Pat Gillick has been blowing up my pager all afternoon. I told him not to call when I'm working, but he said he had an urgent message. When I finally got the chance to speak to him he was down right giddy on the phone. I thought Rich Dubee may have passed along some of the "good stuff" to him, but he was happy because he'd pulled off the blockbuster of all deals. No, he didn't cut a deal with the Hall-of-Fame committee to allow Pete Rose his rightful spot in Cooperstown, he did one better...Manny Ramirez is going to be a member of the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies.
How the heck did Patty G get the Bosox to surrender Manny to us? Fact is Manny wore out his welcome in Beantown and Wonderboy Theo Epstein was desperate to rid the Red Sox of him, so he took the pest deal with MLB ready talent available, and that deal happened to be presented by none other than Sir Patrick Gillick. Pat Burrell, Flash Gordon, and Gio Gonzalez are going to Boston in return for Manny Ramirez straight up. Boston still has a productive LF in Burrell now, plus they got the closer they need in Flash, and a solid starting pitching prospect out of the deal. The Phillies get one of the best offensive forces in baseball over the past decade and will serve as amazing protection for bombardier Ryan Howard. Good stuff!
Gillick wasn't done creaming his pants yet, he still had more transactions to tell me about...good thing too, because I was worried about not having a closer of our own. He informed me that he traded Aaron Rowand and Ryan Madson to the other colored Sox of the American League for Big Boy Bobby Jenks...closer crisis averted. Sweet, so now we don't have to worry about Rowand committing fielding suicide and we have a kick-ass closer from the White Sox to boot.
Then something occurred to me...our outfield is now Manny, Vic, and Conine! Gillick gave me a chill-pill with the news that he signed Trot Nixon to a 2 year 14 million dollar contract with an option year for 2009. Then to put the cherry on top of this whole day, he added set-up man David Weathers for 2 years 6.25 million. So, in the end we obtained Manny Ramirez, Bobby Jenks, Trot Nixon, and David Weathers and lost Pat Burrell, Tom Gordon, Gio Gonzalez, Aaron Rowand, and Ryan Madson...I'll take my 2007 World Series ring now.