Friday, October 20, 2006

Phillies Phlashback SaPHurday / Poll

Yeah, I know the Phlashback is Phriday, but I want to acknowledge one of those great former Phillies on more than one day a week. Today, we should remember that great Phillies closer, Billy Wagner.

Wagner just finished a stellar postseason with the Mets. He had a 9.53 ERA, giving up 5 runs in the last 1 2/3 innings pitched, including a game seven ninth inning were the Mets went with Aaron Heilmen (who gave up a 2 run game losing jack) instead of Wagner. Frankly, I couldn't be happier. As Pat Burrell put it, Wagner is a Rat. He's a little girl who only can pitch in May. His late season blown saves (along with Cholly's retardedness) cost the Phillies a postseason appearance last year, and I haven't forgiven him. To make matters worse, the hillbilly alpaca farmer opens his giant yapper and calls out the team...the same team he ruins with his tiny testicles and 80 MPH September fastball.

So, in honor of Billy the Rat, this week's poll is dedicated to current players, who are former Phillies, that you just want to make a fist and smack in the jaw. Which of these players would you most like to punch in the face?

1) Billy Wagner - Big mouth. Small sack. Runs to NY to escape his failure. Fails there too. Needs to be hit.

2) Bobby Abreu - I posed this question to my wife, who admittedly is not the biggest baseball fan, and she said she would "punch Bobby Abreu, because he sucked with the Phillies this year then was awesome with the Yankees." I can't make a better argument. Although Carson doesn't agree, Bobby A moped around RF, was lazier than [insert inappropriate analogy here], refused other assignments (CF, leadoff), and never lived up to his potential. That is worth a bitch slap or two.

3) Scott Rolen - Oh, what a whinny little girl. He wanted the Phillies to spend more, then rejected their rather large contract offer. He always saw himself as bigger than the team, while defending his position with shallow and hollow quotes about his concern for the future of the team. Fact is, he's an H-mo. Now, his team is in the Series, he's hurt, and he's fighting with Tony LaRussa. That is great. Very fitting. Bad news is, there are rumors (or rumours, as they say in England) that he may come back to Philly. Well, easier to hit someone in-state...otherwise, stay in the Show Me State, Scottie.

4) JD Drew - if only one of those C batteries would have caught him in the temple, causing a skull fracture, subdural bleed, maybe a coma or two. We all know the story of JD Fag, no need to rehash those bad memories. Just think of your fist on his face. Mmmmmmm, tasty.
Who would you like to punch?
Billy Wagner
Scott Rolen
Bobby Abreu
JD Drew

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Malt Liquor
Carson brought up Olde E malt liquor in the blog yesterday. I'm somewhat of a malt aficionado. My favorite malt memories...that I can remember...are the St. Ides commercials. Here is one of my favorites.

Go Penn State.

Corey

23 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Disclaimer:

No phormer Phillies were harmed in the making of this blog. WSBGM's do not condone violence, even if it is against JD Drew. Do not try this at home. Do not punch Scott Rolen if you see him. It is all a joke. Except the part about not really liking these guys and billy wagner did suck this year and last.

get your girl in the mood quicker. get your jimmie thicker. s to the t - crooked i-d-e-s...

corey

GM-Carson said...

My vote was cast for JD Drew, as I hate that punk bitch. I had him on a fantasy baseball team this year, and it just hurt me to pull for him lame ass.

Scott Rolen deserve a shot in the mouth as well for being a double talking crotchticular cowboy.

Billy Wagner is a rat and therefore I would curb stomp him instead.

As mentioned in the post, I do not agree with the Bobby Abreu inclusion. I liked Bobby as a Philly and have fond memories, even after he left. He may have been lazier than a dead dog, but he was always solid for the Phils.

P.S. I'm glad people can take a joke when they read our blogs.

Bob D said...

I discounted Abreu aswell. I vote for JD Drew he's my favorite to dislike.

Are we still to throw batteries? and what size - AAA? AA? D? Car?

GM-Carson said...

Bob D- I was a fan of the 9-volt myself to whip in Drew's direction, but your inclusion of a car battery is very enticing.

~Carson

iamspencer.com said...

Wagner and Rolen were right about the Phillies and people should pat them on the back for calling out the real rats on this team - David Montgomery, the ownership group led by Bill Giles, and former GM Ed Wade.

Rolen, Schilling, Wagner - maybe even Drew saw the writing on the wall and decided to part ways with the worst organization in professional sports history.

GM-Carson said...

The Phillies of the new millenium haven't been the same shitty Phillies as decades past. They may have not yet reached the postseason during any of these years, but they are putting a better product on the field that in theory should compete each season. I'm not saying the owners and Ed Wade are/were geniuses, because they are/were not, but to go as far and say that Schilling, Drew, Rolen, Wagner, and other cock-baits were correct in their statements about the Phillies just isn't true. Rolen left the Phillies at the exact time they were making a strong push forward in the salary bracket, and Schilling is a pompous ass, and Drew was a smart ass college prick, and Wagner runs his mouth about both his past organizations...not a fair statement Iamspencer.

dane said...

i voted for wagner because he dissed philly on his way out. abreu might not have always hustled but he always said the right thing. i discounted drew because his refusal to sign might have been the result of scott boras more than him (don't get me wrong, i still hate drew). and even though rolen was a baby he did play hard everyday. my vote is for wagner and i couldn't have been happier when the mets lost

XXX said...

http://www.baseballmusings.com/archives/015026.php

It's a blog, it's lighthearted, it's "humor"...I understand all that, but there is still no excuse to make stuff up. If you want to hate on the best Phillie outfielder in decades, do a little resarch first. As far as Wagner, Rolen, and Drew go...well, maybe they were all on to something - it's pretty hard to keep defending a franchise with 1 world championship in 123 years, don't you think?

I hate to sound like a judgmental prick, but I am going to do it anyway. It is posts like this that make me sad to be associated with other Philly sports fans. The only constant in the Phillies 123 year history has been idiot fans with little to no understanding of what a good baseball player actually looks like. Maybe if Abreu had a fu manchu, things would have been different.

Anyway, other than all that keep up the good work...

GM-Carson said...

XXX- wow, we struck a nerve. Corey simply just didn't like Abreu. He thought that dude got way more hype than he deserved. I don't feel that way, but I find it funny that Corey added him to the list. We're just joking around on here, but under all our satire lies true baseball knowledge. We're not your run-of-the-mill baseball fans up in here, we actually know our shit, we just choose not to BORING, we like to spice things up! And about the FU Manchu...it looked cool, but c'mon Fasano or Rich Schu weren't good and we know that, we just like to have fun with it.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

I reread XXX comment and gave it some serious thought, and read that link he gave (by the way we knew that, but it was convenient for Abreu to say it then). My real thoughts on Abreu are he's an on base machine, with solid hitting skills, plus outfield arm, and good baserunning instincts. Plays below average defense, and is quickly losing his power. I always liked Bobby, and he was my favorite playing Phillie for a long time. But back to XXX comment- "Maybe if Abreu had a fu manchu, things would have been different." Abreu is a fun manchu would have been fricken sweet...that was your whole point right? *wink*wink

Maria said...

Billy Wagner is a pompous prick. I'm so glad he sucked balls in the playoffs and everyone saw how terrible he actually is.

GM-Carson said...

its about time somebody got upset with something i've said (besides charlie manuels wife)

i'm sorry, xxx, that i make you sad to be associated with philly fans, but i have a feeling you'll get over it. you could always start rooting for new york teams, there's one in the bronx with great right fielder (wink.)

i will always defend the phillies too. hey, 1 in 123 years is still more than the devil rays. tampa sucks!!!

anyways, i appreciate all comments. some i agree with, other i don't. everyone is entitled to those, and i write on the blog to express mine. if i didn't want counter-opinions, i would right fluffy, boring, BS. this is more interesting. keep reading and thanks for commenting.

corey

xats said...

I voted for Scott Rolen I think he did the most long term damage to the team, with his long running soap opera and then the way he teased the Phils into thinking he might sign if they spent enough money. When we did finally trade him we got very little because of his being such a pussy. I wish he had just said upfront that he wanted more money and that was it.

Wagner was a close second as he bleated all year how money was NOT the most important thing--yeah right, then he goes and signs with the Mutts for, you guessed it, MORE MONEY. Then he tries to act like the team he was about the sign with was full of losers and he was never coming back to the Phils ever, basically a big kiss ass to all the New Yawk fans. I'm glad we're rid of his sorry ass.

J.D. Drew--I don't dislike him that much at all since he basically told the Phils "don't pick me, I don't want to play for you" and they went and picked him anyway. Yeah, he was a putz once they picked him but we brought in on ourselves. Unlike Scott "St. Louis=baseball heaven" Rolen and Billy "I love Philly, unless you pay me more and then I hate Philly and love you" Wagner who acted like then wanted to be here until they were able to leave and cost us the ability to trade them for much of anything.

Abreu I have mixed feelings on--I hate the fact that he refused to leadoff and then tanked his season once he realized he was being traded--but he did have some decent numbers here and he was good except for the last year (July 05-Aug 06).

xats

BloodStripes said...

Maybe you blokes could come up with a post like this every week and call it "Controversy Corner" Awesome thread today. Emotions are flowing. You've stirred me up!

I like other readers discounted Bobby. He's cool. For my vote I had to play paper, scissors, rock with my daughter because the other 3 are all a bunch of lame arse poofters! I would like to give them all a Sydney kiss! ( No i'm not gay, its a good old Aussie head-butt between the eyes).

Thicken my Jimmy! Yeah! Down a 6-pack of the malt with Ice-Cube and we can pop a cap in those motherfuckers arses! Yeah!

BloodStripes said...

By the way, Rolen got the vote. Don't come to Oz Rolen or your dead meat!

GM-Carson said...

"Controversy Corner" that has a nice ring to it. I might just have to consider doing a post like that. My intention is never to offend or piss anybody off, but at the same time I know we're bound to with all the stuff we say on here.

~Carson

Bob D said...

"Controversy Corner"

Should be a regular spot on the Phils web site as well.

Maria said...

bloodstripes, I love reading your comments...it's pretty great.

& of course Scott Rolen will always be a close second.

BENTZ said...

I have no problem with Abreu. I agree it was time for him to go, but the guy's just a solid player, not a star, just solid. Maybe his effort wasn't always there, but he was what he was. He's a complimentary player which fits well in the NYY lineup, but the Phillies needed more out of him or could go with someone else. He's okay in my book.

The whole situation with Drew was bad, but he and Boras said from the start they wouldn't sign with the Phillies. Right or wrong (definitely wrong), the Phillies screwed up more by taking him. Plus, he's just an okay everyday player, not a star in any way. I don't like him b/c he's soft, but I don't really hold a grudge from the draft.

So it's between Rolen and Wagner and I go with Rolen. Don't get me wrong, I hate Wagner and never really liked him when he was here either. Maybe I look at it more because Rolen would fill a bigger need on this current team. At least Wagner can handle the pressue of an intense manager more whereas Rolen melted under Bowa and seems on his way to doing it again with LaRussa. I think both, however, are overrated as players. I'll take Rivera, Hoffman, Nathan and one or two others over Wagner...and Wright, Chipper, A-Rod, and others over Rolen.

XXX said...

It's all good fellas, I'll continue to stop by and read what you've guys have come up with just like I always have. I admit that I've got a lot of man-love for Abreu and because of that I felt the need to step in and make a pro-Bobby point if I could. I still think some of the facts about all four players have been badly misrepresented, but I suppose that's just the way history works out sometimes.

For the record, although I think Rolen, Drew, and Wagner all had some interesting (and sadly truthful) things to say about Phillies management when they left town, I still can not stand any of the 'em and root extra against them every chance I get. I voted Wagner on your poll though, he's the worse of the group in my eyes - the guy speaks his mind which is somewhat refreshing, but he has a different opinion every day of the week and will do anything he can to manipulate a situation so that he'll come out on top.

And lastly, it's cool you guys respond to comments and make an effort to get discussion going. I was serious in my original comment when I said keep up the good work (though I realize that it sounded rather dickish in the context of the rest of my comment). So...keep up the good work.

GM-Carson said...

XXX- dude it's all good...seriously. We make fun of a lot of people on here so naturally we are going to strike a nerve once in a while. We're glad you spoke your mind yesterday, that takes balls! You're opinions are always welcome on here.

And you're right, I did take your "keep up the good work" comment to be dickish yesterday, but gave you the benefit of the doubt in the end because I read your blog regurlarly and know you aren't an idiot in terms of Phillies and baseball knowledge.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

xxx, i second carson's sentiments.

i will argue this point though, the link you provided with those quotes is informative, but doesn't necessarily tell the whole story. back when the phils tinkered with him batting 1st, he is on record saying he "preferred" hitting 3rd, which is what i was working with when i said he refused. granted, i took some liberties with switching preferred to refused, but it's not like i made the whole thing up. what do i look like, the new york times?

also, OJ said he didn't kill anybody. brittany spears said she is a good mother. snoop dogg said he gave up weed. i'm always a little skeptical when people are "saying the right things" when there is at least some evidence to the contrary.

later on this week, Controversy Corner, where Carson and I offer differing views on the impact, value, and legacy of bobby abreu in philadelphia. it should be long-winded, over-opinionated, and complete horse-crap. anticipation...

corey

BloodStripes said...

Alright, bring it on.