Monday, December 11, 2006

For Hire

As advertised on the official Philadelphia Phillies web site, this fine assortment of college-aged ladies can be hired for an event. These ballgirls would surely make any occasion special. However, I thought this type of "business" was only legal in Las Vegas, and the "entrepreneurs" had to be licensed. I always knew there was something shady about the Phillies owners.

While we're on the topic of "for hire" I decided to take a peep at the remaining free agents. Phils are supposedly still shopping for a left-handed hitting outfielder, bullpen help, and a 3rd catcher. None of these names are stellar, but here is the quick rundown.

Catcher- Sandy Alomar Jr., Rod Barajas, Einar Diaz, Mike DiFelice, Robert Fick, Todd Greene, Doug Mirabelli, Todd Pratt, and Chris Widger. If I had to pick from this lot, I would go with Fick because of his ability to catch, play 1st, and corner OF, plus he's a lefty. Phils have been linked in rumors to Barajas, but he'll want a multi-year deal worth millions...not worth it, because Ruiz and Coste will do just fine.

Bullpen- Doug Brocail, Mike DeJean, Keith Foulke, Ryan Franklin, Eric Gagne, Eddie Guardado, Matt Herges, Dustin Hermanson, Ray King, Dan Kolb, Tom Martin, Brian Meadows, Kent Merker, Jose Mesa, Jeff Nelson, Darren Oliver, Arthur Rhodes, David Riske, J.C. Romero, Rudy Seanez, Scott Schoeneweis, Ron Villone, and Rick White. Please do not shoot me for mentioning Rhodes, Franklin, and Mesa in a Phillies uniform again, I apologize. Some of these guys have broken down parts, but have experienced success in the past. If I had to pick a righty and a lefty to take a risk on, I'd pick Riske and Oliver. Riske has great strikeout potential, and Oliver could be used in long relief, situational lefty, or spot starter.


Left-Handed Hitting Outfielder- Jeromy Burnitz, Darin Erstad, Steve Finley, Cliff Floyd, Todd Hollandsworth, Aubrey Huff, Ryan Klesko, Rickey Ledee, Kenny Lofton, Trot Nixon, Matt Stairs, Michael Tucker, Daryle Ward, and Bernie Williams. Huff is intriguing because he can play 3rd and 1st as well, but he wants a hefty contract. Nixon is decent too, but he wants to start, not something the Phils are offering for this role. Stairs and Ward would be fine fits, but they're rumored to be striking deals with other teams already. Tucker and Ledee have been Phillies before, but are beyond washed up. Therefore, I'd take Bernie Williams...yep I said it. He can still hit (actually a switch-hitter), and it would give Wheeler a new player to talk about- "he's does all the little things right" and "he's a winner".

Of course all of this speculation could be put to rest when Gillick decides to trade that donut-eatin-sonna-bitch Jon Lieber.

~Carson

36 comments:

goDuke said...

Since we couldn't get the donut brothers (Lieber and Carlos Lee) together, Gillick has no other option then to deal Lieber for a skinny guy. We can't have half of the donut brotherhood here. Its just not right.

GM-Carson said...

Speaking of donuts- Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts? I prefer Dunkin Donuts, as Corey and I have been known to put a hurtin' on a box of them.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

i've got the bar set up in the basement. as soon as the pole and strobe light are in place, i may put an order in for some "ball-girls." when it happens, ten bucks says pat burrell knocks on my door...

bernie williams isn't a bad option for RF. he only made 1.5 mill. he hit .281-12 in 420 AB's, which is more than we got from abreu last year. he may have the worst arm in baseball though...

we don't need rod barajas...

i vote for a joe table comeback...

corey

GM-Carson said...

Actually- Jose Mesa supposedly just signed with the Tigers...there goes the franchise!

Bernie is a good idea, but his arm is shot. We're not looking at him for top-notch defense though...he can still cover ground though.

Corey, when you get the bar and pole set-up, I'm so there!

~Carson

Bob D said...

1 vote for Krispy Kreme.

Maybe Pat the Bat will take up donut eating for a hobby.

Huff is a decent pickup even though he maybe expensive. He can play OF/3B/1B. Williams or Lofton also decent. Leiber may bring that bat in for the OF in a trade.

We still have to go thru the non-tender phase where players are let go. We picked up Franklin lastyear in this. Maybe we can strike gold twice LOL.

GM-Carson said...

"he can still cover ground though" - no, not really. those knees of his are shot...

you can over, but you have to promise to STAY OFF THE POLE !!!

GM-Carson said...

Dude, you know I want to dance on that pole!

1 vote Dunkin Donuts here. Maybe this should be the next poll.

We could sign Ryan Franklin again just for poops and chuckles. And that's the day I become a Royals fan...go Gil Meche!

~Carson

furiousBall said...

I'm a Krispy Kreme guy too. Living in Atlanta for 12 years did that to me. But luckily I didn't get any Biff Pocoroba on me.

BenJah said...

they should sign both fick and huff for their versatility and their bats. there are several bullpen options that would be acceptable...pick any 2-3.

and would it really be so bad if we kept all 6 starters?? at least two of these guys is likely to suck at one point or another, or even (gasp) get hurt. why not keep them all??

furiousBall said...

Fick was one of the major players in that big Tigers-White Sox brawl a few years ago. I remember him yelling at some outfield fans and getting beers dumped on him. Juan Samuel was in that too. I also remember Frank Thomas, the big sissy he is, standing around trying to look like he was sticking up for his teammates. Note, Frank Thomas will only be called a sissy when there is no chance of Frank Thomas reading this, otherwise, I'm just kidding.

GM-Carson said...

Lucky for us and UNlucky for your Furiousball- the Big Hurt Frank Thomas is a reader of this blog and is tracking down your IP address right now so he can beat you into a bloody pulp.

Benjah- although I understand your reasoning of keeping all 6 starters, I lean heavily on trading the excess (Lieber) for things we need such as relief pitching.

~Carson

furiousBall said...

oh wait, THAT Frank Thomas, no no, I was talking about this one...

http://disney.go.com/disneyatoz/familymuseum/exhibits/familyfriends/frankthomas/index.html

I believe he stayed in the dugout the entire time, and claims he wasn't even on the team or a baseball player from what I hear.

furiousBall said...

link didn't work...

THIS Frank Thomas.

GM-Carson said...

Yet another Rowand rumor- to the Cubs for possibly an outfielder and relief pitcher. I'd take Howry and a prospect.

~Carson

BenJah said...

and carson, i see why you call lieber 'excess' but we're not the only one's who know he sucks. we cant get our expectations up to high for the return he would bring in a trade. maybe he'll have more value in early june than he does right now.

BenJah said...

i just have to say again how much i want aubrey huff on this team! he can play 3rd pretty well, and he can play RF, sort of, plus he can spell howard at 1st (as can helms). his bat and versatility would really really help. to hell with "left-hand-heavy" -- get the good player at a decent price.

and he can play LF if burrell pusses out and/or is traded for actual pitching help.

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- the only thing about signing Huff is that they shouldn't have signed Helms. I agree Huff would help, but he'll likely get 3 years at about 24-27 million.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

This is how bad the Pirates suck- they are probably signing Japan defectee Masumi Kuwata for their rotation. Japanese pitcher, sounds good right? Wax on, wax off...hell no! He's 38 and hasn't had an ERA below 5.93 since 2002...oh that's surely ace material!

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

that pic of the phillies' ball girls tells me that kevin mench has to be coming here....because that chick on the left must be his sister. what size hat fits on that freaking gigantic mellon she has sitting on her shoulders? if stephen hawking could move his arms, he could use her five-head as a mobile chalkboard. she a cute little thing, but dammit, she looks like a hot-air balloon in phillies jersey.

okay, back to baseball...

corey

GM-Carson said...

corey- does "low life" still have a myspace? i couldn't find it. i want our version of "funky cold medina".

GM-Carson said...

Some excerpts from Buster Olney's blog today about some of the "For Hire" players I've discussed-

1. Darren Oliver, reliever
Can do a lot of things, and he pitched well against lefties last season, holding them to a .208 average.

2. Aubrey Huff, 1B-3B-OF
He can play third or first adequately, can give you some games in the outfield (although you probably wouldn't want to depend on him out there for a long period of time) and he's got pop - he hit 21 homers and drove in 66 runs in 454 at-bats last season. Plus, in a market now saturated by older guys, Huff doesn't turn 30 until later this month. He'll draw his share of walks, but isn't a big strikeout guy, either, and he's had a couple of 100-RBI seasons in his career.

~Carson

goDuke said...

I lean towards Dunkin as well... I'd even go bakery are better then Dunkin (of course because they are bigger and usually yummier)... some misguided people (like my wife) are inclined to go with Krispy Kremes... but theres just something wrong with them

GM-Carson said...

Seems like I make mention of a free agent on here and all of a sudden he's gobbled up and devoured by other GM's. Darren Oliver is supposedly being inked to a 1 year 3.5 mil deal with the Angels. This makes no sense to me, really none what-so-ever.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

That sausage beater Randal Simon is a non-roster spring training invitee for the Phils. Even if he doesn't make the squad, I think he's the perfect guy to have in Triple A in case a bench player goes down and you need someone to pinch-hit. He's got a great sense of humor too.

~Carson

Los said...

What, no Lonnie Smith???

I gotta say, Gillick did a good job getting Garcia, so I'm hopeful.

Bob D said...

I might be misguided about donuts but we don't have many Krispy Kremes over here on the Jersey Shore. But they do melt in your mouth and they are good. I guess I should ask Lieber of his preference on donuts.

Braves will likely nontender Giles and Reitsma. There will be more to follow so we may pick up a decent non tendered player to fill in somewhere.

BloodStripes said...

Isn't it odd that all those ballgirls have the exact same hairstyles. Long and straight. Not a curl or wave in sight. Must have been a pre-requisite.

BloodStripes said...

Check the Burrell story on Phillies.com. It has some great quotes. Like - "Much has been written and said over the years about Burrell's extracurricular activities" and Dallas Green - "Pat's a good-looking guy, is single and has a lot of money,"

Oooo yeah! Pat and the chicks are lovin' it.

goDuke said...

I'm telling ya Burrell starts out every year on fire, right up until the time that the girls get out of college and then its all down hill. The warmer the weather gets, the less the girls wear, the worse Pat gets. The double edged sword of summer... it gives everyone something to look at, but it also drags our boy Pat the Bat down into the gutter.

GM-Carson said...

Pat-the-Bat is a slut-bag, but he's our slut-bag.

I can't believe the Braves would non-tender Giles...Reitsma I understand.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

More of "All my ex's live in Texas" for the Phils. Kenny Lofton and Marlon Byrd are now Rangers. Seriously, the Rangers are the American League Phillies...it's just eerie now.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Can you believe some ass-licks think Gavin Floyd is a "late-bloomer" along the lines of Chris Carpentar? These people must be smoking the good stuff...pass it to the left!

~Carson

Bob D said...

I feel that Floyd has value. However for the right trade I would send him away. I feel he was more likely valuable as a reliver as it seemed that he could go thru the lineup once before trouble started. Gonzalez was another prospect who was hard to trade.

Fortunately for the Phils they were well stocked with arms, the closest to the majors is JA Happ LHP and Sergovia RHP. Both of these guys made it possible for this trade. We may see them before the end of the year in Philly. They also have a larger number of arms who are probably another or more away, some with even more potential than these guys. (Carrasco, Malone, Outman, Drabek, and so forth)
I feel this trade was worth it.

GM-Carson said...

All I know is Floyd absolutely sucked in Philly and has been pretty damn bad in Scranton the past 2 seasons as well...I was more than ready to give up on him.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

If Ben Broussard and Toby Hall are non-tendered, I could the Phils having interest in them.

BloodStripes said...

Great run-down of a Pat Burrell summer Goduke.