Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Give Thanks

It's that time of year again where Americans take a break from our regular fast pace, cut-throat, greedy ways to show gratitude for what we have. We have baseball, and that's enough to keep this man going. The Pilgrims and Indians (feather not dot) sat down for an extravagant feast centuries ago to give thanks for the plentiful blessings that they experienced day in day out. We still have plenty to be thankful for, and today I will give a brief glimpse of the cornucopia of things that I'm appreciative of.

I am thankful for the best 3rd baseman of all-time, Michael Jack Schmidt. His defense was superb, his bat was explosive, and his hair was fantastic...love the white dude afro. I'm glad Schmidt was playing when I was growing up because he helped cement my love for the Phillies. He also was a key member of the '80 World Series champions and '83 NL pennant teams. I love a good old fashioned right-handed slugger...ya hear that Burrell?!

How can you not be absolutely ecstatic about the career of Ryan Howard thus far? '05 Rookie of the Year, '06 Homerun Derby champion, '06 NL MVP, and 58 bombs last season...those are the makings of a hall-of-fame career. I truly hope Howard can continue to this path to greatness along with Utley, Rollins, Myers, and Hamels and get the Phillies back into October baseball.

Larry Andersen is quite the fire cracker. You never know what he might say, but what he does add in the booth is comedy, and I am grateful for that. Because the only comedy coming from Chris Wheeler is the fact that I'm normally laughing at my or Corey's jokes about him. Larry helps keep the telecasts enjoyable, because Kalas just isn't the same since Whitey past. Also, Andersen was a member of the '83 and '93 NL pennant teams and despite pitching for many teams in his career, he is loyal to the Phils. That pic is a Larry Andersen mask that was a minor league give-away...I want one!

John Kruk...my hero! In fact I named my fantasy baseball team this past season in honor of him, One-Nut-Kruks. He was a foul mouthed, beer swilling, tubby, tell-it-like-it-is player that made the '93 Phils such a lovable squad. I am thankful for Kruk and that '93 team, because that's the only playoffs I remember in my lifetime. By the way I strongly recommend this book to anyone, it was the best baseball book I ever read and it kept me laughing the entire time.

I am overjoyed that Ed "Nutsack Face" Wade is no longer our GM. He was nothing more than a corporal crotchticular cowboy that did his best to ruin the organization. I'm still skeptical of Pat Gillick as GM, and still pissed off that they didn't offer the job to Corey and me. But at least we don't have to suffer through any more Greg Jefferies, David Bell, Curt Schilling, or Scott Rolen type deals...wait what about Nunez and Abreu?

Bring back the powder blue uniforms! Everyone keeps blaming the starting pitching, the bullpen, Manuel, Burrell, George Bush, North Korea, Borat, but the real problem is the jersey color. Seen wearing the spoken of powder blue uniform in this picture is Joe Morgan. Yep that same pompous, self-righteous ass-clown that does ESPN broadcasts. Morgan was a Phillie in '83 only, and I am thankful for the mute button on my television so that I don't have to sit and listen to 9 innings of his droning about how the game has changed and the players today don't execute perfectly like he used to...shut up Joe Morgan!

Happy Turkey Day to all. Unless you're a commi-bastard vegetarian then happy Tofu Day.

~Carson

19 comments:

Los said...

Loved the powder blue uniforms! They should also bring back Bake McBride's afro.

GM-Carson said...

afros, staches, and blue unis will save the phillies!

BenJah said...

i'm thankful to have a superhero at second base, in the form of chase "big nutz" utley.

GM-Carson said...

"big nutz"- is that we are now referring to utley as? and benjah how do you know about his nutz anyway? are you a tea bag fan?

~carson

BenJah said...

actually, i heard about it 2nd hand as david bell told me. but seriously, based on his play would you even doubt it?!

furiousBall said...

I'm thankful for Bake McBride's fro

GM-Carson said...

much thanks for the fro today...classic

Chris said...

Gotta also be thankful for #45 and his heart stopping performances on the mound that helped close out the only MLB World Championship the Phillies ever brought home.

GM-Carson said...

chris- right on brotha...much thanks to tug!

GM-Carson said...

i'm thankful, as always, for steve jeltz and his jheri curl...

corey

skeeter said...

I'm thankful for Darren "Dutch" Daulton for 2 reasons. One... he kept my mom interested in baseball in the 90's with his striking good looks. Two... he reminded us all that world is going to end (or something) in 2012. Gotta win that world series before then.

Also, I am thankful that the authors of this site made fun of vegetarians

GM-Carson said...

screw vegetarians...pussies! ha

i'm thankful my work day is almost over...hello thanksgiving break!

~carson

GM-Carson said...

carson is thankful somebody called him an "author"...

i'm thankful the phils aren't dumb enough to give sarge jr. 50 million like the orange county angels.


corey

GM-Carson said...

when a player like gary matthews jr. gets 5 years 50 million, they make the burrell and abreu deals look good. matthews has only ever had 1 good season in his career and he's 32...dumbass angels! this current free agent market is crazy. aaron rowand is going to be "cheap" when he re-ups for about 4 mil.

and i am thankful to be called an author.

~carson

Maria said...

I am thankful for our trio, as well as Harry still calling the games. (So long he has LA with him).

Maria said...

& I love the powder blue uniforms...they define the phillies. Why not just bring back the old school maroon uni's in general. They were much better than the ones today.

Bob D said...

I'm thankful for the Phanatic. The only one whos got a grasp on reality.

GM-Carson said...

anybody know why the phanatic is green?

he's green with envy over the fact that he's the best mascot but in a losing organization. he longs to be mr. met.

~carson

kateykakes said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours...