Sunday, November 19, 2006

Slide Show

With nothing much new brewing on the Phillies and Pirates rumor front, I decided to go searching for some thought-provoking Phils and Buccos images. Sure we could speculate what Gillick will land in a deal involving Rowand, or what piece of rift-raft Littlefield signs next, but that's been played out. Therefore, I hope this slide show of pictures leaves you feeling all warm, tingly, and excited...much like your mother does for me.

Speaking of your mom, wouldn't she look good in this? But seriously, I think I found the key to the Pittsburgh Pirates resurrection...or erection in this case. Imagine this fine deckhand wench being the Buccos mascot instead of the fruity parrot. She would surely put more butts in the seats, creating more revenue so Littlefield can spend it on more washed-up has-beens like Derek Bell, Pat Mears, and Jeromy Burnitz...I smell playoffs!




Is that a picture of your dad when you took him to the CIT to celebrate Fathers Day? As Phillies fans I guess we can appear to be a slovenly bunch, but dammit we're passionate! As Pirates fans, well as the picture suggests, we're simply irate. Our dedication to the teams will pay off soon...I'm thinking a STATE showdown for the NL pennant in 2007.

Thanks for sending this photo of your sisters, they'll make outstanding ballgirls. I'm sure they're accustomed to handling balls, and if not I'm available for sessions. Ok, now I've nearly insulted your entire family...sorry about that. On a serious note, the Phillies ballgirls do a bang-up job! Just think of all the druken fans that would be spilling their $6 beers jumping outta the way if it weren't for them.

As if the Phillies didn't cause enough "heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, nausea, and diarrhea" by their play, they had to go market their own hot sauce. I like the new Pepto Bismol commercials, but wouldn't it be funnier if their slogan was "squash the squirts".

I guess the Phillies really lost a fan niche when David Bell was traded, as this special day was created for all of his steadfast fans. By the way, it's time he come clean to the public and tell everyone that he's of the same breed as N'Sync's Lance Bass and Doogie Howser M.D.'s Neil Patrick Harris.

Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you. Every day when I make my way to the tubby. I find a little fella who's cute and yellow and chubby. Rubber ducky, you're so fine. And I'm lucky that you're mine. Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you. Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of you.

~Carson

8 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I know today's post was absolutely pointless, but that's the beauty of it. I had fun creating it, so hopefully you had fun reading it.

~Carson

goDuke said...

THe pirates fan was nice.

GM-Carson said...

she's a beauty alright!

GM-Carson said...

8 years 135 million is soriano's new asking price...no thanks!

rumor has it that rangers are about to get garland from white sox...dammit gillick deal rowand to them!

~carson

GM-Carson said...

check that last comment. espn is reporting that the cubbies just locked up soriano for 8 years in the neighborhood of 136 million. the got a-ram too...those bastards!
is carlos lee now our new target or are we going to stick with burrell, vic, rowand? can't deal burrell or rowand now. maybe we'll sign preston wilson...that's the stupid shit the phils always do.

i'm starting to get worried now sbout this offseason because the cubs are going nuts on the market. they might even sign me away.

~carson

BloodStripes said...

Ship ahoy!

The cubs are going mental. No doubt all the stars will get injured and they will suck again.

Lets just get our pitching sorted and let the offense continue the way it did last year.

GM-Carson said...

bloodstripes- i hope the offense can continue to score a ton of runs, because we're going to need them.

BloodStripes said...

The Phils can do it again.