Sunday, October 15, 2006

Bad

Just how bad was 3rd base for the Philadelphia Phillies in 2006? Make no mistake my friends it was the ultimate crapfest! You can try to sugar-coat a turd all you want, but in the end it's still a turd. A big fat smelly gooey turd is what Abraham "No-Hit" Nunez and David "H-Mo" Bell were/are...they sucked. No really, they sucked the life right out of the Phillies Wild Card chances. Phils fans have been trying to pinpoint blame for yet another season of disappointment, well look no further than the "cold" corner. The combined production from those sad-sack butt-bags is just poor, awful, terrible, dreadful, horrid, appalling, ghastly, horrific...do you get the point? If either of them would have been the least bit productive than you'd think the Phils would have been able to score a handful of more runs and squeeze out a few more wins...then presto...Wild Card. So, instead of blaming Burrell, Manuel, Gillick, Rhodes,President Bush, Tom Cruise, or Oprah...blame the ambiguously gay duo of Bell and Nunez.
Readers of WSBGM's know a few things that we are adamant about: 1. We think Manuel is a moron/dumbass/retard, 2. Steve Jeltz is a baseball god, and 3. We hate David Bell with his fairy feet, feathery hair, and non-hetero tendencies. Corey and I hated David Bell since his first season in Philly with his lame back and lollipop arm. We hated the way he fielded, hit, and looked. Now he's gone, and what are we stuck with...Nuni...dammit! Nunez is even worse offensively than Bell, but he makes up for his shitty hitting with amazing defense (yeah right). Gillick can't seriously be considering going into the '07 season with a starting 3rd baseman that hits less than Carlos Zambrano.
What are our alternatives? The free agent market for 3rd baseman is pretty unspectacular. Gillick could get creative and go with a platoon, say Russell Branyan and Wes Helms. Separately they look meager, played in the proper situations they'd be adequate. However, that option is more or less settling and I'd rather think BIG. Aramis Ramirez is the sexy name floating around Phillyville lately, and I must say Corey and I have been pushing him around the blogsphere since mid-summer. A-Ram would solve almost all the Phillies offensives problems and create the best hitting infield in the majors. If that doesn't work, how about trading Rowand and a prospect to the ChiSox for Joe Crede...also a major upgrade. On a less likely note, A-Rod might be made available...stupid Yankees! If you foresee any other solutions, please comment.

~Carson

P.S. I found this pic and instantly thought "I have to work this into the blog!". Well, in honor of David Bell for one last time...

18 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Must have been Asian Pride weekend here at WSBGM's with Corey's post on Saturday and that gay pic today...hahahaha, good stuff.

dane said...

aramis ramirez or joe crede would look good in red pinstripes. i think crede is more probable because i think he could be traded for rowand.

BloodStripes said...

A-ram, Crede, we gotta get someone. As long as one of them makes it to Philly. A-Rod is cursed to never win a championship ring so I'm not sure about him. The cost might break the bank too. Besides the Yanks would be stupid to let him go, even if no-one likes him.

I laughed the most at the fan and vacuum joke. A cracker!

GM-Carson said...

I'm really scared the we're going to either suffer through another season of Nunez at 3rd, or Gillick will go sign another flop like Bell. I grew up idolizing Mike Schmidt, so watching a Phillies 3rd baseman not be able to hit hurts me. Aren't there any 3rd basemen from Cuba that we can smuggle into the country?

~Carson

BenJah said...

aramis ramirez will never be a philly, and even if he wanted to i wouldn't want to pay him. he only tries in contract years...we've seen that act before. crede is a possibility, but not for rowand, the sox don't want him back. honestly, my prediction....help me out oh oracle of hardball....MIKE LOWELL. he's hit more doubles w/ one nut then i could hit w/ three.

GM-Carson said...

If we were to get Mike Lowell on the cheap (say only a few million), then I'd be happy, because he's good defensively too. But the BoSox would have to trade him to us and eat some of the outrageous 9+ mil. contract in order for this to happen. He and Kruk could combine to make a 2-nut mega-athlete.

Los said...

I'm guessing the Phils have nobody in the minor leagues with potential playing third? I agree we have to get somebody at third - but we also need to solve our left-field woes.

GM-Carson said...

I'm not as worried about LF/Burrell as others are. He had documented physical problems (foot/wrist) and he was mentally shot by the end of the season. I'm ok with an outfielder hitting 25+ homers and 90+ rbi while compling a solid OPS. I'm more concerned about our 3rd basemen with a sub .600 OPS and batting around the Mendoza-line...now that's a cause of panic!

BENTZ said...

I agree more production at 3B would be a help. BUT, you have to remember that we have a 2B with much much higher than the league's average production for that position. If we had a punch-and-Judy hitter at 2nd rather than 3rd and a slugger like Utley at 3rd, it wouldn't seem as bad if the 2B had the glove. If you think of it that way, Nunez isn't as bad.

GM-Carson said...

Bentz- I'm sorry but I have to disagree. Never, and I mean never, is it acceptable to have a starter at any position with hitting stats that bad. Nunez could have the combined defensive prowess of Mike Schmidt and Brooks Robinson at 3rd and I still wouldn't give a shit if he continued to bat .211 with an OPS below .600...c'mon!

Bob D said...

Beltre or Feilds from Seattle is a likely senario for the team. Rowand and/or a pitching prospect may land one of them. Beltre's number would improve hitting in CBP maybe even 30+ HRS.

Bob D said...

Better option: Juan Uribe!!!!
He was involved in shooting 2 guys in the Dominican Republic yesterday. He could room with Meyers and carpool to counseling together. We'll just have to move him over from SS and he'll have to fight Nuni for playing time.

BENTZ said...

I'm sorry, I just don't see how 3B is that big of a priority. I think the guy behind Howard is a MUCH bigger issue. Take away Nunez stats from when he sucked as a bench player and it's not as bad. I'm much more concerned with the #5 hitter than the #8 hitter and making sure the pitching staff/bullpen is settled.

Maria said...

I love that picture...you worked it in nicely. The Phillies need so much help at 3rd it's not even funny. Aramis Ramirez is a dream.

Maria said...

& I find it hard to believe that Nunez is .200 hitter. He hit .285-ish with the Cardinals. Maybe he just needs to start a season at 3rd.

GM-Carson said...

Nunez had a career year with the Cardnials in 2005. That's how he landed a 2 year deal with the Phillies. Here's the truth about Nunez- will be 31 next season (not likely to improve), is a career .243 hitter with a career OPS (on base % + slugging %) of .631. Let's put that in perspective, Ryan Howard slugging % alone last season was higher than Nunez's OPS...that's just piss poor!

I agree we need a 5 hole hitter to protect Howard, but that guy might be Burrell. Burrell was good for most of the season until a very dismal final 2 months. If he would have maintained his production consistently the entire season we'd be looking at 35+ hr and 115 rbi...now that's good!

I just don't understand how anybody can be satisfied with a 3rd baseman hitting as shitty as Nunez does...regarless of how good mitt-wise he. I also don't buy into the plea that Utley makes up for Nunez lack of production. We need every position to contribute. That's just my opinion, take it for what it's worth.

~Carson

We-Was said...

Guys -

Sorry I've waited so long to post on your excellent site. However, your recognition of Steve Jeltz pushed me toward creating a blog ID just to say thanks. The Jet is my all-time favorite Phillie. I'm tempted to blast "Man in the Mirror" and play a little air guitar.

GM-Carson said...

We-Was: welcome to the crew!