck since the day he saw it. I just hope this doesn't interfere with his concentration and affect his superb managerial skills...

Corey

39 comments:

Corey said...

Oprah, Jime Thome, Charles Nelson Reilly, vagina, Sal Fasano, Hall & Oates, Ron Jeremy, big trucks, Super Mario Bros. and Charlie Manuel....I wish I could have worked Steve Jeltz into the blog today...

GM-Carson said...

Dude- you out did yourself with today's post. Awesome job.

By the way, I do like "ManEater"...kwality song!

Scotty said...

I couldn't hold out any longer. I had to sign up and participate on your blog. I am a huge baseball fan, been around it my whole life, and just to create controversy, I am a Mets Fan!!!

That being said, the Trachsel Blog is so true, Greg Maddux throws complete games before Steve Trachsel can get out of the first inning. Usually with a lower pitch count!! Another nice move on Omar's part by not trying to sign him again.

Oh Yeah, nice work in the Playoffs Steve!

GM-Carson said...

2 things:

1) Thome's wife is hot. Remember when he hit is 400th homerun and his kid almost pulled her boob out while celebrating?

2) Thome said he would "get ragged on" in regards to dousche and the White Sox...priceless!

GM-Carson said...

Scotty, 'bout damn time you became a commenter on here! And just so you know, the Mets suck! Well not really, their offense is top notch, but that rotation is more leaky than a 95 year-old.

michael said...

f'n hilarious post today. loved the oates pic as well. that dude had the craziest teeth ever!

Scotty said...

Yeah I know. I think they had a pretty good off season as far as their bullpen goes, but they needed to add another solid #2 or #3 starter. Jason Schmidt or Zito would have been huge. Pedro is too sketchy and none of their starters are getting any younger.

The two rookies they have are supposed to be studs but you know how that goes with the Mets. Let us not forget the second coming of the Holy Trinity when they had Jason Isringhausen, Bill Pulsipper, and Paul Wilson in their system at the same time. They seem to have a knack for screwing up potential on the mound.

GM-Carson said...

The Mets should grant Heilman his wish and let him start.

I remember when Wayne Gomes, Gavin Floyd, and Tyler Green were top-notch prospects for the Phils...sad!

furiousBall said...

If you had only included Ted Nuggent and Herve Villechaize, this would be the best post ever.

Jeebus, Lieber's truck is retarded. They should just give him a bumper sticker that says F the homeless and the troops.

GM-Carson said...

Ted Nuggent "wang dang sweet putang"...oh yeah!

That's not a truck Lieber is driving, that's my life's wages.

Scotty said...

They will have to wait until the end of May now due to the Mota suspension they cant afford to have both of them out of the bullpen at the same time.

If I may make a request, after viewing the Steve Jeltz piece, which was nicely done by the way, I was wondering if I could request the next philly to be profiled??

Just in case I can, here is my request: Sixto Lezcano. He was with the Phightins from 1983-1984 hit .280, with 14 dingers in 127 games. Plus his name is Sixto for heaven's sake, let's give this man some ink.

Skeeter said...

Corey, you have inspired me to go out to blockbuster, rent tremors and watch it all day. The married couple in that movie with the house full of like 1,000 guns is amazing. Great reference

michael said...

damn scotty, way to go old school.

i expect to see 'the nuge' in the back of leiber's truck while he's driving just wailin' on a guitar. he has satellite tv in that damn thing..thats just rediculous and i heard an actual dunkin donuts store with 3 employees workin 24/7

GM-Carson said...

Skeeter- I got that movie for my 21st b-day...awesome flick. I remember renting it for my 13th b-day party...remember Corey? By the way, the wife in that married couple was Reba McEntire with the elephant rifle...bang!

Scotty- Sixto has been mentioned before, try this link- http://pabaseball.blogspot.com/search?q=sixto+lezcano
enjoy!

GM-Carson said...

From FoxSports- "Although Chris Coste is listed as a catcher, he isn't expected to catch this season - if he makes the Phillies. Coste, who hit .328 in 65 games last season, will fight for one of the final two bench jobs. The other top candidates include outfielder Karim Garcia and infielder Greg Dobbs, both of whom hit lefthanded, with infielder Randall Simon and outfielders Chris Roberson and Michael Bourn also in the mix. "What Coste did last year definitely has to be considered," manager Charlie Manuel said. "He caught in big games down the stretch. He showed he definitely can do the job in the major leagues, and he definitely can come off the bench and hit. "He can play first base, a little bit at third. He'll catch some. I put him in left field when I had him in Cleveland. "I know Coste can hit. He hit righthanded pitchers last year better than lefties." Manuel thinks Coste would be fine in a pinch-hitting role. "I think that's one of his biggest assets," Manuel said."

Roberson and Coste should get the bench spots. Coste because he's a legit pinch-hitter and Roberson because of his defense and speed. Although it would be nice if Roberson could at least learn how to slap a single every 4th trip to the plate so he wouldn't be worthless in that department.

GM-Carson said...

Speaking of Roberson, this from FoxSports- "Not to rain on the Phillies' parade of enthusiasm for the way outfielder Chris Roberson played in the Mexican Winter League, but much-traveled lefty Bruce Chen, 0-7 with a 6.93 in the big leagues last year, was 5-0, 0.72 with a .114 opponents batting average there this offseason."

Kind of puts things in perspective doesn't it?

goDuke said...

Ouch. I heard that Charlie said the fact that Coste is a righty won't hurt his chances to make the roster. He's not gonna take a lefty just for the sake of him being a lefty, best player he said. Lets hope Coste can make it... its one of those feel good stories you always hear about...

GM-Carson said...

The Coste story is made for Disney. Can't wait to see the movie.

Bob D said...

I was reading about pitchers who could be potential closers. They pointed out that Adam Eaton held players to a .208 BA in the 1st inning but much higher after that. Sounds like a possible setup guy and or closer if Leiber stays with a good spring.

GM-Carson said...

If Eaton can be an effective reliever, then sure plug him in.

Hot fans link- http://www.frustratedfanzone.com/

Where's Burrell's Girls and Chase's Chicks?

michael said...

i agree with you guys i think coste definately deserves a spot on the roster. he had a really good year last year and i think he would definately be a better bench player than the likes of randall simon or gregg dobbs. we shall see.

GM-Carson said...

By the way- I'm setting up the WSBGM's Phantasy League this weekend and will be emailing everyone. We're going with 15 teams, which will be very interesting and competitive.

Fat Ted said...

I think you may have gone a little harsh on the white trash thing there corey. I know the hatred you guys have for manuel here, but you should look out you might offend some of your readers here.
That being said I'm not at all white trash I just kind of admire a big truck like that that costs over $200k.

O yea and can't wait for the fantasy baseball.

michael said...

jeeze fat ted with the back handed insult. haha.
i'm excited for the phantasy league. should be a lot of fun.

GM-Carson said...

If you're insulted by the "white trash" comments I worry about you. Yes, they were "un-p.c." but the things Corey said were funny not degrading. Just so people know, we each grew up in the country surrounded by "red necks and hicks" so we know what we're making fun of.

GM-Carson said...

And as I once said at a county fair- "the greatest thing about white trash is they don't know they're white trash".

Fat Ted said...

I forgot sarcasm doesn't show up well on the internet. I was just kidding guys.
But really let's not hate on the truck, unless you admit you are jealous.

Corey said...

love the truck, and i love white trash people. hell, one of my favorite movies is "joe dirt." also, you can't offend white trash people with a blog, because if they actually can read, and actually can afford a computer, all they do is look at porn (which for them, is a john deere tractor with the hood up...)

GM-Carson said...

Fat Ted- sarcasm is lost on computers...no worries bro.

Corey- I'm nominating this for one of our best blogs ever. The post itself was awesome and the comments have been icing on the cake!

Remember Dirt tried to pass his name off as Joe Deer-tay. And the dog's balls stuck on the porch, laugh so hard I cried!

Scotty said...

thanks for the Sixto link, should have known you crazy asses would have found a way to work him in.

Kudos!!

GM-Carson said...

Nice profile Scotty, I see you have a liking for porn. Little confused to why a dude is your favorite porn star though?

Maria said...

I like the introduction with JD and Oprah. A little bit confused when I first saw the title and not having seen the video.

-For the record, I want Chris Coste on the bench.

Maryland Orioles' Fan said...

I tell you what, you guys are off the hook - OMG.

You made a shitty week awesome for with this post. Good lord, I nearly barfed my dinner!

BloodStripes said...

That truck of Leiber's is insane. No wonder half the South Pacific islands are sinking with global warming. Its fatboy Leiber's fault!

GM-Carson said...

Got home at 1:15 from a night of drinking with Corey. Rambled on and on in bed until 2-something, and now wide awake at 7:15...what the hell?

Good times last night Corey, good times!

By the way Bloodstripes, what is this "global warming" you speak of, it's the first time I've heard of it.

Los said...

Lieber is such a tool.

Wouldn't it be great if they brought the Match Game back, and put it on HBO?

GM-Carson said...

Los- I watch old Match Game on Game Show Network. If they brought it back on HBO I wouldn't be able to watch it, I'm too cheap to pay for premium channels.

Maria said...

I like watching the old Match Games with Brett Somers, Richard Dawson, and CNR.

BloodStripes said...

C'mon GM you know what I'm talking about.