Friday, January 26, 2007

Mailbag

The Hot Stove isn't very hot right now, and Spring Training is still a few weeks away. What can a Phillies fan do to pass the time? Crunch numbers from all of the "knowledgeable" experts and formulate your own projections...boring! I'd rather get to know the team on a personal level in an informal Q&A session. So, lets open the mailbag and hear what the team has to say in response.

I am a huge Brett Myers fan, and was wondering if he felt his status of staff ace was infringed upon with the acquisition of Freddy Garcia?
~Mike Tyson, Las Vegas

Brett- Freddy and I will battle it out for the privilege to become the #1 starter. I'm not going to beat myself up if I happen to be slotted into the 2 or 3 spot in the rotation. I plan on knocking the opposition out no matter what day I pitch. Also, look for improved swings from me at the plate this season, as I've been practicing the art of hitting.

I'm a fixture in the left field seats at Citizen's Bank Park, and was glad to see the Phillies keep Pat Burrell. What type of season can we expect from our resident hunk?
~Hauttie Whorinski, Twin Peaks


Pat- I can't wait until the warm weather rolls in and the ladies are screaming my name while jumping up and down in their itty-bitty tank tops. (Drag) I love baseball, I love women, I love partying, and I love booze (exhale). Wait, what the hell was the question again (hiccup, burp)?


As a paraplegic athlete, which consequently means I'm always an underdog, I was speculating how that no-talent ass-clown Danny Sandoval must feel.
~Eturnully Handecapt, Mount Olympus


Danny- First off, I do not appreciate the pseudonym that you have bestowed upon me. I am a top-notch prospect that will one day be an All-Star and batting champion. My future seems grim with the Phillies because I'm currently blocked by lesser ability players in the form of Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley. A far superior organization will see the "diamond in the rough" that I am and make a trade for me...then watch me blossom!

I'm glad to see Charlie Manuel back for the 2007 season. The man is a great in-game strategist and eloquent speaker. What does he see the team being able to do this season?
~Hugh Dumass, Podunk Falls


Charlie- Well, uh, I think we got a pretty durn good shot. We, uh, just gotta score more runs than the other teams. I will miss the clubhouse presence of David Bell and Arthur Rhodes, but we just need to keep on truckin'. We gonna put a hurtin' on the league, uh, we just need to do what we do and, uh, take it game by game, and, uh, relax, and, uh, trust ourselves, and, uh well you know, win.

What are the chances that our Model Dictator, Fabio Castro, makes the squad this year?
~Javier Juan Julio Rodriguez Santiago Ramirez, Cuba


Fabio- Apesadumbrado, no puedo hablar inglÃes.

~Carson

30 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I must admit that I actually made myself laugh after reading this. I am proud to have produced this totally useless, moronic, but hilarious entry today.

GM-Carson said...

Funny I mentioned Art Rhodes in this piece today, as he just signed with Seattle...schmucks!

goDuke said...

Nice work. As a member of the John Lieber Donut Devourers fan club, I am dissappinted that there was no donut questions....

GM-Carson said...

GoDuke- there may be future installments of Phillies mailbag, and Lieber might just get to speak his mind.

goDuke said...

Good stuff. Dr. Donut deserves a shot to let everyone know whats going on in the wonderful world of Krispy Kreme.

furiousBall said...

I just want to point out that I saw Charlie's mail bag the other day in gigantic blue capital letters it says "MALE"

GM-Carson said...

I apologize if anyone else is also experiencing problems with our site this morning. Corey and I are thinking about upgrading to a new blogger anyway, so hopefully in the future we won't have these difficulties.

GM-Carson said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again- Charlie Manuel is a DUMBASS!!!

GM-Carson said...

Tid-Bits: the Pirates are the only MLB club that hasn't signed a free agent to a guaranteed MLB contract. Way to break out the bick bucks Littlefield!

The Donut-Eatin-Lieber to Buccos rumor has heated up again, as they are still searching for a right-handed starter. The Phils need bullpen help too, this might be a nice fit.

Bob D said...

Carson you may just eat those words in the future about Danny Sandoval. He may just be that top notch prospect. Its possible that he maybe the starter during the 2nd half of the year and put up a 475 BA with 8 donuts and 60 RBIs.

And why does noone like the laid back, southern style, take time to think during your sentence type of non brain cell killing talk?

Can't wait till next Friday's MALE BAG!


LOL

GM-Carson said...

From Buster Olney- "• The Phillies and Padres have kicked around a possible Aaron Rowand trade, a discussion that could continue after spring training begins. The two sides could have a natural match: The Phillies are looking for bullpen help, and the Padres would like to add a veteran outfielder, and a defense that included Rowand and Mike Cameron and Brian Giles could be exceptional."

I'm cool with trading Rowand for someone like Scott Linebrink, but that means we then need to deal Lieber for an outfielder.

Bob D said...

Yeah an OF of Burrell / Vic / Werth does not sound highly trustworthy.

Burrell / Rowand / Vic is not bad at all.

GM-Carson said...

I like Rowand and all but he's expendable. If Gillick got creative and traded Rowand for one of the Padres plethora of solid relievers and then turned Jon Lieber into a corner outfielder like Jacque Jones, we'd be nice!

Add Cla Meredith or Scott Linebrink to our bullpen. And put Victorino in CF with Burrell and Jones at the corners...sweet improvement!

chuckm said...

I can see where the Padres would want Rowand as they do have an outfielder position that needs filling. Rowand would cover a lot of ground in that cavern they play in and his average offense would be an improvement on Termel Sledge (currently #1 on Pod LF depth chart). However, Linebrink and Meredith are money and its tough to find guys who can deliver year-in/out
in middle relief/set-up role.

chuckm said...

Bob- I may be sounding harsh on Rowand, but I would take a Burrell, Vic, Werth/??? platoon over Burrell, Rowand and Vic.

GM-Carson said...

What would you rather have? A. Rowand, Lieber, and current bullpen - or - B. Jacque Jones, Linebrink/Meredith?

I'll take option B!

chuckm said...

No doubt, option B. Carson ,whats the story with Jones? Are the Cubs shopping him? If so, it would seem the only trading chip the Phillies would have is Lieber, but being that the Cubs seem to have their rotation set (Zambrano, Prior, Lilly, Marquis, Hill) they wouldnt have a need for Lieber.

GM-Carson said...

Trust me, with that rotation the Cubs would love Lieber. And yes they are shopping Jacque Jones, especially since they signed Cliff Floyd a few days ago.

chuckm said...

Carson. Thanks for the info about Jones. I didnt know that the Cubs were going with Floyd as a fulltime player and thought they brought him on as a 4th OF. Or are the Cubs going to bring up Feliz Pie? Lieber would improve the Cubs rotation, but I cant see the Cubs laying out the dinero for Lilly and Marquis and sticking one of them in the pen to make room for Lieber. Maybe if Priors arm goes down during spring training...

GM-Carson said...

The Cubs want an outfield of Floyd, Pie, Murton, and Soriano. That leaves Jock Jones out to the pastuer. They still feel very uneasy about their rotation with the fragile state of Prior and the unknown commodity of Rich Hill/Marshall. Who knows if this is even possible, I made the Cub rumor up myself.

GM-Carson said...

After a crappy day at work, I had an awesome car ride home. First off, it's Friday, aka weekend, and I'm listening to my XM Radio when Paula Abdul- The Way That You Love Me comes on (Corey and I were huge fans), so of course I'm rocking out singing all the lyrics. Next comes my favorite song of all time- The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. To top it all off The Ramones end a perfect trifecta with Listen To My Heart...like I said, a great ride home.

goDuke said...

If you only have to listen to 3 songs and you're home, I am way jealous.

GM-Carson said...

GoDuke- there was much more than 3 songs, I just thought it was awesome that they were all in a row. My commute is 40 minutes.

Bob D said...

Jones does have a better upside than Rowand on offense.

Che said...

Hey yinz. I'm still alive, just busy busy busy.

Maryland Orioles' Fan said...

y'all are funny :-)

I don't know if you all needed to pass time and post something for the sake of posting, but this was good...

The O Post will have a Phillies preview before the weekend is out.

das411 said...

TheGoodPhight has some interesting Lieber trade rumors, one of course is for Ryan Church b/c they are assclown statheads over there, but another I thought interesting was to the Twins for Juan Rincon. At the moment their rotation is Sandy Koufax, Carlos Silva, and 3 rookies, with their depth starter being ex-National gascan Ramon Ortiz. Picking up one of their relievers would be nice, let's hope Gillick does that instead of asking for a Rondell White or Nick Punto instead...

GM-Carson said...

To be honest, this might be my favorite post I've ever done, as I really just cracked myself up with it. I did it for pure amusement.

Now back to reality. Das411- I saw those rumors and didn't like any of them except the Juan Rincon/Twins one.

I'm going to throw this name out there- Geoff Jenkins. Lieber to Brewers for Jenkins or Mench almost went down earlier in the offseason. Jenkins could start in RF against righties and Werth against lefties, with once again Vic in CF.

RB said...

I have a question....do you think Jimmy Rollins is being a little cocky here before the season starts. He's saying the Phillies are the beast of the east and you'll see us in the playoffs this year. I think he should just shut his mouth and play. The team hasn't done anything for the past 14 years. Just let your play on the field be your talk. Just shutup Jimmy!

GM-Carson said...

Most of the time I would agree with you RB, but this Phils as a team needs a fire lit up under their asses, so J-Roll's comments were welcome in my opinion. Back-to-back 10-14 Aprils have doomed us out of the gate. Jimmy's comments should inspire confidence in the team and work to their advantage...my opinion of course.