Sunday, November 12, 2006

Bust A Move

"A girl starts walkin', guys start gawkin'. Sits down next to you and starts talkin'. Says she wanna dance cus she likes the groove. So come on fatso and just bust a move. If you want it baby you've got it...Just bust a move!" Oh, I remember that jam from back in the day. Too bad Young M.C. became a one hit wonder and ended up being the "fatso", landing his robust ass on Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. Young worked his big-black-booty back into shape though, so maybe he can become Jon "Eater" Lieber's personal trainer. Anyway, the point of reliving that funky song was the message of "bust a move" which Gillick can officially start doing today because free agents are now truly free to speak to all organizations...liberation!

Good ol' Stand Pat, as some like to call him, is braced to let the bidding begin on Alfonso Soriano, with a rumored initial offer of 5 years 75 million. The Stand Pat moniker isn't going to suit Gillick well this offseason, because of the flurry of activity that promises to take place. Maybe we should dub him Galloping Gillick or Cool Cat Pat with the amount of moves he's bound to bust this winter. He has quite the to-do-list, with another starting pitcher, bullpen, third base, and sorting out the outfield. You know what to do G just bust a move!

Just don't bust a move like Ed "Scrotum Face" Wade and stick us with another David "Fart Knocker" Bell...once again, gotta meet my quota. Gillick please equip Coach Dumbass, I mean Manuel with the proper pieces so that he can't even screw up a playoff bid. I suggest scouring the free agent market for a butt-load of relief pitchers and bring them to camp on low base salaries with plenty of incentives for appearances. Plus sign one proven commodity like Bradford, Baez, Weathers, Borowski, or Spier that would be capable of closing while Flash takes his annual stay on the DL. Re-sign Wolf for the rotation, or sign Batista, or trade Rowand for one of the ChiSox spare starters (Garland, Vasquez, or Garcia). 3rd base and offensive speculation could be put to rest with the signing of A-Ram, but Helms or Aurilia are more realistic and are an upgrade over Nuni. The outfield would be awesome if we landed Soriano AND kept Burrell, then allowed Victorino to motor around centerfield vacuuming up all the balls that the other two couldn't get to.

While searching for images of "bust a move" I came across this little treasure. Those two dinosaurs are none other than Bubble and Bobble from my favorite video game of all-time Bubble Bobble. This happens to be the puzzle version of the game, and therefore had to include it in the blog because that's what this entire entry was about...busting a move to solve the puzzle. Never before do I remember an offseason in which the Phils had themselves linked to so many free agents. I see this as a sign that Gillick knows that indeed "standing pat" won't do and is ready to explore his options.

Missing from yesterday's options for new fan groups were Conine's Bovines...sexy!

~Carson

19 comments:

Bob D said...

When does Manuel get a fan club, and what would it be called? Probably would be comprised of the same members of Sandoval's club.

GM-Carson said...

Manuel's Morons has a nice ring to it. Or Charlie's Crutches, because that is what he is to the Phils...a handicap.

~Carson

Maria said...

Free Agency..how exciting. I can't wait to see what Gillick will do. Makes us all giddy inside.

GM-Carson said...

it'll be interesting to see the amount of money being thrown around this winter.

we all know zito, soriano, lee, a-ram will get big pay days. but i bet padilla gets close to his wanted 10 mil a season deal. wolf even stands to make good $$$ coming off major injury/surgery and he sucked last year. sal fasano might even get 3 years 9 million...psyche!

~carson

skeeter said...

bubble bobble...wow

GM-Carson said...

personally, i'm a dig-dug fan...

corey

GM-Carson said...

i don't know why, but i loved those lil bubble blowin dinos. mario kart and bond were good for multi-player action. now, i'm more inclined to tiger woods golf or madden.

another possible fan group- the new bourns...bunch of babies.

~carson

GM-Carson said...

"The Cubs agreed to a five-year contract with third baseman Aramis Ramirez and a one-year deal with pitcher Kerry Wood on Sunday -- both returning to Chicago after becoming free agents."

kind of anti-climactic...

corey

GM-Carson said...

looks like a-ram was just re-signed by the cubs...DAMMIT!!! rumor has it was only 5 years 70 mil. but watch us pay 6 years 100 mil for soriano. ramirez is younger, better contact hitter less prone to slumps, and in a position of greater need (3b)...go figure.

~carson

GM-Carson said...

nice report corey, you're 2-handed typing capability beat me to the punch.

1 arm sucks...it's gonna be a long 6-8 weeks in this damn thing!

~carson

XXX said...

Ed "Scrotum Face" Wade? That nickname makes me laugh to myself literally every time I read it.

GM-Carson said...

xxx- as always, for your, others, and our amusement. you gotta have a sense oh humor if you're a phils fan.

Bob D said...

Charlie's Crutches sounds good. All coaches fall into this fan club as he will use them like crutches. Too bad Howe won't be apart of it.

ARam and Woods gone. Things may just happen quickly this week.

Gillick may want to try a pitcher who has shown alot of potential but has a hard time lately, just like the Cubs are doing with Woods. Pencil him in as a longman and maybe get lucky to get a setup or closer. Such as Foulke, Gagne, or a few others. This with a quality setup guy or two.

I also see articles (Philly.com) that question why get Soriano when we need pitching pitching pitching. The Phils can get Soriano or another expensive big bat and still get a SP for about 7mil, and spend another 8mil on 2 or 3 RP. They have a good bit of money to use to fill the voids and can do all of it at the same time.

GM-Carson said...

i personally don't think soriano is the answer. now if we do sign him, he'll get plenty of cheers from me and i'm sure he'd do a helluva job for us. there's simply not a hole in the outfield right now. burrell, rowans, victorino, and conine.

we need a 3rd baseman, 5th starter, and bullpen help. i'm not into spending a bunch on relief pitchers though. bullpenners are very inconsistent from yeare to year, just look at cormier's phillie tenure. i say sign a bunch of middling guys off the scrap heap and sort them out in spring training with the ones that fail getting released or sent to ottawa.

~carson

das411 said...

Speaking of bullpen help, I wonder what the org plans to do with Matt Smith...do they slot him into the Cormier LOOGY role or leave him in the minors to deveop into a starter again?

Odd how we at one point had 4 lefties in the bullpen and could end up starting 07 with zero...is Mulholland available??

And what's the latest on that TJ Henry we picked up in the Abreu deal? Can he play 3B at all or is he just trade bait to go along with Rowand and get us an arm?

Finally, I've said it before and I will say it again...NO DANYS BAEZ!!! Seriously, I saw him pitch for Tampa last year, followed his meltdowns for the Dodgers at one of their blogs, and I think he even handed us a game for the Bravos at the end of the season. STAY AWAY!!

GM-Carson said...

Das411- ok, no danys baaez (although he has closing experience and had a good 1.29 whip last season). instead we'll just sign tanyon sturtze and ron villone because they're proven wiiners being ex-yanks (*wink*wink).

about cj henry- he had nearly as many errors with the phils minors as hits. he might develop in time, but he sucks now in single A.

aurilia's name is the one currently floating around the phils rumor mill in heavy rotation.

only took 5 years 73 mil to keep a-ram...i'd have lured him away by offering 80 mil.

~carson

GM-Carson said...

the future phils triple A team's name- the lehigh valley iron pigs...that's just bad, no other way to put it...bad!

GM-Carson said...

iron pigs, what happened to nut gobblers? gavin floyd will not be happy to an "iron pig". add that title to "worthless loser" and "mental midget"...

could baez be worse than rhodes? i doubt it. he was absolutely atrocious this year though.

carson, who the hell are you winking at???

cj henry plays baseball? isn't he that fat steroid-using shot-putter that was married to that dude marion jones? who'd we trade to get him?

rich aurilia? can't danny sandoval play third?

corey

GM-Carson said...

i was winking because i had something in my eye.

cj henry is that no-talent ass-clown we got in the abreu deal. he had 23 hits and 15 errors...shitty!

~carson