Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tag Team Tuesdays: 1993 Tribute

Beards, bellies, and biceps sounds more like professional wrestling than major league baseball, but in '93 both worlds collided. The '93 Phillies were a bunch of fun loving, curse like a sailor, drink like a fish, and play with your hair on fire style team. Not only did the city of Philly fall in love with them, they managed to capture the adoration of the nation. The squad went 97-65 on the way to the World Series, I still remember it like it were yesterday. To pay tribute to this rowdy bunch I have decided to stray from my typical Tag Team Tuesday format so that I could include more than two players. I've decided to go with what the '93 Phils embodied...a Royal Rumble. *All the following wrestlers were participants in the WWF 1993 Royal Rumble...thanks Wikipedia.

Rotation: Curt Schilling was the co-ace of the staff, and because he was/is a pompous ass he will be "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair for this Royal Rumble. Despite Schill being a butt nugget, he did win 16 games to the tune of a 4.02 ERA, this was his coming out season, as he's pitched brilliantly since then. Danny Jackson was a crazy dude that used to like to pump up the team by ripping off his shirt and flexing Hulk Hogan style, Hogan wasn't in the WWF in '93. Therefore Jackson will be Ted Dibiase "The Million Dollar Man" because he was so "money" with his 12 wins and 3.77 ERA. The age-less wonder Terry Mulholland was actually relatively young in '93, as he was still holding on as a lefty specialist this past season in his 40's. Terry also had 12 wins with a rotation low 3.25 ERA, he's our Repo Man for this this match. Tommy Greene was the other co-ace of the staff and he is being dubbed Mr. Perfect because of his no-hitter. He turned in a solid season with 16 wins and a 3.42 ERA. The final member of the rotation was "Big" Ben Rivera and he will be represented by Tito Santana because of alike Hispanic heritage. Ben may have won 13 games, but that's more a testament of the offense than his ugly 5.02 ERA.

Bullpen: Mitch Williams delivered that ill-fated World Series Game 6 9th inning Joe Carter homerun ball, and therefore is deemed the Undertaker...and you thought it was because of their striking resemblance. We may have never reached the playoffs without good ol' Mitchie-pooh though, as he saved 43 games with 3.34 ERA. Current member of the Phils broadcast booth, Larry Andersen, was winding down his career but was most useful in '93 while pitching in 64 games with a 2.92 ERA, he's our Bob Backlund. Also appearing in this bout were Roger Mason (Irwin R. Schyster "I.R.S.") with 34 games pitched and a 4.89 ERA and David West (Max Moon) with 76 games logged and 2.92 ERA.

Catcher: Darren Daulton is going to be Owen Hart for two reasons. First reason, ladies loved Dutch (my mom included) as he was a "Hart throb". Second reason, Owen died in '99, and Daulton claims we'll all be dead by 2012. So now that we've established that Dutch is a nut-job, we can remember that he produced terrifically in '93 with 90 runs, 24 homers, 105 rbi, and an .874 OPS.

Infield: John Kruk was a fan favorite from the '93 team and he is depicted by the '93 Royal Rumble champion Yokozuna because of their distinct slim figures. Kruks stats weren't slim though, as he batted .316 with 100 runs, 14 homers, 85 rbi, and a .905 OPS. Also in the infield was 2nd baseman Mickey Morandini who didn't add much with that bat, but played wonderful defense at a .990 fielding % clip, he is our Terry Taylor of the match. Boy-wonder, Kevin Stocker was a god-send in '93 as he came in to man short-stop and batted .324 with an .826 OPS, and will play the part of Rick "the Model" Martel. Splitting time between 2nd and SS was Mariano Duncan, our Papa Shango, while producing 68 runs, 11 homers, 73 rbi and a .282 average. In the hot corner was the hot-headed psychopath Dave Hollins being referred to as Dr. Demento. Hollins did give the Phils some offensive punch from 3rd with 104 runs, 18 homers, 93 rbi, and an .814 OPS.

Outfield: Lenny Dykastra was the leader of the outfield, the offensive sparkplug, the most roided, and biggest dipper on the team. The Dude roamed center field for the Phils and scored 143 runs while hitting 19 homers, knocking in 66, batting .305 with a .902 OPS, and stealing 37 bases. Lenny is filling the role of the Macho Man Randy Savage..."snap into a Slim Jim!". The rest of the outfield spots were platoons, ones that Jim Fregosi managed perfectly. Left field was manned by current Phils hitting coach, Milt Thompson and Pete Incaviglia. Thompson played superb defense and is Typhoon, half of the tag team Natural Disasters. The other half of the tag team was Earthquake which is Inky who hit 24 homers along with 89 rbi with an .848 OPS. Right field was patrolled by my favorite Wes Chamberlain and Jim Eisenreich. Chamberlain hit 12 homers with an .823 OPS and is taking the place of Virgil for the rumble (both were huge muscular black dudes). Eisenreich had a little syndrome known as Tourette's and will be fondly portrayed by the Berzerker. Besides uncontrollably swearing, Jim could hit too, .318 average with an .808 OPS.

Others: The skipper of the '93 Phils was Jim Fregosi and he will be represented by Jerry "the King" Lawler. The Phils also had two important bench players that season in the form of Kim Batiste (Fatu) and Ricky Jordan (Samu). All in all this was a great group of guys that looked more like softball players that went bar hopping after games than an NL pennant winning team, but they were. I will always love the 1993 Philadelphia Phillies.

~Carson

42 comments:

furiousBall said...

Jim Eisenreich was great, I always liked the gigantic SNORT he would do as he stepped into the batters box, I think it had something to do with his Tourette's Syndrome.

skeeter said...

Brilliant post
Anytime the wwf and phillies can be brought together with such ease i am happy.

also i heard kevin federline is in the wwE now and that aaron rowand was at the pay per view event here in philly a couple weeks ago.

GM-Carson said...

k-fed should be used to getting beat up, afterall britney bitch-slapped his ass.

looks like the O's are taking all the relievers. first walker, then baez, now williamson and bradford. i really wanted bradford.

maybe gillick can land us manny...ha, keep dreaming.

~carson

GM-Carson said...

apparently, and unfortunately Mike Piazza is still on the Phils radar. I hope the a's hurry up and sign him.

Suppan is being approached by the Buccos. not sure why they want him as they have very solid young inexpensive pitching.

~Carson

Bob D said...

That had to be the best OF the Phils ever had. It shows platoons can work very well.

Bad news on the relievers there. We may need to trade for some now. As I see it they need at least 2 and really could use 3 quality arms.

GM-Carson said...

there's really only 2 decent relievers left out there, and i've been guessing all along we get Weathers. Borowski wants to be a closer and wants closer $$$.

the '93 outfield was awesome. platoons can work, but you need a manager smart enough to handle the job...Manuel isn't smart enough to tie his own shoes. heard he asked for velcro cleats...dumbass!

~Carson

Maria said...

I was 3 in 1993. I guess I'll have to wait for the 2013 Phillies to go to the WS.

GM-Carson said...

maria- the phils are going to the world series next year in 2007...well at least they haven't lost a game yet.

by the way, i got my long-arm cast off and now am sporting a red short-arm cast for the holiday season and the phils. 4 more weeks of this damn thing.

~carson

michael said...

i would think the short arm cast is better than the long arm..atleast you have a little bit more mobility...

maria- 2013? you are crazy! i'd say within the next 3 years.

BloodStripes said...

Top post for an all-time Phillies team. It stirs excitement everytime I read about that great year.

Hopefully by 2013 Maria we will be paying tribute to our 2007, 2008 boys.

Go Phillies!

BloodStripes said...

Much better with a short cast DQ. Hope its mending well.

BloodStripes said...

After reading the Kevin Roberts piece on protecting Howard I am thinking Burrell is the man. Especially now he is all of a sudden cheap.

I withdraw all remarks I may have posted about Burrell being crap. Lets just keep him. Ha!

das411 said...

Not to worry fellas (and Maria), we just trade them CONINE for Bradford at the deadline and all of our problems will be solved!!

BloodStripes said...

I live in Australia, so I just had a real buzz tonight when I met a couple of guys from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I was walking around a local fair with a Phillies shirt on and one said "cool shirt man" and I said "yeah, Phillies mate". Then I noticed he had an American accent and we got talking all about the Phillies. It was awesome to meet some homegrown Phillie Phanatics way over here on the other side of the world and talk Phillies stuff face to face. I was even able to update them on the Eaton news and the Iron Pigs. Top stuff! Good omen.

GM-Carson said...

Bloodstripes- meeting up with some PA boys...nice! Lancaster is about an hour south of where I live.

The short-arm cast is better for mobility, but it still sucks.

Wonder what move Gillick is planning next?

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Just read from a couple different sources that Mike Piazza is deciding between the Phils and A's. Piazza's bat is still plus for a catcher, but his defense is horrendous. He would not make us better in my opinion, we should stay clear of him.

~Carson

Bob D said...

Agreed on Piazza. Coste/Ruiz have plus arms, defense, and game calling. Everything that Piazza lacks. Piazza has a plus bat with power. The drop off between him and Coste/Ruiz is very little other than power. Ruiz also has the most speed for a major league catcher.

GM-Carson said...

I think Ruiz is capable of being a decent MLB catcher both defensively and offensively based on minor league production/track record. Coste and him will be cheap and serve us well. No need to spend millions on Piazza and his horrible arm.

~Carson

Los said...

Was the King in the WWE in '93? I think it may have been King Tonga at the time. So there was no HBK on this Phillies team, and no Hitman?

michael said...

hitman wrestled razor ramon and hbk wrestled marty janetty (rockers against each other) jerry the king was in the 93 royal rumble...this post was in reference to the guys who were in the actual royal rumble match not the other matches...just so you know i looked all of this up even though i actually saw this royal rumble i'm not that big of a nerd to remember it...sadly i dont think there were any fat black guys on the 93 squad so the role of papa shango could not be filled.

GM-Carson said...

Los- Brett the Hitman Heart was part of the title bout against Razor Ramon, not in the actual 30 man Rumble. Jerry the King Lawler was indeed in the WWF in '93, and the Heartbreak Kid wasn't a member of the rumble either, therefore the omission. Check it out at Wikipedia.com by typing in 1993 Royal Rumble, it gives you all the details.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Just read Michael's comment and he practically said the same thing as I just did...oops. Personally I didn't remember all the deatails either although I do remember watching it on pay-per-view...what a rip off! So don't feel bad Los about not remembering everything exactly, I didn't either. Your knowledge of professional wrestling is solid my friend.

~Carson

michael said...

haha its cool..yeah it was pretty lame. yokozuna won the rumble and bob backlund was in almost the entire time, i remember he used to do the 'cross face chicken wing' move to everyone and then he'd like freak the fuck out. awful, then he ran for "president"..

GM-Carson said...

didn't bob backlund used to pat himself on the back too?

GM-Carson said...

Rumors- Burrell to the Rangers (of course) for a setup man and Brad Wilkerson...NO freaking thanks you!

Tomo Ohka on Buccos radar.

Lieberthal is thinking Dodger-blue too.

~Carson

michael said...

haha yes he did..he looked like a retarded child doing it as well.


ugh..hope that trade is just a rumor..yuk. i heard about lieby going to la. hope it works out.

Fat Ted said...

woooo '93 Phillies, they always brighten my day. i still hate joe carter. i love the fact that dutch is crazy unless of course he is right about us all dying in 2012.

Los said...

The only big fat black guy that may have been around at the time (that I remember) is Mr. Hughes, but he may have been in WCW at the time (ugh, I know far too much about pro wrestling history for my own good).

michael said...

papa shango was in the 93 royal rumble..i meant who on the 93 phillies could be that because i dont think there were any fat black guys on the team.

GM-Carson said...

Los- I appreciate your pro wrestling knowledge.

Burrell for Wilkerson trade is horrible, it better not go down. I can't imagine Gillick being that stupid.

I made a Joe Carter voodoo doll, wonder if his "area" has recovered yet?

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

"cool" papa shango brotha...mariano duncan maybe. not because he was fat, just because.

fans said...

Heard an interview on WIP with Phils mgmt who said they're looking at Chase as protection for Howard. And they might look at Burrell as protection. Didn't they try that last year, and didn't he strike out each time they walked Ryan to get to Pat? Doesn't mgmt remember any of this??

GM-Carson said...

c'mon we all know pat burrell is going to bat .285 with 35 homers and 115 rbi next season, he's making 13 mil afterall.

~carson

BENTZ said...

Per ESPN.com Phillies apparently had Joe Borowski signed to a contract..and backed away from a multi-year deal when major red flags went up during his physical. They may try and sign him to a one-year deal, but it looks like another reliever has gotten away, though if injury prone, probably for the best.

BENTZ said...

Per another report, Albert Pujols has come out and ripped the MVP voting process saying in effect that MVPs should not come from non-playoff teams.

Personally, I think that is extremely low and classless of him to do. Just makes it another reason to hate the Cardinals (my least favorite team) even more!!

Not to mention the Phillies won 2 more games than St. Louis and the Mets were a hell of a lot better in the regular season than any crappy team in the NL Central (sigh, yes, even the Buccos...we can dream of the PA NLCS one day)...

BloodStripes said...

All respect for Pooholes is now gone.

Dickhead!!!

GM-Carson said...

that's an ass move by pujols. he had a great season, but howard was more valuable and as you said the phils won more games than the cards...screw them!

borowski has health concerns...i knew that. he's only had 1 good season out of the last 3 or so, and that happened to be last year. he's risky.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

grand news- Kevin Jordan has rejoined the Phils organization as a coach for Single A Lakewood...our prospects will learn a ton from him.

*please note sarcasm

~Carson

goDuke said...

At least the Phils were smart enough to back away from a multiyear deal with Borowski... Ed Wade woulda have signed him for 5 years and then he would have gotten hurt and been done-ski

GM-Carson said...

trot nixon's name is being floated around again, he would be a good addition to the team in my opinion.

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Biby Cletus - Blog

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