"All my ex's live in Texas", by George Strait has got to be the lil' diddy played in the waiting room of the Phillies front office. It's not because the owners are country fans either, rather it's subliminal messaging to the players future destination, more pointedly the pitchers. Let's do a quick rundown of former Phillies that have been exiled to the Lonestar State.
1. Kevin Millwood- came to Philly with playoff aspirations. Left Philly with a no-hitter, started the final game at the Vet, but the thing I most remember are his half-ass efforts at bunts and the fact that we still haven't reached postseason. He just never lived up to the expectations he rode into town on...have fun with the Rangers.
2. Vicente Padilla- a WSBGM's favorite because of his drinking exploitations and the fact that he wins the annual award for ugliest player in MLB. I have the notion that the Phils could have been in the playoffs had Gillick not traded away Vicente for nothing, but alas we'll never know. I for one would have preferred his antics over the sight of Madson/Floyd starting. The Padilla's Floatilla misses you!
3. "Swiss Family" Robinson Tejada- besides the ultra-cool nickname, he really had no value to the Phils, but he did help land us David "Dude I'm Getting A" Dellucci...you're classic nickname swap.
4. Adam Eaton- only really ever a Phillies prospect that was sent to the Padres for Andy Ashby, but I'd rather still have him in the system than Headcase Floyd.
The above 4 were all in the Rangers rotation at some point last season. I think it's all a conspiracy theory for George Bush's way of sticking it to Philadelphia.
Other pitchers that have lost their way in Texas at one time or another- Brandon Duckworth, Taylor Buckholz, and possibly in the future Jon Lieber and/or Randy Wolf.
"Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas Private Cowboy and you don't look much like a steer so that kinda narrows it down."
p.s. Doing things with your non-dominant hand sucks! Took me over an hour to do this post, so you better appreciate it.