Thursday, August 24, 2006

Blowouts Suck

The Phillies got blown out by the Cubs today. The way I see it, we have three choices as to what to do: 1)Look on the bright side 2)Distract ourselves with something else and pretend today never happened 3)Make fun of David Bell 4)Get completely hammered. I'll help you with numbers 1 through 3. Here goes.
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Model Dictator
3 more inning of scoreless baseball. Orel Hershiser better watch his back, the Dictator is coming for your scoreless innings streak. And at the rate he pitches, he might get there before it is time to retire. Might.
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Distraction
Couple things I want to mention here:
1. I'm freakin' sick of Turkey Hill Graham Slam Ice Cream. Every commercial break of a Phillies radio broadcast I have to listen to that Radio-DJ-WannaBe Scott Graham read fake letters about how great his stupid ice cream is. Enough. I want more Cherry Hill Nissan commercials. The friendly Nissan Giant should kick Scott Graham's ass and take his ice cream.
2. When are we going to see the powder blue uniforms make an appearance. It's been way to long. Look how good it made Von Hayes look. Just think what it could do for Rick White.
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David Bell Hating
I still dislike David Bell, and calling him names makes me feel better about myself. Look at the hair on this fairy-stepping fruit. (By the way, H-Mo Bell's wife is attractive, which really makes me mad.)

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As for item number four, you guys are on your own. I know what I'm heading for...

Corey

22 comments:

IUP Philly Fan said...

Hahaha! Von Hayes! I have a great Von Hayes story, let me know if you want to hear it.

That Graham Slam commerical is really stupid, although my friends and I enjoy making fun of it. On Monday night, I caved in and finally bought some of that Graham Slam stuff. It's really good, although I like the Eagles Touchdown Sundae better.

David Bell, even when he's making a gutsy play, still looks like he just got done getting a dead dog off the road.

BloodStripes said...

Not that i'm a fan of any commercials, the budweiser ones on the broadcast are usually pretty funny. The nose-bleed section guy one. LOL, they crack me up being here in Oz and all.

Numb Nuts Nunez is proving to be better than Fairy feet Bell. Just check the stats for proof. Is twinkle toes wife a good sort eh? Your gonna have to show us. No way I can get a glimpse from here without your help Drama Queen. Although I must say my wife is a top sort. She is hard to top.
Haha!!!
:]

BloodStripes said...

Does that make sense? I mean, i'm no fan of them but if we have to have mershes then piss the ice-cream ones off and just play the beer ones.

I was just given 2 duty free bottles of Sambuca! Yeah!! Let Sam book you in! I'll be having a few shots but should sleep it off just in time to listen to Wolfy howlin' at Shea. Game time is 9am for me. Man I hope he's on.

C'mon Wolfman.

arff, aaaooooooooooooooo!!!

GM-Carson said...

Thank you Corey for making me have a mental image of the Cherry Hill Nissan Giant pounding the shit our of Scott Graham and "his" ice cream!

Not only should the powder blue jersey make an appearance, it should get regular rotation!

I hate David Bell!!!!

~Drama

BloodStripes said...

My apologies to you Doc.and Drama Queen, I got mixed up. I shall check more thouroughly in the futre as to who posted the blog. So I should say a glimpse of Bell ringers Mrs please Doc.

:]

xats said...

Two things I hate about those damn Graham Slam commercials:

1. They run so often and so looooooooooooooooooooong. Can't Scott read just one damn letter and figure it out and not three??? And they run every half inning like no matter what--I keep waiting to hear the Emergancy Broadcast Test interrupted by that damn commercial (yes, we're under nuclear attack, but wouldn't you like some yummy ice cream...no i'd rather be irradated by Al-Quida.)

2. I hear Graham's voice and I think the game is back on so I perk up and pay attention. Then I realize it's just another freakin' commercial...jesus, I hate that! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

BloodStripes said...

Thats what I do xats. I perk up cause I think the game is on again, but its just the bloody mersh. MLB radio never used to have all the mershes, it just went silent for most of the breaks, but now I seem to get the lot. Phillies franks, dodger dogs, Anahiem car dealers, SD Mexican resturaunts.........everything.

I want it all, but its oughtta reach. (insert wink smiley here)

GM-Carson said...

xats, i'm glad others feel my frustration.

GM-Carson said...

iup philly fan, please share you von hayes story.

Whelkman said...

At least the Graham Slam commercial doesn't leave the "I want my...I want my WB" jingle in my head for days at a time.

"Office lady want to be set free...
SET FREE!"

David Bell belongs dancing in that commercial. How the hell does this WB Mason company stay in business spending more money than Coke and Pepsi combined on advertising?

"Low prices...free delivery!"

It's even worse now that they've shortened it. I could tune it out before but am now forced to listen to the abrupt edits.

"I WANT MY WB!!!"

GM-Carson said...

the WB jingle in so damn annoying...god, now it's in my head...thanks a fricken lot!

Whelkman said...

I aim to spread my suffering.

The Rev said...

When I went to the Phillies press dining area this year, I got some Graham Slam ice cream up there with dinner. And it was freakin awesome. Really, it is tasty stuff.

Do you guys collect autographs? I got Von Hayes' autograph so many times outside the Vet he probably remembers me.

GM-Carson said...

Dammit, now I'm going to have to go buy some of this stupid ice cream. Stupid commercials...stupid internet!

Whelkman said...

And I need to order some blinding white paper.

"Would somebody please remove that woman's blindfold?!"

GM-Carson said...

that damn W.B. Mason commercial is driving me extra nuts tonight because of our conversation today.

BloodStripes said...

Yeah....I'm actually paying attention to them now. Bloody hell!!

How many times can i say that today?... LOL.... Lets try for every 2nd post.

GM-Carson said...

alright mate, bloody hell then!

Whelkman said...

At least they no longer play the long version!

Next topic:

What's with the jailbait clad in stripper gear for buyafastcar.com? Not that I care, but I can't even hear what she's pitching.

J R said...

Whelkman, I'll tell you how WB Mason gets their money! By charging UNGODLY prices for their stuff! My school used to order from them, but when I found some equipment I needed for nearly half their price, we switched to a different supplier.

After seeing their ads over and over again during Red Sox games, I began wondering the same thing! That's some pricey advertising!

Me said...

WB can afford all the marketing and commercials because they get rid of dedicated employees, the people that they get rid of have 10 years or more years with the company. that is loyality to them
they sux

Me said...

WB MASON COMPANY TOTALLY SUCKS!
CORPORATE GREED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!