Saturday, December 23, 2006

12 Days of Baseball

I feel it is my duty to provide an alternate viewpoint to Carson on many issues...Abreu, what bullpen arm to sign, etc....and now, Christmas. Carson loves Christmas like fat kid loves cake. Me, I hate it. I hate Christmas carols. I hate people who can't sing, who sing Christmas carols. Seriously, shut up. No one wants to hear Little Drummer Boy in M-flat. I hate that fat, bearded bastard in a red suit who sits in the mall and has a line of children waiting to sit on his lap and whisper in his ear. Am I the only guy who thinks that is a little weird? I mean, what sort of fellow signs up for that gig? If
Michael Jackson did that, people would have a fit. And to be real, he's given more presents to kids than that fake-ass punk Santa. Ask Macaulay Culkin. There better be a pretty good interview and screening process, that's all I'm saying. I hate figgy puddy, too. I've never eaten figgy puddy, but I'm pretty sure it would taste like crap. I hate those giant inflatable snow-globes that poor people run to Wal-mart, throw down their welfare check for a dozen or so, then stick them in front of their trailer and illuminate them with flood lights. I hate the commercialization of Christmas. It's not about celebrating the birth of ol' JC. No, it's about making cash money. How much crap can you sell? What crap will people buy? A singing wall-mounted fish, people buy it. An electric ice-scraper, people buy it. A chia pet, people buy it. And I also hate having to roll my rig up to Long Island for Christmas. Not because that is where the in-laws live, but because I have to walk around Yankee-fan and Met-fan for a few days. Ugh.

I'm don't want to single out Christmas either. I hate Hannukah. I hate Kwanza. I hate Festivus.

However, I promised Carson I would do a Christmas post. So here it is....The 12 Days of Baseball.


On the 12th day of baseball, the Phillies gave to me...
Twelve games behind the Mets
Eleven Gavin Floyd starts
Ten Manuel blunders
Nine inning of Chris Wheeler
Eight Abreu homers
Seven game losing steak
Six Wild Card failures
Five Fu-Manchus
Four useless middle infielders
Three Burrell hangovers
Two losses to Ian Snell
And a dollar for a hot dog!

Enjoy whatever holiday you are currently celebrating. Bah-humbug.

Scrooge McGrinch (Corey)

26 comments:

GM-Carson said...

That might be the bested crafted post ever on WSBGM's. Althought Corey's viewpoints obviously differ from mine come this time of year, I loved reading it. It literally made me laugh out loud. The electric icescraper has to be the single-most dumbass gift ever!

Happy Holidays to all!

Great 12 Days of Christmas remix.

~Carson

Los said...

Wow - I just hope Santa doesn't land on you with his sled this year.

Do you also kick puppies?

Maria said...

Christmas has obviously become commercialized. But be thankful Santa brought us an MVP. The only good thing about Christmas is getting time off and getting some gifts. What f'ing sucks is having to spend $300.00 having to buy everyone gifts.

You're a grinch Corey. & I love seeing people overdo there houses by making them look cheap and ugly. The more lights the merrier.

kateykakes said...

Merry Christmas! May it be a joyous and blessed one.

BenJah said...

hear hear corey......fuck the holidays, every one!

BloodStripes said...

Thanks for the alternate view Corey. Sometimes I'm a bit of a grinch at chrissy too. The thing that shits me is, I work hard all year to pay for presents for my kids and come christmas some bloody fat bastard in a red suit comes along and takes all the credit for it. Low arse prick never did a thing. Fuck him!

Also, the mountains of crap the kids get from so many different people. We breed commercialism young in our world. Whatever side of the globe your from. No wonder its crashing and burning.

Its 7am here chrissy morning. The family is asleep and I'm whinging to you guys. Just missed santa. Lucky for him 'cause I just wanna bash him. Ha!

Merry christmas everyone. Spread the love.

BenJah said...

just to clarify, my contempt for xmas is not b/c i'm jewish....i hate our holiday more.

although, i believe i understand the xmas spirit as well as anyone. i've worked 8 of the last 9 xmas' for the purpose of letting someone else (someone who gives a shit about the holidays) take off and spend it with their families.

i certainly hope everyone has a great holiday....but for me, they blow.......how many days until spring training??

BloodStripes said...

I hear ya Benjah. About 100 days to go? Can't be many more. Bring it on.

You guys get to check some sport on chrissy day. I see the Eagles are playing Dallas. I hope they can win.

Maria said...

Bloodstripes that would be the best Christmas gift I could get.

BloodStripes said...

Cool Maria. Its a big game on a big day. Go Eagles! I'm gonna follow it via gameday tuesday my time.

I just gave the kids a glove and t-ball set for christmas. They know the game b/c I coach so they love it. They are only almost 2 and 4 years of age but they are good at it, so I'm stoked. Santa wasn't gonna pinch that gift from me. Its Dads kudos for that one. Ha!

Anyway, its been a good chrissy Downunder, hope its the same for all you GM's.

GM-Carson said...

Bright and early Christmas morning here in Central PA. Actually, it's so damn early, that it's not actually bright out at all...rather dark. Anyway, I got a kick outta reading people's different viewpoints on Christmas...good stuff. I agree Maria that buying the presents usually sucks, but I bought a special one for my wife that I can't wait to give him this morning. As far as Santa receiving all the credit for the gifts and giving the parents the shaft...I never thought about it that way until now, and that does suck!

Merry Christmas!

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

By the way, about 79 days until spring training fellas.

Bob D said...

Merry Christmas all! (Belated to those down under)


Los, excellent response to the Grinch. Hopefully little MaryLou Who will pull the strings of compassion and make his heart grow 3 times larger.

GM-Carson said...

Speaking of the Grinch- that's one of the best Christmas movies. I also enjoy National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and the classic The Christmas Story..."you'll shoot your eye out!"

~Carson

BenJah said...

carson, did i read that right?? you bought a special gift for your wife that you can't wait to give HIM????? not that there's anything wrong with that.

BloodStripes said...

Always thought there was a bit of gay pride on this site.

GM-Carson said...

Holy shit, I can't believe I typed that! Karma is a bitch...I've been making fun of David H-Mo Bell way too much. I gave it to HER...really I'm married to a woman I swear. Funny screw up though.

~Carson

BenJah said...

this site is so great b/c it runs like a bad joke...


....an aussie, a jew and a fairy walk into a phillies game...

BloodStripes said...

hahaha! awesome Benjah.

BloodStripes said...

........and the Phillies win!!!!.....after big Ryano hits a walk off homer, dedicating it to the Aussie, the Jew and the Fairy. Wooooo!!

There's your present Maria.

EAGLES!!! Woo hooo! What a ripper of a win and what a great month they have had. Playoffs man! Go!!!

Maria said...

I'm so happy right now (best Christmas gift ever} and Carson...Karma must be a bitch, but that was too funny.

BloodStripes said...

Shit yeah! LOL. That was typo of the year! Nice way to top it off DQ. Haha. Priceless mate.

GM-Carson said...

I told my wife she was miscast as a "him" on the blog due to my typo...she was less than thrilled. I'm glad we can all joke around like that though on here, good atmosphere.

~Carson

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