Yeah, I know the Phlashback is Phriday, but I want to acknowledge one of those great former Phillies on more than one day a week. Today, we should remember that great Phillies closer, Billy Wagner.
Wagner just finished a stellar postseason with the Mets. He had a 9.53 ERA, giving up 5 runs in the last 1 2/3 innings pitched, including a game seven ninth inning were the Mets went with Aaron Heilmen (who gave up a 2 run game losing jack) instead of Wagner. Frankly, I couldn't be happier. As Pat Burrell put it, Wagner is a Rat. He's a little girl who only can pitch in May. His late season blown saves (along with Cholly's retardedness) cost the Phillies a postseason appearance last year, and I haven't forgiven him. To make matters worse, the hillbilly alpaca farmer opens his giant yapper and calls out the team...the same team he ruins with his tiny testicles and 80 MPH September fastball.
So, in honor of Billy the Rat, this week's poll is dedicated to current players, who are former Phillies, that you just want to make a fist and smack in the jaw. Which of these players would you most like to punch in the face?
1) Billy Wagner - Big mouth. Small sack. Runs to NY to escape his failure. Fails there too. Needs to be hit.
2) Bobby Abreu - I posed this question to my wife, who admittedly is not the biggest baseball fan, and she said she would "punch Bobby Abreu, because he sucked with the Phillies this year then was awesome with the Yankees." I can't make a better argument. Although Carson doesn't agree, Bobby A moped around RF, was lazier than [insert inappropriate analogy here], refused other assignments (CF, leadoff), and never lived up to his potential. That is worth a bitch slap or two.
3) Scott Rolen - Oh, what a whinny little girl. He wanted the Phillies to spend more, then rejected their rather large contract offer. He always saw himself as bigger than the team, while defending his position with shallow and hollow quotes about his concern for the future of the team. Fact is, he's an H-mo. Now, his team is in the Series, he's hurt, and he's fighting with Tony LaRussa. That is great. Very fitting. Bad news is, there are rumors (or rumours, as they say in England) that he may come back to Philly. Well, easier to hit someone in-state...otherwise, stay in the Show Me State, Scottie.
4) JD Drew - if only one of those C batteries would have caught him in the temple, causing a skull fracture, subdural bleed, maybe a coma or two. We all know the story of JD Fag, no need to rehash those bad memories. Just think of your fist on his face. Mmmmmmm, tasty.
Carson brought up Olde E malt liquor in the blog yesterday. I'm somewhat of a malt aficionado. My favorite malt memories...that I can remember...are the St. Ides commercials. Here is one of my favorites.
Go Penn State.