Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Teaching Others To Suck

Settle down Carson, this is not a Sky Lopez tribute column. I'm talking about hitting, or the lack thereof, or the teaching of the lack thereof...? Anyways, baseball careers can be fleeting, so these guys have to have a plan. The Dude owns carwashes. The Wild Thing owns a bowling alley. Darren Daulton is crazy. Well, one good plan, if you are a sucky hitter (I'm looking at you Abe Nunez), is to become a hitting coach. Here is a short list of a few of my favorite former Phis and Bucs, with the team that they are/were the hitting coach for:

Rob Ducey - Harrisburg Senators, Staten Island Yankees - in a quote from the NY Daily News, Ducey had this to say about hitting, "[the players] have to understand that hitting is difficult, and that they may not be successful." Great motivation, Douchey.
Rich Schu - South Bend Silver Hawks - lifetime .246 hitter. Of course, he did have a stellar career with the Nippon HamFighters. Apparently spent most of his time teaching the players how to grow a mustache while in South Bend, so he didn't last very long.
Jeff Manto - Pittsburgh Pirates - Manto played with 8 teams during his 10 year career, but not very well with any of them. He has a .230 lifetime average. That and the fact that he went to Temple makes him a total loser, and at the same time extremely qualified to be the hitting coach of the Pirates.

I'm sure this list could be expanded, but this is all I could come up with offhand. I know Don Slaught and Greg Gross were/are hitting instructors, but they didn't suck enough to make the list.

Corey

12 comments:

GM-Carson said...

take a look at that picture of jeff manto with ryan no-mit. he's actually showing him where the ball should hit the bat. you think ryan made it all the way to the majors by hitting with the handle? i guess you have to start with the basics, but come on. i should not criticize, they've done wonders with chris duffy...

GM-Carson said...

Oh, how I pine for Sky Lopez...thanks a lot Corey!

It's amazing how many managers and hitting/pitching coaches were shitty players. I guess they "know the struggles of a blue collar player" right?! F that!

~Carson

joe said...

i think that a lot of these poor-hitting hitting coaches didnt have the physical skills, so they had to really learn the art.

the funniest thing is when you get a damn good hitter, like John Kruk, and the kids won't listen to him. I think Krukker said "I guess they dont want to learn to hit from a career .300 guy"

GM-Carson said...

Joe- welcome to the blog!

Don't get me wrong, there are coaches that were crappy players that end up succeeding in the coaching realm.

Kruk was the man. I recommend reading his book "I'm no athlete lady"...fricken funny!

~Carson

Los said...

Steve Jeltz and Jeff Stone sucked enough - why hasn't anybody contacted them about being hitting coaches?

GM-Carson said...

Steve Jeltz since leaving baseball has turned to the streets as a pimp. Heard the Phils Single A team offered him a spot as a player/coach, but he said, "I can't leave my ho's!" True gentleman through and through that Jeltz was.

Whelkman said...

Sky Lopez is a freak. She stars in 69 films, finds Jesus, and now produces hip hop? She should hook up with Darren Daulton.

Kruk's a hero. Usually I can't stand fatso first basemen, but Kruk sure could lumber along the bases at surprising speed. I long for the days when Phillies scouts chose fundamentals over Travis Lee good looks.

Whelkman said...

Holy shit! That's one fat, bloated shutout!

GM-Carson said...

We still may be below .500 and a couple games back from the Wild Card, but damn it feels good to be a Phils fan right now! I told people that donut-eatin-son-of-a-bitch was pitching better! I can only hope Lieber pitches respectablably the rest of the way.

BloodStripes said...

Another killer victory for the fightin' Phils. Leiber blitzed 'em. I cant believe that through these wins, 27 runs scored, there was not a single RBI for Howard. Bizarre, but not a bad thing. And how is Nuni! 8 game hit streak now. Another ribbie. Not to mention his glove work. The man is a champion.

It sure does feel good to be a Phils fan right now. Their gonna take this damn WC thing out.

Spencer said...

One of my biggest pet peeves about the Phillies is the fact that winning doesn't seem to be a consideration when hiring coaches.

If I were a GM, this would be a top characteristic for me.

GM-Carson said...

My prediction- Howard has a 3 rbi day today (Thursday). Blasting #42!

Mathieson is the key to the Phils today. He seems good for 1 trip through the lineup, then all hell breaks loose. Leads me to believe, as others do too, that he may be best suited for relief.