With nothing much brewing in regards to the Hot Stove, I've decided to have some fun with today's post and make it utterly pointless. Sure, I could be reporting on the possible three-way action with the Pirates, Yankees, and Braves. But who in their right mind wants a mental picture of Littlefield catching it in a menage a trois from Cashman and Schuerholz? Ha-ha, made you think it! I could also be discussing possible Fatty Lieber destinations, but that's getting old. Hence the need for something entirely inane, so I bring to you the 2006 Battle of PA Mascots.
The swashbuckling Pittsburgh Pirate versus the Phillie Phanatic...who wins? At first glance the Pirate appears to have the upperhand because of his ability to wield a sword and the Phanatic is merely green and fuzzy. Pirates have been known to be uncouth and pillage from time-to-time, so sportsmanship isn't a top priority. Physically speaking the Phanatic is a fat-ass so his agility is probably not a strong suit. So things look pretty bad for the most enamored mascot in professional sports...until he goes gansta on that old-school Pirate and whips out his gat.
You best recognize! That's my boy the Phanatic blazing his gun, and now you know it's all over. A sword doesn't stand a chance against a gun unless you're Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. So in the end the Phanatic beats out the Pirate in this battle to death because of his thug mentality. Not even that queer parrot is going to save the Pirate in this situation.
Disappointed I didn't converse about pertinent baseball related matters? Yeah, me too, but it was fun nonetheless.