Friday, July 07, 2006

Intervention / Karma / What? / Distraction

The Phils just lost to Los Padres 5-3, losing their 8th series in a row. They suck worse than ever. But that is not important right now, because the Phils, and one pitcher in particular, have a bigger problem. Aaron Fultz, I'm talking to you now. We at WSBGM's are here because we care. This is you intervention. You have a problem with the rosin bag.

Never have I seen a player rely this heavily on rosin. Before every batter, sometimes multiple times during a single at-bat, you load up your hand with the chalky white stuff. The remnents of your trips behind the mound fly from your hand as you release each and every pitch. Even the '86 Mets think you use the powder too much. The bill of your cap is so loaded with the stuff, it looks like Otis Nixon's coffee table. Get yourself some help Aaron, you can kick this habit...
Tom Gordon gets named to the NL All-Star team. He then blows a save one night, and follows that up by yielding a game-winning homer the next. Phillies baseball, catch the karma!
The Phils are paper thin and balsa wood sturdy when it comes to pitching. They had to use "bullpen by committee" to start a recent game. But when they have a roster spot available, who do they bring up....Chris Roberson. What? He of the blazing fast .095 batting average. What do they need with 6 outfielders anyway. While Brian Sanches and Clay Condrey ride a bus from Scranton to Syracuse, and the bullpen is on it's last legs, Roberson sits on the bench, waiting for his opportunity to run a 40-yard dash...
Todays distraction goes out to one long-suffering member of the Phaithful:

"It’s a rare condition, this day and age,
To read any good news on the newspaper page."
Especially if it's the back page of the Daily News...Urkel for Bullpen!


1 comment:

GM-Carson said...

next distraction I want to see: Full House theme that show!