Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Little Help Here, Jesus

This is Rob Drake, umpire. He worked first base in last nights Phils-Nats game. He missed Chase Utley's three run homer. He is not a very popular man right now.

Rob Drake is associated with the Arizona Umpriring Academy, which trains umpires with the help of...Jesus? That's right, ol' JC is down in 'Zona training umpires. Drake, whose favorite Bible verse is Luke 9:23 ("God said unto the Umpiralites, thou shalt stick it to the Philadelphians.") says on their website, "Every time I walk on the baseball field I want to be perfect. I pray that He will give me the strength to live a sin-free life. The problem is that both are impossible. I will make mistakes in umpiring...He is faithful and just to forgive me." Maybe so, but Philadelphians aren't quite as forgiving as the Messiah. Better stay away from South Philly for a while. I just wish he could see the right field foul pole as clearly as his own salvation.
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Phillies Hate Us
Reason #748 - "$15.00 processing fee or $4.00 order charge is not refundable whether or not a postseason game is played." ??? A processing fee for a process that wouldn't have happened? This is the gratitude that the Phillies orgaization shows to their fans for their faith and commitment. Disgusting.
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Burrell
Why was Burrell in the lineup last night? Ramon Ortiz was/is/will be a right handed pitcher. He's not Greg Harris, he's not switching it up mid-batter. Burrell is hitting .215 this month. Why can't that freaking retard see that he shouldn't be starting against right handed ptiching. Ahhhh.

For memories sake, here is a pic of Burrell back when he could still hit.

Corey

46 comments:

Chris said...

Burrell was on base 3 out of 4 times the nigh before. That's why he was in the lineup. I will never understand the hate for this guy. He was Mr. Clutch last year, this year he sucks in it. Maybe we should just admit that it's largelly random?

BTW, there's no way we lose tonight. Hamels v Astacio? Check out my blog entry for that

GM-Carson said...

I know it may be hard to believe, but Corey and I used to be huge Pat Burrell fans. We still pull for him every lame-ass at-bat and with every mistracked ball hit to the outfield. With all that being said, the dude has been horrible down the stretch drive here, and should not being playing everyday, and especially not against a righty when David "Gooch" Dellucci is riding the pine. All this shit is pissing me off, no way the Phillies should be in a one game deficit after the past two games, but yet they are.

~Carson

GM-Carson said...

Dickbag of the month: Marlon Anderson now has a 1.291 OPS in 21 games for the Dodgers. When the hell did he become capable of doing anything worthwhile?!

Los said...

They are playing tight again - that's not good.

GM-Carson said...

Los- watch what you say there buddy "playing tight again", as statheads are about to pop a vein in their neck because you can't measure "tight". Stupid statheads!

GM-Carson said...

from Corey- "be careful, don't steal their twenty sided dice, or
the magic wizard will get you with a 40 point hit with
his staff of light, unless you block with power shield
and retaliate with a roll of a 6 ..." in regards to a certain site. That's just funny my man!

Whelkman said...

I jumped on the boo Burrell bandwagon myself, but I was a dedicated supporter during his early struggles. Unfortunately, his early struggles have turned into career struggles. He runs hot and cold, but pound-for-pound he's merely above average with a superstar's salary. I wouldn't say much about him were he paid half of what he gets, and I don't subscribe to the wishy-washy "it's not his fault they pay him that much".

Truth be told I'd rather lock-in 3B and RF before focusing on unloading Pat the Brat, and we need a solid LF to replace him. Even the currently "best choice" Conine isn't as strong of a fielder as gimpy Burrell.

BENTZ said...

The only really positive thing I can say right now is that the Cardinals are making a heck of a push to supplant the '64 Phillies from the record books as all-time chokers. Plus, since it's the only franchise that I put on a level ground with the Mets and Red Sox in my most-hated baseball teams list...it's even better!!

BENTZ said...

Important note: if the Phillies win the wild card, then I DO NOT wish the above scenario to play out (rather have the Cards in there).

BENTZ said...

Also, I so much want the Phillies to make the playoffs that even if it takes Barry Bonds breaking the all-time home run record THIS WEEKEND (impossible obviously, but still)...I will take it if it knocks LA out and puts the Phillies in...I'll deal with the Bonds repercussions later :-)

GM-Carson said...

I obsessed with the idea of the Phils getting into the playoffs. Corey and I have a plan to buy tickets when they go on sale, even if it means being ripped off (processing charge?).

More about Burrell- I've been such a big fan of his and kept thinking he'd somehow magically turn it around and realize the amount of power and potential his body holds. I'm now growing to regret the Phillies even drafted him. That is a bit extreme, as Pat has done positive things over his tenure as a Phil, but this latest showing is making me sick!

Maria said...

RISP: It's about -.500 for the Phillies right now? A runner on 3rd & no outs...why doesn't he score?

GM-Carson said...

What sucks the most is that even if the Phils win tonight, we could still be looking up to the Dodgers...dammit!

Maria said...

They've really blown it. They definitely should've won these last 2 games...blehhh.

BloodStripes said...

Pat has always had big holes in his swing, therefore making him prone to slumps. I've seen it written in many a scouting report.

Measuring tightness is easy, it comes from the sound of your farts. If your tight it sounds like your ripping sheets. If your loose your powder puffing. The Phils need to eat some fibre.

BloodStripes said...

Heres just one on Burrell. Street and Smiths 2005 scouting report:
"Pat Burrell is terrible defensively. They ought to deal him and get a starting pitcher. He has alot of holes in his swing and that leads to alot of streaks. There's always something wrong with this guy. He has a hard time staying healthy".

He was good last year, but overall maybe the scout was right. We also may have missed the chance to get a good deal for him.

Maria said...

Pat has holes in his swing?...no way.

BloodStripes said...

There were'nt too many last year. Maybe he come good next season.

The Rev said...

"Maybe we should just admit that it's largelly random?"

And maybe that's exactly the problem.

It's too random with him. I was getting pissed at him last season for looking at called third strikes with runners in scoring position.

I learned as a young kid that you swing at anything close with two strikes. Him not doing it means he's trying to guess and guessing wrong instead of going with what is close and trying to hit it in play.

I hate to say it, but I think he's ruined.

Whelkman said...

BloodStripes,

As a person who's watched Burrell in action since his MLB debut, I agree wholeheartedly with that report, as it applies to his entire career.

Burrell has cut down on strikeouts this year but mostly by not swinging. He's always contacted poorly and always judged pitches badly. Him missing strikes down the middle by a few feet is nothing new.

Other than increased plate patience, Burrell is the same player he was five years ago minus peak strength (and a healthy body). He's not getting better, and his numbers (current year or career) are not acceptable for his salary.

In years past I thought his fielding underrated. He was better than "Gold Glove" Abreu and had great action with his arm that cut doubles to long singles. He still has the arm but can't get to the ball these days. Victorino can practically outrun him to the left field wall.

I am a bit unfair to the guy, though. What drives me nuts are the people who think a 30 year old injury disaster with little sign of improvement during his career is going to magically come out of his shell and become an All-Star next season. It's time to give up on this guy. He's been left behind.

BloodStripes said...

This game is killing me. Win we are still in it. Lose its gonna be too hard. 13 innings and counting.

BloodStripes said...

Its time to say bye bye Burrell.

Whelkman said...

Hey, Gillick, Coste is looking pretty bad out there with his two doubles and unending base appearances. Oh yeah, his ninth inning double last night sucked, too. What an un-clutch ruffian.

Whelkman said...

J-Roll, I'm sorry for all the negative things I've said about you over the years.

Whelkman said...

This game is horrendous.

BloodStripes said...

How are we gonna hang on here. Shit man!!!

Whelkman said...

Holy shit. They keep the dream alive.

Whelkman said...

Congratulations to Castro for his first MLB win.

BloodStripes said...

Hooray fuck! At last. Bloody MLB TV decided to stop on that last AB and I missed it. I cant believe it. At least they won it.

PHEW!!!

BloodStripes said...

Yeah well done Fabio. Good impersonation of Mitch Williams there buddy. Nice job!

I had to delete my love comments for the love was turning into something else, but we all love Fabio here and Jimmy too!

We live to phight another day!

BENTZ said...

Well that game takes the cake.

They tried to give that game away at least 7 or 8 times. Somehow they pulled it out. Huge 2-out hit by J-Roll!

Anyway, tomorrow is super-critical again. I believe if the Phillies remain at worst a game back going into the weekend, they can get it to a playoff, if not win it outright. If they fall two back, I believe they are done. Obviously if the Phillies win and Dodgers lose, that is the best scenario and then it's a three (or four) game season.

One other thing - Dodgers play in Colorado at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon (Philly time). So the Phils should know exactly what the Dodgers did when they take the field. Can Brad Penny continue his late-season struggles at Coors?

BloodStripes said...

That could be dangerous.

Its great the Phils are still in this but does'nt it suck that it hurts so much. This do or die stuff is hard to take. Its the afternoon down here but I need a good lie down after that.

BENTZ said...

One other positive thing tonight - the Padres lost. While San Diego is still 2 ahead of the Phillies, if they lose to Arizona tomorrow and the Phillies win, the Phils draw closer to them too...still don't have to be faster than the bear in the woods, just be faster than the other guy in the woods...

Mike H. said...

So I guess the little help from Jesus went into the Model Dictator's impression of Mitch Williams?!?

GM-Carson said...

Holy crap, what a shitty game. Phils won...luckily! They committed 4 errors, that's just ridiculous at this stage of the game. Dodgers keep winning, that really sucks. Losing that game to Houston and Tuesday to the Nats is haunting.

BloodStripes said...

All that matters now is the result. Maybe the win will give them the lift they need to go on with it.

I just watched the DP ending about 5 times. Watching the Phils Phans go beserk at the end there is priceless. Such joy and relief to still be alive.

If the rocks cant beat LA, SF will push them all the way. A good grudge series that could benefit the Phils as long as they can win. I'm sure SF would love nothing more than to stop LA and see the Phils win the WC.

GM-Carson said...

The way it looks to me- Phills have to take all 4 remaining games, and that still doesn't guarantee anything.

BloodStripes said...

My chest is tight. Although I am enjoying the ride and want it to last. The sooner this is all said and done the better off we will all be. The speculation is endless. I just cant bear the thought of another 1 game behind 2nd place finish. We just gotta get there.

GM-Carson said...

If we finish 1 game out again this season I'll have to drill into my temple just to relieve the pressure building inside from frustration, anger, and sadness!

BloodStripes said...

ROTFLMAO........

Shit man the suspense of it all is killing me.

Like screaming at a wall.

Los said...

So tonight's starting pitcher for the Phils needs to go 9 innings?

The Rev said...

Tonight's starter needs to go at least 11 innings.

I'll say this... if the Phillies can tie it up today, I feel a little better. I think the Giants are going to want to play spoiler on the Dodgers in a big way.

Whelkman said...

This just came in over the wire:

Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel was heard stating to Jon Lieber, Thursday's starter, that "Y'all better go all nine tonight or I'm gonna bust Arthur Rhodes outta the hospital".

Lieber, visibly shaken, begged Manuel to reconsider, "Uncle Charlie, please! I think I can give you seven or even eight! Just have Castro, Condrey, or Sanches ready for me!"

Manuel rebuffed, "Jon, are you crazy?! You have to go all night! Geary, Fultz, and White can't take anymore!"

Lieber, in a last, desperate plea, said, "What are you talking about?! We have more than three relievers! We have to use them!"

Manuel, clearly hungry, replied, “Jon, dag-nabbit, count the number of fingers on my hand. Three! That’s how many relievers we have. Starters, too!”

After the conference, Lieber was seen browsing Monster.com.

GM-Carson said...

Update- the Phillies will get the Wild Card. Why? Because I tried to get potential tickets for Game 4 on Oct. 7th and it was sold out. My luck is so shitty that the Phils will make the Wild Card and I won't even be able to witness it in person....but at least they'll get in.

Whelkman said...

I tried slightly after 9:00 a.m. and couldn't complete the transaction before both games were sold out. The site was pitifully slow but still impressive if one considers that it had at least 20,000 simultaneous visitors.

"Processing fees" will gross $494,000 if there is no wild card.

GM-Carson said...

i also tried this morning, but i was going to buy four tix then sell them on stub hub...guess i wasn't the only one with that idea.

corey