Settle down Carson, this is not a Sky Lopez tribute column. I'm talking about hitting, or the lack thereof, or the teaching of the lack thereof...? Anyways, baseball careers can be fleeting, so these guys have to have a plan. The Dude owns carwashes. The Wild Thing owns a bowling alley. Darren Daulton is crazy. Well, one good plan, if you are a sucky hitter (I'm looking at you Abe Nunez), is to become a hitting coach. Here is a short list of a few of my favorite former Phis and Bucs, with the team that they are/were the hitting coach for:
Rob Ducey - Harrisburg Senators, Staten Island Yankees - in a quote from the NY Daily News, Ducey had this to say about hitting, "[the players] have to understand that hitting is difficult, and that they may not be successful." Great motivation, Douchey.
Rich Schu - South Bend Silver Hawks - lifetime .246 hitter. Of course, he did have a stellar career with the Nippon HamFighters. Apparently spent most of his time teaching the players how to grow a mustache while in South Bend, so he didn't last very long.
Jeff Manto - Pittsburgh Pirates - Manto played with 8 teams during his 10 year career, but not very well with any of them. He has a .230 lifetime average. That and the fact that he went to Temple makes him a total loser, and at the same time extremely qualified to be the hitting coach of the Pirates.
I'm sure this list could be expanded, but this is all I could come up with offhand. I know Don Slaught and Greg Gross were/are hitting instructors, but they didn't suck enough to make the list.