Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Fat Boys

The Hot Stove rumor mill can be a funny thing. For example, the Phillies having interest in the hefty-lefty David Wells. Why would Patty G be intrigued by a 43 year old that has a bigger beer belly and John Goodman? Well, Gillick did draft Wells in the Toronto organization way back in '82, and we all know he has a penchant for reacquiring ex players. Anyway, speculation has Wells coming to Philly then turning Brett Myers into a middle of the order hitter via trade. Personally, I think Myers is a solid pitcher and will still improve, and trading away young quality pitching just doesn't make sense. Plus, David Wells is a washed-up fatty, even more so than our residential tubs Jon Lieber.

Maybe Gillick wants to carry 7 starters, because of the fragile state of Hamels and Eaton, the oldness of Moyer, and the tendency of Myers to be hot-headed. Or maybe Gillick is trying to bring back the glory days of fat-ass relievers. I can see it now, the 2007 Phils have both Lieber and Wells in the bullpen as a "veteran presence" and have to bring back the use of the bullpen cart to wheel their plump bottoms to the mound. Imagine Wells and Lieber rolling to the mound in a pimped out bullpen cart with the Fat Boys pumping from the stadium speakers...classic. While Gillick is shopping for pitchers, he should check on the availability of Rich Garces...loved that fatty.



~Carson

19 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Just read from another source that the Phils have real interest in David Wells. I'm so confused as to why.

More rumors- Trot Nixon is drawing interest from both Bucs and Phils.

~Carson

furiousBall said...

Apparently picking up gimpy pitchers with sub-par ERAs is this year's black.

More rumors - Carmen Electra is drawing interest from me.

goDuke said...

Everyone cross your fingers that its David Bell the Phillies are after not David Wells. At least Bell wouldn't kill the season. Getting Wells and then getting rid of Myers is insane. NO NO NO NO NO!

GM-Carson said...

GoDuke- I beg to differ, bringing David Bell aboard yet again would be the worst move ever! I hate that fairy-footed h-mo!

~Carson

chuckm said...

I dunno about this. Even if the Phillies are interested in Wells, Boomer has been vociferous in his hate of CBP. Wells also had a pretty contentious relationship with and not too many nice words about PG in his (Wells') autobio.

GM-Carson said...

From various readings-
"The Phils will try to pry a setup man from teams with bullpen surpluses, most likely with one that needs a starter. Talks with the Pirates, Rangers and Brewers have failed. "We're trying to find a team out there, but it takes two, sometimes three, to tango," Ruben Amaro said."

"The Phillies have no interest in any of the available, healthy free-agent relievers as setup men, including Rick White, who pitched for them last season."

"It appears the Teflonics have drawn a don't-pass line in the Phillies 2007 payroll ledger. So don't expect GM Pat Gillick to do anything bullpen-related unless he can dump Jon Lieber's salary."

"Ryan Howard is shopping for a new agent. As far as the Phillies are concerned, he can take his time. "We're not doing something on Ryan Howard. He's not our priority," assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said. The Phillies' priorities in the next few weeks are named Chase Utley, Brett Myers, Aaron Rowand, Geoff Geary and Ryan Madson. Those are the Phillies' five arbitration-eligible players. Howard, the National League Rookie of the Year in 2005 and the MVP in 2006, is a year away from being eligible for arbitration. It sounds as if he's at least a year away from being signed to any long-term deal, though the Phillies have indicated that Howard should expect something around a $1 million raise over his $355,000 salary. "Right now, Howard is far less a priority than those five guys," Amaro said. "It's likely to be a year-to-year thing at this point."

*Also- the Pirates signed Jose Hernandez to keep a Phucco in the Phamily.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Let it be known- David Wells in a Phils uni is a horrible idea by any stretch of the imigination.

~Carson

chuckm said...

A scenario I read was obtaining Wells and then shipping Myers to Tampon Bay for Carl Crawford. This all sounds pretty far-fetched. The other board chatter I have read is the Phillies signing the near useless Todd Hollingsworthless. Not a good idea at all and I hope this doesnt happen.

GM-Carson said...

Soon as I heard the Phils were shopping for a left-handed batter off the bench I thought of the shit-fest Todd Hollandsworth...he sucks! I'd rather have Radal Simon back taking hacks at every pitch imiginable than suffering through a season of Hollandsworth...yuck!

~Carson

michael said...

i think none of it will happen. myers will not be traded, the wells talk is complete bs because its a slow point in the offseason and people are just reaching for anything. although i had this horrible dream last night they traded myers and all we got back was a draft pick and some cash. i woke up all crazed and was half asleep and started to think it was real. i was very disapointed but then relieved when i realized it was just a dream.

goDuke said...

I am as big a David Bell hater as anyone. I just really think David Wells would be horrific in pinstripes. I hope its just a lull in the action and someone was trying to be funny. Go Phils!

GM-Carson said...

GoDuke- glad to hear your support us on the Hate-David-Bell campaign...gosh he sucks! And you're right, Wells is horrific as well.

This is a slow point in the offseason right now. Gillick still has a very thin bullpen to address...that's the only frightening me at the moment.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

From Peter Gammons- "Any of us can sit here with the winds howling off Buzzards Bay during the 12 days of Christmas and predict that, say, the Phillies will play the Indians in the World Series with an opening matchup of Cole Hamels and Jeremy Sowers."

Phils need love too!

~Carson

goDuke said...

I read that Gammons thing too... ESPN Insider, the best Christmas gift ever. The Phils just might have the rotation to do it, if they don't F it up by dealing Myers.

BenJah said...

adding david wells, trot nixon and todd hollinsworth

shipping out brett meyers, david dallucci

listening to the hot stove rumors for this team is probably more painful than watching them blow their wild card chances....in consecutive years!

Los said...

Wells would be worth it only because of the sound bites and news stories about his escapades at Pat's ...

das411 said...

Has anybody ever actually seen Rick White and David Wells in the same place at the same time...??

GM-Carson said...

Rick White and David Wells were actually Siamese twins at birth that have since been split, White is right-handed Wells left.

~Carson

CWokk said...

You all are stupid. David Bell shows more class than anyone on the Phillies. God forbid you don't like him b/c he is a better defensive player than offensive. It is obvious you are just a fan and haven't ever put a jock on in your life.