Just how bad was 3rd base for the Philadelphia Phillies in 2006? Make no mistake my friends it was the ultimate crapfest! You can try to sugar-coat a turd all you want, but in the end it's still a turd. A big fat smelly gooey turd is what Abraham "No-Hit" Nunez and David "H-Mo" Bell were/are...they sucked. No really, they sucked the life right out of the Phillies Wild Card chances. Phils fans have been trying to pinpoint blame for yet another season of disappointment, well look no further than the "cold" corner. The combined production from those sad-sack butt-bags is just poor, awful, terrible, dreadful, horrid, appalling, ghastly, horrific...do you get the point? If either of them would have been the least bit productive than you'd think the Phils would have been able to score a handful of more runs and squeeze out a few more wins...then presto...Wild Card. So, instead of blaming Burrell, Manuel, Gillick, Rhodes,President Bush, Tom Cruise, or Oprah...blame the ambiguously gay duo of Bell and Nunez.
Readers of WSBGM's know a few things that we are adamant about: 1. We think Manuel is a moron/dumbass/retard, 2. Steve Jeltz is a baseball god, and 3. We hate David Bell with his fairy feet, feathery hair, and non-hetero tendencies. Corey and I hated David Bell since his first season in Philly with his lame back and lollipop arm. We hated the way he fielded, hit, and looked. Now he's gone, and what are we stuck with...Nuni...dammit! Nunez is even worse offensively than Bell, but he makes up for his shitty hitting with amazing defense (yeah right). Gillick can't seriously be considering going into the '07 season with a starting 3rd baseman that hits less than Carlos Zambrano.
What are our alternatives? The free agent market for 3rd baseman is pretty unspectacular. Gillick could get creative and go with a platoon, say Russell Branyan and Wes Helms. Separately they look meager, played in the proper situations they'd be adequate. However, that option is more or less settling and I'd rather think BIG. Aramis Ramirez is the sexy name floating around Phillyville lately, and I must say Corey and I have been pushing him around the blogsphere since mid-summer. A-Ram would solve almost all the Phillies offensives problems and create the best hitting infield in the majors. If that doesn't work, how about trading Rowand and a prospect to the ChiSox for Joe Crede...also a major upgrade. On a less likely note, A-Rod might be made available...stupid Yankees! If you foresee any other solutions, please comment.
P.S. I found this pic and instantly thought "I have to work this into the blog!". Well, in honor of David Bell for one last time...