Saturday, December 16, 2006

Best Arrest

This was the toughest category yet, there was much debate...but only one winner.

Runners-up:
1) Brett Myers for his wife-slapping beatdown of that scrumptious little morsel, Kim Myers. This arrest was great for the debate around the Phlogosphere. It allowed self-righteous losers who are completely out of touch with reality the opportunity to perch themselves firmly atop their proverbial soap-boxes and shout nonsense like:

- Myers should be suspended for the season, and then released outright from the team.

- trade him to KC. I don't care what [they] get back.

- cutting him (or trading him for nothing) would not be foolish.

- It isn't just the moral thing to do to suspend him/release him, it's the economic thing. The Phillies fans will not support Myers

We here at WSBGM's took this stance:

- We here at WSBGM's are taking a hard stand and will be opposing domestic violence. That's right. We are NOT for it.

- ...Incidents like this, right or wrong, tend to get "forgotten." There are guys who have been charged with the same thing, but it takes Google to remember who they were. And we here at WSBGM's aren't the type to call for a guys head now, then love him later. When we call for the axe, we mean it (hear that Bell & Lieberthal?) So I think it is prudent to play the waiting game on this one.

- Of course, maybe it wasn't even his wife. Maybe it was just Joe Kerrigan in a wig!?

The aforementioned lunatics ended up completely wrong and looking like, well, pompous, self-righteous, know-nothing blowhards. We ended up looking, well, very similar, except less self-righteous, which is pretty much what we were shooting for.

2) Ugueth Urbina for his South American legal troubles- so maybe he wasn't technically still on the Phillies roster, but they were the last team he played for before he decided to attempt to turn some farm workers into Roman candles. Machetes, gasoline, handgun disputes, Venezuelan prison - it has all the makings of a classic.


Winner:
Derek Bell and his Operation Crack-pipe. Former Bucco money-stealer....errr....right fielder....err....operation shutdown-er was arrested for crack possession. I guess he thought crack cocaine addiction would land him an ESPN job, but since he didn't play for the Dallas Cowboys, it didn't quite work out that way. Given Bell's hitting ability, especially late in his career, I'm shocked that he had the hand-eye coordination to hold the pipe and work the lighter at the same time. As Rick James said, "Cocaine...it's a helluva drug." Damn straight, Rick.

The message: Don't do drugs kids...unless you absolutely have to...or you're bored.

Corey

11 comments:

GM-Carson said...

What Brett Myers did was wrong no doubt, but a lot of people went overboard when suggesting to rid the Phils of him. We need him. And last time I checked, fans were cheering for him in September...so looks like those dip-shits who were calling for his dismissal are just that...dip-shits.

~Carson

Bob D said...

It wasn't Brett's fault - it was Kim who repeatedly threw herself in the way of his fists. I do like the other senario with Joe Kerigan in a wig - probably trying to get him to be more aggresive as a pitcher.
At least I'm not like the other people (dip-shits) I'm just a 'dip'.

GM-Carson said...

Myers is a hot-head and should go to some counseling sessions with his wife and some anger management classes too, but people were going being ridiculous with their demands he be traded/released/suspended for the year. Hell O.J. Simpson is still free for crying out loud.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Bucco Rumor- 3 way deal with Yanks and Braves. Yanks get Mike Gonzalez, Braves get Melky Cabrera, and Pirates get Adam LaRoche. LaRoche would supply left-handed pop behind Jason Bay. I'd like to see the Buccos pick up a prospect in the deal to, either from the Yanks or Braves.

~Carson

BloodStripes said...

All Myers needs are a few one on one sessions with Rich Dubee. Lay back and groove. Mellow right out.

BloodStripes said...

A Citizen's blog is predicting a Phucco trade next week. Leiber for Mike Gonzalez.

BenJah said...

if i'm the braves or pirates, i do the 3 way deal in a heartbeat and run!

i don't do drugs! just weed.

so carson, what about my blogging would tell you i'm a jew?? aside from the fact that on christmas i work, go to the movies, and eat chinese food for dinner hahha

das411 said...

The Yankees are getting ripped off big time in that deal. Who would've taken just the Melkman back for Abreu this summer?

...and DkBell is technically a free agent right? And don't the Phils still need a RFer...?

BloodStripes said...

Benjah, ya crack up! LOL

BloodStripes said...

Man, those three photos of our Phillie crims do not inspire much baseball. Bloody hell!


Derek Bell is bent! Have a go at his melon! His state of mind could be straight as a gun barrell but you would still know he was bent. That is one bent head.

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- I actually had no idea you were Jewish bro. All I know is you like to spliff one up every now and then, and enjoy a sense of humor. Jewish is simply heritage, it was instilled in you, doesn't define you. That's why I poke fun at everything on this blog, because the world and its differences are funny, and making jokes about it isn't demeaning, rather it's enlightening.

~Carson